Life After My Last Bet: A Lived Experience

By Craig Tampin

December 17th, 2021, marked a pivotal moment in my life – the day I placed my last bet. It’s a date etched in my memory, accompanied by feelings that I couldn’t describe. Under the influence of drugs and alcohol, I was numb, unable to think rationally, and operating purely on impulse – a pattern I had followed for many years.

The best way I can describe this feeling was like a hamster wheel going round and round – always expecting a different outcome, but getting the same one. The routine of heading to the place to put on your bet, the heart-racing thrill as I entered the shop, the devastation of losing all of my money, and the ensuing anger at myself as to why I did this again.

Fast forward two years from that moment, I decided to change. I admitted I was helpless and out of control. I noticed a change in mindset when I was dealing with situations differently. I would use gambling as a coping mechanism for my feelings. I now know what feelings are, and how to describe them. In the past, I might have thought I understood these feelings, but now that I can feel and identify them, I know that I was more than likely lying to myself.

My mindset has changed, setting me free, bringing peace, and feeling genuine happiness. While there are days when I do have bad spells, my newfound self-awareness and acknowledgment of the situation allow me to deal with life a lot better. Instead of being blind to reality and shutting out the world, I confront the ups and downs head-on.

Gambling will always have a massive part in my life, but it’s about what I do in the future. My focus now is on shaping a future that not only benefits me but also contributes to the support and recovery of others with gambling addiction. It's the steps we take forward that make a difference.

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