But it was meant to happen

We are not immune to suffering and hardship both in our personal or business lives. At some point throughout our lives, we will be likely to experience pain of loss, hurt, or trauma. When disaster strikes, how do people move forward? How do they survive? I have been around people who have gotten into situations where they thought they reached a dead-end, a place where they couldn’t get past, for them it was the end, but is it really? How do we move forward?

What can we learn from people who have experienced immense suffering and move on to live fulfilling lives?

People all over the world have experienced trauma. Through wars, poverty, genocide, natural disasters, economic hardship and terrorism have visited almost every country on the planet. Yet, nations, communities, and individuals have survived. Let’s take a lesson from those who have experienced trauma and emerged stronger on the other side. What qualities do they have that allow them to experience suffering and then move forward with their lives?

Resilience

In 2010, Edison Pena was one of 33 Chileans who became trapped in a collapsed mine for 69 days. During the first few days after the mine collapse, Pena along with the others found himself feeling sick and was reaching his emotional breaking point. At that point he thought he needed to do something, and that was to run. The conditions were not easy, extreme heat and humidity he ran 4-8 kms per day to his favourite songs by Elvis Presley.

Pena was able to recruit others that were trapped with him to start running as well, he then earned his nickname “The Runner”. "I wanted the mountain to get bored, seeing me run," he wrote. "I am not defeated. I am fighting. I feel that by running I am fighting to live."

Following his rescue Pena didn’t stop, and went on to complete the New York City marathon.

We often take the wrong approach to resilience. We imagine a Marine slogging through the mud, a boxer going one more round, or a football player picking himself up off the turf for one more play. We believe that the longer we tough it out, the tougher we are, and therefore the more successful we will be. However, this entire conception is inaccurate.

Fear and Worry make us vulnerable to the effects of stress. Fear makes us doubt ourselves so we don’t think we are worth taking care of ourselves. Fear makes us think we can’t fulfill our dreams or don’t deserve attention or success. Fear can make us sick and it can make us afraid to recover. Fear can make us focus on the negative, feel more comfortable being a victim and make us not stand up for ourselves.

But it was meant to happen

Once you’ve overcome the obstacle that was in your way, you will realise that it was meant to be there. You just didn’t know that when it was in your way. Throughout our lives we will most likely come across situations that make us sad, uncomfortable, depressed or broken – yet these things happen for a reason.

There’s purpose, meaning and growth to be gained from whatever tough times you face, but first you have to consciously accept the position that you’re in and put it behind you. This is your opportunity to move forward, knowing you’ve overcome something that has just made you a stronger person, not only for you but for your friends and loved ones as well.