Layoffs Suck – My Story Part 3: Resilience and Reinvention

Picking up from Part 1 and Part 2

Finding Myself and What I Want to Do

November passes, no job. I get the results from my various health tests back and everything is normal. This is reassuring, but also frustrating because my physiological symptoms are stress and anxiety related. Which means, the only solution is to manage those symptoms and work on bringing down stress levels. So easy…

Going into the job search, I know I don’t want to settle for certain roles or salary. With my experience and background, I know what I’m worth. I know what I’m looking for: senior level, leadership roles leading CW strategy that offer remote work. The trouble is I’m not finding many roles that meet those needs. Am I a choosing beggar? I’m grateful for the flexibility I have to hold out for what is right for me for a little bit. I’m fortunate, and also feel a bit guilty for this. I could have it worse.

I speak with all the leads I have. Some roles sound exciting and I think it’s going well, then I hear nothing. The ups and downs of hope are hard to handle. At the same time, others just want me to sell their products and services. Or they want to use me for my contacts and get them into programs. I don’t want to do that. Ghosting happens frequently, even from executive leadership at companies. A simple “no,” would have been fine. I’m thankful for the folks that reach out and want to help even if they don’t have the right roles for me now.

The year ends, no job. I grow desperate, applying for roles below my desired level and salary, but I still face rejection. Feedback is minimal, typically citing overqualification or a different direction. Ghosting continues. Workday pisses me off. Some interview processes are a joke where the recruiter explains what a CW program is. Others clearly have no idea what they need and when I make recommendations, I don’t hear back or get a canned email rejection.

The frustration mounts. Each rejection brings about negative feelings, sometimes anxiety, sometimes depressive symptoms. The physiological symptoms are still there. They continue to scare me, but I know they are just my body’s inappropriate way of reacting to anxiety and stress.

Each day without a job, I start to get concerned about when we’ll need to dip into savings. I’m grateful for the severance I’ve received, but I know that will run out. I start questioning what I even want. After nearly 17 years in the corporate world, is that what I want to go back to? I start writing down my thoughts. Anything, thoughts on work, thoughts on my life, thoughts on the CW industry. This is therapeutic. Maybe I’ll share some writings on LinkedIn.

As I write and converse with my network, new ideas emerge. An overwhelming number of questions begin to surface. If I'm not working for a company, who do I work for? Could I go independent? How the hell do you even start a company? I don’t like having to sell, how could I get clients?

Friends, Partners, and Encouragement

Enter Dustin Talley. Dustin and I have known each other since we worked on a project back in 2011. Throughout the years, he was great at keeping up with me and what I was doing. After I was laid off, he called me up and let me know that he started his own consulting company, Talent Simplified, and Direct Collective, his peer-to-peer CW program networking group. He mentions possibly needing some part-time support for projects he has. I had never freelanced before, but if I’m going to advise about that topic, it’s probably good to have done it myself. I figure I can continue job searching while doing a little work through him, plus make a little money too.

The jobs still don’t come. But at the same time, I’m loving my freedom. I’m writing articles about contingent workforce. I have time during the day to do things I want to do. Outside of client and partner commitments, my time is more my own. I’m not tied to the corporate machine that I had come to loathe.

Dustin begins planting the seed of starting my own consulting firm. Do I go all in and start my own thing? Again, how do you start a business? I know I can’t rely on Dustin for my sole source of income, so I would need to sell and put my name out there. That seems like a lot.

Terri Gallagher is another catalyst as I think about going fully independent. Terri and I have networked since 2015 when she went independent and started Gallagher and Consultants. She’s discussed with me a few times about joining the consulting space because I had a vision and that was the best way I could see it come to life, but each time I politely declined.

We have stayed in contact over the years. I talk to her more seriously about now becoming independent. She encourages me and provides guiding words of wisdom from her experience. Our vision of the CW space is in alignment, and we love the idea of challenging the status quo. We discuss building a brand around that vision. With this encouragement from two people I admire, maybe I should consider.

I’m torn, do I really go independent?  

Like any reasonable man does, I talk it over with my wife.

She helps me think through the pros and cons. We look at finances. We discuss what it would mean for me and, more importantly, us and our family. She just wants me to be happy. She wants me to feel good about what I’m doing. She knows I long for a sense of accomplishment, a sense of purpose and duty. She has been my rock through all of this and the shoulder I cried on when all seemed dim in my world. I love her for that. She is the final encouragement and push I need to go for it and start my own company.

On Tuesday, April 18, 2023, a Pennsylvania Certificate of Formation is officially filed for CWM Strategies, LLC. More on that in another article.

1 Year Anniversary

It’s been one year since I was laid off and I’m still bitter about it. I’m more critical than ever of companies and their choice to lay off workers. I’m convinced that if they can scale more effectively using contingent workforce as a key pillar of their workforce strategy, perhaps less layoffs would need to happen. It’s a common theme of what I write about to this day.

But maybe it was for the better. When I started CWM Strategies, I said I’ll give myself 1 year to see how being independent is, and if it doesn’t work out, I can go back to finding a job. While I’m open to opportunities, I’ve stopped actively looking for jobs. Instead, I’m looking for opportunities where I can service clients – basically just a different kind of job search. But it’s different, in a good way, and I like it.

Through being independent and this experience since the layoff, I’ve seen how resilient I am. I’ve learned how much creativity I have and how I can apply it to the CW space. I’ve felt accepted and respected amongst industry peers. I’ve enjoyed being able to work on my terms and put out content I want to put out. I’m more responsible for my own fate than ever before. I’m my own brand but I’ve learned firsthand that networks are more powerful than you can imagine, and I only regret not having a larger and more connected one while I was employed.

As for certainty and control, things we all long for – we will never have absolutes of these. We control what we can and accept that some things are beyond us. Certainty is a gamble – you have to trust and hope for the best. Rely on those that you trust and truly believe in you. Be yourself, and more importantly, believe in yourself. That’s what I’m trying to do.

I don’t know the future of CWM Strategies, but I like what I’ve started. I like the path I’m going down, as uncertain as it is. I like the people I work with, and I like my network. This is new and different for me. But I know I’m not alone. From dealing with layoffs to exploring independent work, the future of work is changing for everyone. It has changed me. I’m optimistic for the future and excited about where the industry and myself are going.

I usually end my articles with a small promotion of my company, but instead I want to add a piece of commentary.

This article was for me. It’s also for those that have gone through the struggle of being laid off. This was my experience and I wanted to write it down in hopes that others going through it now or have gone through it in the past can relate and not feel so alone or devastated or angry or anxiety-filled or whatever other negative emotions that can be felt in this type of experience.

It’s easy to sit in the negative, and hard to pull yourself out. If you know someone going through a layoff, check in on them. If you’re going through one yourself and struggling, reach out to someone that you can talk to. Even if it’s just to not feel alone.

Layoffs suck, and as cliché as it sounds, you’re not alone and you’ll likely find something better. You have every right to feel those emotions, and you shouldn’t be scared to feel them or show them. None of this is easy and it’s unfortunate anyone ever has to go through it. You deserve better, and you’ll find better.