Male leaders responding to gender-based violence
Doug Taylor
Social Purpose- Leadership, Governance & Education. Chief Executive Officer at The Smith Family. Board Member
‘It feels to me like we are working through some very difficult issues as a community at the moment. The public conversation and protests of the last few weeks about gendered based violence have been both timely and difficult. The alarming increase in the deaths of women requires leadership action at all levels. I acknowledge my reactions to these conversations reflect my own life experiences as a male, and that these will differ from the experiences of many of our team members, so I’m anxious about not causing further harm. I’m also aware that at the core the acts and behaviors of males are the cause of so much of what we have seen and are talking about.
Too often ‘advice’ is provided to women when in reality it is not a woman’s problem to solve. And so, I want to challenge myself and other male colleagues to reflect deeply and think about how we can act to be effective bystanders and allies with women.
In talking about this as a problem for men to be doing more work on it seems to be we need to work at two levels. Firstly, in a way that targets those things that contribute to men acting violently. Much has been written in the last week about the impacts of alcohol, gambling, online misogyny and cost of living impacts.
It’s distressing that it takes more violence and murders to get the types of investments outlined in the last few days by governments. There will no doubt need to be more investments and initiatives to address some of these underlying causes.
Clearly there’s also much more work to do in the culture of how men relate to women and that leads me to think about our workplace and reminding my male colleagues about how we should act and behave. I found it useful to re-read our policy on Discrimination, Bullying and Harassment Policy. Concerningly these things happen today in organisations, and when they happen in The Smith Family, we will address these issues. Male colleagues play an important role in understanding this policy but furthermore there’s a role for all in adopting other approaches as ethical bystanders and allies. Here’s a few things that I’ve reflected on:
· Self-Reflection: It would be time well spent for men to examine their own attitudes, behaviours, and adherence to harmful gender norms. This involves an honest assessment of one’s own actions and the impact they have on perpetuating sexism and misogyny.
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· Active Listening: It’s important for men to listen to the experiences of women and understand the challenges they face. This can lead to greater empathy and a better understanding of how to support women effectively.
· Challenging Sexism: Men can confront and challenge sexist comments, jokes, and stereotypes when they encounter them. This includes speaking up against such behaviours in social settings and the workplace.
· Public Behaviour: Men should be aware of how their behaviour in public spaces can affect women’s sense of safety. Simple actions like maintaining a respectful distance and being mindful of one’s presence can make a difference.
· Bystander Intervention: If a man witnesses potential or actual abusive behaviour, he can intervene safely by distracting the abuser, checking if the victim needs help, or seeking support from others.
· Education and Advocacy: Men can educate themselves and others about gender-based violence and advocate for change within their communities and workplaces.
I’m ever conscious that much of our work is focused on supporting young women and mothers as they grapple with many life challenges. I’m also very aware of the large numbers of women that are part of our team and so sharing these thoughts with you all, and men in particular, seemed to make sense. What matters most in all of this, is realising our shared humanity in working together so all people have the possibility of a life and future that they themselves choose, one free of fear and full of opportunity. Thanks for listening and here are a few more useful links.’
Chief Impact Officer, SmartyGrants at Our Community. Non-Executive Director, Windana Drug and Alcohol Services.
5moGreat piece Doug, it must be hard knowing when and how to speak without as you say doing more harm. But we know that we must work with men if we are change gender norms. So many blokes I speak to feel helpless about what to do, so articles such as this with practical advice and what they can do if they witness violence can only help.
Founder, the human enterprise, I help leaders create collaborative cultures where everybody takes ownership for results
6moGreat post Doug. I think I’m doing much of that, well I think, and time for more reflection. I could do more.
Social Purpose- Leadership, Governance & Education. Chief Executive Officer at The Smith Family. Board Member
6moThanks all for your comments and feedback. There’s so much more to do. The challenge now is to keep the focus on the things that will make the difference.
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6moI really like your reflective list for men: Self-Reflection, Active Listening, Challenging Sexism, Public Behaviour, Bystander Intervention, and Education and Advocacy. There needs to be much, much, more of this, and it would be a huge benefit to our country if it were consistently modeled across the political spectrum.
Founder of Women with Cents | Speaker | Author | Certified Money Coach® (CMC) | Award winning finance expert
6moI am often reminded of the quote “The only thing necessary for evil to triumph in the world is that good men do nothing.” Perhaps if more men like yourself take the charge of having these conversations with other men, and getting curious about the origin of entitlement (and it is entitlement if violence or murder is the response to a woman leaving) and discussing and planning how a different message and example is set for the next generation. It goes beyond the workplace and policies and goes to actions at home and conversations in bars or after work drinks. It’s one thing to follow protocol in the office and another to act with humanity when no one is watching.