Lockdown Lesson 1: Embracing Vulnerability

About 12 years ago I told someone close to me that eventually, I wanted to work within global brands and effectively work my way up to become a Brand Director of a leading drinks company. The response I received to my dream job was that ‘they don’t hire people like me for jobs like that’ and then and there, my bubble was burst and my dream evaporated. I was hurt, I felt stupid, vulnerable and subsequently, my need for validation in my work increased as I felt like an imposter. 

Fast forward to 2019 and I was happily ensconced in a permanent role with a young pub company where I lead all of our brand partnerships & activations as well as being responsible for the sales & marketing function across the group and I started to see that perhaps my little dream from all those years ago might actually be a possibility. 

And then, Covid19 arrived and changed everything. 

Whilst we can still only speculate as to how hard the hospitality sector has been hit, how and when it will recover and what it means for the thousands of people that have been put on furlough (like myself), the reality is that our beloved industry, like others, is going to take a long time to get back on its feet and the dream jobs that people held or aspirations people had might now be distant memories and that in itself is sad and can leave people feeling disappointed, vulnerable, scared and anxious. 

I am one of those people. 

I am certainly not pretending that my personal issues are bigger than a global pandemic and as I write this I worry about my family and friends around the UK, in Europe and further away in New Zealand but I am also scared for my mental health and that when I do return to a role that I could fall back into the pattern of needing validation for my work more than is offered. I also worry that the people that worked so hard to get to a place of security in their job may now feel vulnerable as they sit at home waiting to hear if there is a place for them once we emerge from lockdown. 

This is almost a time of being so overwhelmed with emotion that it can be hard to maintain a sense of positivity at all and to look to the future some days can seem pointless, especially when we have no knowledge of when this will end. However, for my own sanity I have had to work very hard at setting new (achievable) goals, planning ahead as best I can and continuing to educate myself daily even if it is only in one small thing. 

In a bid to help anyone who is feeling even slightly like myself I have listed below the books and podcasts that I am currently reading/ dipping in and out of/ referencing when planning / using as a makeshift table for my wine glass because surely I cannot be the only one sat here wondering ‘what next’? 

For those of you pondering the same question I am, there is one quote by Oprah that I keep coming back to you… 

“Take what you’ve learned, what is part of your nature, what you have developed as skills, what feeds your passion - take that and align your personality with your purpose’. 

As I focus on all the things I have learnt over the years, the aspects of my personality that feed the job that I do and where my passions lie I feel a large part of this search for validation drift away. I still feel vulnerable as I am one of thousands in a very similar position at the moment but I am embracing that vulnerability as best I can and it starts with publishing this article. 

I'd love to hear from anyone in a similar situation to me who is struggling at the moment and what they are doing to alleviate self doubt or stay as positive as they can during this time.

Podcasts: 

Brené Brown ‘Unlocking Us’ 

Oprah Winfrey ‘Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations’ 

Books: 

Brendan Kane ‘One Million Followers’ 

Sheryl Sandberg ‘Lean In’ 

Susan Jeffries ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’ 

Cordelia Fine ‘A Mind of It’s Own’