I received a cow! The gift of gratitude...

It was a rainy Saturday. We were invited to a barbecue and arrived early to watch the football game between Belgium and Ireland. As friends and family arrived and the match ended with a win, our host started off his speech to welcome everybody, thank them for being there and hoped everyone would enjoy the meal. We enjoyed our dinner in a splendid warm family setting, then had to excuse ourselves as our youngest needed to get home to sleep. At that moment our host asked if it was OK for him to address a farewell speech. Of course it was OK, but after the "thank you for coming", "hope you enjoyed everything" part of the speech, the speech suddenly became life changing for me... At the end of his speech (and after numerous tears being shed), I officially doubled the number of brothers I had (from one to two), quadrupled or more the family I had (estimates would bring this +100 or more) and became the proud owner of ..... a COW!

What just happened? In Rwanda giving a cow as a gift is one of the most powerful signs of gratitude and friendship. Giving someone a cow is worth far more than giving someone an expensive car, because economics don't matter here. The cow gives people drinks, income (by selling milk on the market), education (by using the money to go to school instead of having to perform child labor) and in the end food.

Maybe it's fair to give you some background here... About twenty years ago, I was volunteering in a youth club when they told me a 15 year old refugee just arrived in my hometown, all alone! They asked me if I would go over to visit him and integrate him into our society. I remember the first time I met Egide, 15 years young, without parents or family, survivor of the genocide in Rwanda... he sat there in an old castle, that used to be an elderly home until a few months ago. A little white room with ridiculous high ceilings was his new home. I was sure this was going to be one sad experience, but it wasn't. In French he introduced himself and a big smile revealed his sparkling personality. I was flabbergasted to see so much positivism, confidence and hope in the eyes of such a young boy who had faced more bad things in 15 years, than most of us face in a lifetime. As of that day, Egide became a friend, best friend and finally brother (not in a legal way, but most definitely in an emotional way). We spent a big part of these last twenty years together... I've seen him succeed in his secondary school, mastering Dutch in a matter of weeks, being super entrepreneurial in every day life, giving back to others, getting a job, getting another job, meeting his wife, negotiating for his house, letting me be the best man on his wedding (I've participated in their (pre)wedding festivities, which are so rich compared to our wedding traditions), letting me be the godfather of his girl Keza, being there when his boy Huza was born... all of them moments of happiness, warmth, friendship and success. I've watched a young 15 year old political refugee out of Rwanda, grow into a successful family and business man here in Belgium.  In short Egide MADE it IN BELGIUM!!!

In 2014, in a matter of weeks, Egide lost both his jobs (relocation and bankruptcy). Instead of getting depressed (like most of us would), he asked me what he could do next. I told him I could get him into a Master program and change the direction of his professional life, but he'll have to do the hard work. All I did was use my network and connection and appeal to the goodness in people I know that also wanted to contribute in Egide's development and success. Two years have passed and Egide went from a B2C sales consultant and factory worker to unemployed to a highly appreciated and successful B2B IT Security consultant (with a master degree). If there is one thing we can learn from Egide, it is that no matter how bad or hopeless you situation seems, there's always a positive future as long as you believe and are grateful of what you have. Good things happen to grateful people!

So what about the cow... Egide, and I decided that my cow (I'm still too emotional to come up with a creative name for her) would live in Rwanda, supporting a family over there and sending the kids to school with the money they make by selling the milk they don't need. We'll go and visit her soon in Rwanda!

Realizing the impact you made on just one person is so overwhelming, especially if to you it seems like not a big deal: being there for someone, listening, advising, encouraging... it doesn't take any effort, but it can be life changing. What if each of us would try to be there for one person around us, supporting them, being there and impacting there lives? What if instead of a hollow "thank", we would show our gratitude, not through expensive gifts, but by offering a cow...?

You know you've done something right in your life, the day you receive a cow! I hope each and everyone of you can at one moment in your life receive a cow and each and every one of you can at one moment in your life, find a person so rewarding, that no words or gifts can show your overall appreciation as good as with the gift of a cow...

Understanding the power of this gift Egide gave me, I couldn't help but noticing how inspiring Egide has been for me these past twenty years. The human richness, goodness, fairness, honesty and gratitude Egide brings to people around him is so empowering. Egide is an example of how to live your life in a positive and hopeful way. Now that I have personally felt and understood the power of gratitude, how can I thank Egide in any other way for having become my brother and for always being there with a big and warm smile, then by giving him a cow...

Therefor, when Egide and myself will go to Rwanda, there will be not one, but two cows. I will come back on this post once we have visited Rwanda and named our cows. Maybe from there on we can be creative and start a "give a  cow" campaign, thus giving a means to honestly expressing someone made a difference to us, while helping the people in Rwanda. Wouldn't that be more powerful then just sending money and letters to a child somewhere in the world? We have lost the notion of gratitude in the Western world, luckily people like Egide haven't!