Letting go of negative emotion in the workplace

What injustices have you suffered in your life or work. Are you harboring resentments or negative energy right now over slights or mishandled situations? Sometimes it seems at work that respect can often be hard to win with colleagues and clients alike and negative stereotypes can influence others’ treatment of us at times. Or if we disagree with a manager's point of view, it can cause them to become angry instead of fueling positive debate and discussion. Whatever field you are in, there are always rejections and emotional ups and downs along with uncertainty and the chaos of the last 2 years that can overwhelm even the most successful of us. To cope, many find it easier to bury negative emotions of past hurts or project failures deep inside rather than to face them., But guess what? Those past resentments and disappointments that you are holding onto are impacting your energy and success today so you need to face them or let them go so you can focus on building inner resilience and being in the present instead of living in the past.

If you are able to observe yourself every day and notice that you becoming more tense, irritable or angry on a regular basis, ask yourself what set you off. Sometimes a negative remark or a business failure can really hurt and it is normal to feel frustrated but if you go to work consistently in a bad mood, you are doing yourself, your co-workers and your business a real disservice. Other times, we have feelings of being disrespected, insignificant or worthless that overwhelm us for apparently no reason. If we’re honest with ourselves, past wrongs committed by people we expected to respond better aren’t easily forgotten like our normal everyday problems. Betrayal seeps into the bones and carves a well of toxic thoughts and feelings. Anger feels like an effective answer to betrayal, and it takes a lot of pain and suffering to raise your own little army of resentments. Unfortunately, that army is actually attacking YOU and destroying your ability to let go and move on to better circumstances or face the person who hurt you calmly to resolve the situation. Letting go of resentment and negative emotion can be incredibly hard but is incredibly powerful and will help you shift back into a more positive emotional state for higher productivity at work and in life. 

 Below are some great tips to shift out of negative emotions and get back to being positive and productive:

1. GAIN PERSPECTIVE- It’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture when your unresolved feelings begin snowballing into anger and blame. Be aware of or record your feelings in writing. Revisit later and see if those feelings make sense in the bigger picture.
2. FACE IT OR LET IT GO – The person who “wronged you” probably forgot already. Consider the perspective of the one who hurt you. This person is not sitting gleefully reliving how they once affronted you. More likely, they were unaware they did you harm or totally forgot. If the situation really upset you, schedule a time to talk to the person who hurt you and use language like “ When you said x, it made me feel Y”. No amount of emotive rage will change the past. It’s natural to go through stages of grief when you’ve been hurt in some way. If you can’t resolve it let yourself go through them all the emotions. Then let it go.
3. TAKE THE HIGH ROAD - Taking the high road feels amazing. By now you’ve probably noticed that resentment hasn’t gotten you anywhere. That’s because you’re putting your energy and resources into nursing animosity instead of more fruitful endeavors. When you discuss the situation with the person who wronged you, focus on win-win outcomes for both to build a better go forward. Try to understand why the other person responded the way they did and whether stress or specific circumstances caused the reaction. Bring empathy and understanding to the discussion is hugely helpful. If there is a pattern of disappointment or lack of trust, opt to move on graciously instead of making a scene. It never is worth while holding onto a client or any relationship where trust has been permanently breaches. 

To avoid resentment and negativity, set clear and realistic expectations with co-workers, clients and clients to start. Practice gratitude and humility as well as being forgiving of others moods and slights. Think of what you want and what they want and how both parties can achieve their goals successfully. Remember the below quote when a situation is taking charge of your moods:

 “Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but instead it is letting go.” —Hermann Hesse

 I’m inspired to help other business professionals achieve their true potential and live healthier and happier lives. Why? I’m passionate about the business of living fully and achieving personal and professional goals that are meaningful. During the decades of owning and running a leading Talent Solutions company, I have witnessed countless people suffering from burn-out, chronic illness, severe stress, depression and anxiety. I’ve experiences the joy of the ups and the agony of the downs in our business and decided to use my decades of experience and training as a successful recruiter, Black Belt Martial Artist, Registered Holistic Nutritionist, Certified Emotional Intelligence Trainer and Reiki Healer to develop specific training and coaching programs that address the health habits and soft skills needed to create lasting success. I have a easy to understand courses available on my training site at www.tishconlin.com or you can contact me at tish@tishconlin.com to book a live coaching session.

 "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it." ~ Johan Wolfgang von Goethe