National Military Appreciation Month - Celebrating my fellow Sisters-in- Arms

National Military Appreciation Month (NMAM) is celebrated every May and is a declaration that encourages our citizens to observe the month in a symbol of unity.  In honor of Military Appreciation Month, I am reaching out to all of my fellow military women and women veterans… women sisters in arms…as we all share a very unique bond. 

I honor you. I celebrate you. I thank you for your willingness to serve our country. 

I remember during my first squadron tour as a naval aviator was in Key West Florida. One weekend in 1990, I went on a cross-country flight with a woman pilot in my squadron—Lieutenant Kara Hultgreen.  We were flying in a support squadron, before the combat exclusion law was repealed in 1993.  A couple of hours after leaving Key West, we stopped for fuel at a North Carolina Marine Corps base. I climbed down the aircraft steps toward the Marine Corps ground crew comprised of all men. Every one of them stared when I removed my helmet and my long hair tumbled out. Because there were few women flying military aircraft at the time, I was accustomed to long stares and unusual questions. One man asked, “You don’t fly this aircraft, do you?” I said, “No, but she does,” motioning toward Kara (she’s like 5’10) as she climbed down her side of the aircraft and took off her helmet. We laughed about our “unmanned flight,” went about our business of getting the jet refueled and serviced, and, shortly thereafter, climbed back in, waved goodbye to the ground crew, and continued on our flight. I can bet we all have similar type stories and experiences. For years, I attracted that same reaction and was frequently asked about all aspects of being a woman in the military and what it was like to fly. Even more so after the combat exclusion law was repealed in 1993 and Kara and I were one of the firsts to join a combat squadron on the Aircraft Carrier USS Abraham Lincoln. Kara was the first woman F-14 Tomcat pilot and I flew as a Naval Flight Officer in the EA-6B Prowler.  

Probably the ONE question I got asked the most during my military career was “why did you join?” I am sure many of you have gotten similar questions throughout your career. What inspired you? Were you born with a desire for adventure? Or just wanted something different for yourself, a nontraditional job, something out of the norm? Maybe a teacher or parent inspired you to dream big, take a chance, or go down a different path. Perhaps you grew up around the military or simply you wanted to serve your country. There are many reasons why each of us decided to serve, to join the military, why we stayed for a career and also why many of us left before we hit that 20 year mark. 

As we celebrate Military Appreciation Month, I want to encourage each of you to take a moment and reflect on your military service and realize you have a unique advantage as a military woman, as a woman veteran. As a veteran, you have a unique advantage that uniquely equips you on your personal and professional journey because of your military service and veteran status.  You understand teamwork, camaraderie and the importance of mission achievement and let’s not forget the day-to-day hands on leadership and management experience during your time in the military, whether you were an enlisted member or an officer, or whether you served 4 years or 24 years.  

Did you know that approximately 7% of Americans can claim the title “military veteran. As of 2020, there were about 18 million veterans in the US and approximately 2 million of them are women. There are currently 200,000 women currently on active duty.  Women serve in almost every capacity in the armed forces, including in combat zones on land, at sea and in the skies. More than 90,000 women have served as fighter pilots, medics, military police and in other positions since the start of the war on terrorism on Sept. 11, 2001. It has become common to see women performing almost every job in our military services and one of the things I love about our military is that it offers a level playing field to both men and women offering the same training and opportunities.  In the military, your success is based on performance not gender.  

According to data from the U.S. Census Bureau (2020 data), veterans have a measurable advantage as small business owners. Veterans are 45% more likely than nonveterans to start their own businesses. They are also gaining, on average, a higher five-year success rate on new ventures than their civilian counterparts. Nearly one in 10 small businesses nationwide are veteran-owned. Collectively, these 2.5 million veteran owned small businesses employ almost 5 million Americans and generate more than $1 trillion in revenue. There are 97,00 veteran women-owned businesses in the United States with total revenues over $15.8 billion. The states with the largest number of veteran women-owned businesses are California, Texas and Florida. 

Syracuse University’s Institute for Veterans and Military Families conducted a study “The Business Case for Hiring a Veteran.” The study identified specific characteristics commonly exhibited by veterans. Characteristics such as resilience, discipline and focus, willingness to collaborate, strong motivation and strategic orientation - commonly known to us veterans as mission focus.  All skills that are lifesaving on the battlefield, can also be winners in the business world. Other skills included the ability to quickly and decisively react, whether they’re in high tempo military operations or in the boardroom. Either case determines victory or defeat. Veterans are found to be hardworking, accountable and used to reporting back and assessing how to make things better the next time.  In the business world, this equates to commitment and accountability. Veterans also are incredibly flexible and trustworthy, have the ability to make difficult decisions under pressure and exhibit strong organizational commitment. Decision-making is always high on the list for most important skills of a business leader. The study concluded that the leadership and strong sense of mission developed in military service are two of the highest valued business skills and one of the primary reasons civilian companies & corporations want employees that have military experience.

I was the keynote at a women military & veteran conference a few years ago and I reached out to my network and asked for their inputs on what I needed to share with the military women and women veterans in the audience. A few nuggets included: 

• Veterans have instant credibility when we apply for jobs. From then on we have to earn it!
• Don't be afraid to ask a fellow woman veteran to network with you, introduce you to someone or just have coffee and review your resume.
• What is still one of the strangest professions for women to go in? The military. If you were successful at that, you can do just about anything. 
• Women Veterans are NOT victims. We see too much of that portrayed in the media…push back on that perception and let people know who we are…strong, amazing, talented women who chose to serve.

So, I don’t know about you, but I am honored to be included in the 7% of Americans that call themselves military veterans and not only because of the unique military advantage but because the military gave me more than I gave it. I could have served the rest of my life and never repay the military and the U.S. for the amazing opportunities it offered me both as a citizen and a woman.

Another interesting question that I got over the years was “Who are these women who serve?”  I often thought, “they are our daughters, sisters, neighbors, friends, and yes, even moms.” I started my military career at the age of 17.  I joined the Navy on delayed entry and started active duty a month after I turned 18. When I was graduating from high school, joining the military wasn't the “in” thing. The primary motivators for me were financial and also a fierce independent spirit to get out on my own. I became a Navy air traffic controller and my first duty station was at Ford Island, Hi.  My first supervisor, Chief Dickinson, encouraged me to apply for a Navy ROTC scholarship during my first enlistment. I applied and received the scholarship, attended the University of Idaho and pursued a degree in computer science. After graduation from college, I was commissioned an Ensign in the Navy and started flight training and one year later received my wings of gold, flying as a naval flight officer. I had the opportunity to fly on and off aircraft carriers, ejected from an aircraft over the Atlantic Ocean, was one of the first women to join a combat squadron after the combat exclusion law was repealed in 1993, and receive an air medal for combat flights in Iraq.  Yes, I had a great career and would do it all over again in a heartbeat! 

My career lasted for twenty years, until 2004 when I retired from military service. As I packed away my flight gear in the basement just a few months after having my first son, I thought about the legacy, as a mom who had enjoyed a very unique career, that I would pass down to him. I envisioned him piloting a make-believe airplane—maybe a kitchen chair—wearing my helmet and one of my flight suits, asking me what it was like to fly low and fast through mountains or to tell him again what a “kick in the pants” it was to be catapulted from 0 to 110 knots in less than three seconds off an aircraft carrier, I dreamed of him one day proudly telling his friends, “My mom flew jets in the Navy, and she even ejected out of one over the Atlantic Ocean!”  and then, in the same breath, ask me to make his favorite chocolate chip cookies.

It became important for me to pass down a legacy to him and any future kids I would have, a legacy that values the importance of American freedoms and the legacy of service and commitment to a cause greater than myself.  I thought a lot about how I would do that. Most likely it would be through sharing my experiences and stories.  I didn’t want my military and aviation experience to be a far-off memory, and I wanted my kids to have a piece of it even though they didn’t experience it with me. This whole concept of passing down a legacy resonated with me. Have you ever come across an old chest or trunk in the attic?  There is a deep curiosity to peer inside.  What causes this spark of interest and what draws us to this closed chest?  I believe there is a tiny spark of hope as we peek inside, of finding unique treasures hidden within the depths. Perhaps it is a childish hope, but it is alive in all of us none-the-less. The reason is simple. We long for a legacy—even if the legacy is not linked directly to us. Our joyful reward for peeking into a chest would be to find a little piece of history hiding there, of special items that someone left behind from a by-gone era. A legacy is timeless. It reflects the heart of the person who left it and brings joy and inspiration to those lucky enough to find it. Most importantly, a legacy, does not need to be physical or visible in order to be appreciated and valued. Some of the most precious and priceless legacies are the internal ones we carry with us through life. Some of the most valuable legacies that have been passed down to me over the years were in the form of mentorship, people coming alongside me, encouraging, uplifting, speaking into my life, offering their perspective and counsel. A big part of my own career and even personal achievements has been because of those willing to mentor and walk alongside me. 

When I was considering writing a book after my military career, my husband was on a train for business and struck up a conversation with a woman publisher and he shared with her about my military career and my ejection and experiences as one of the first women aviators to join a combat squadron. He came home excited encouraging me to write my story, but my story was really just a small piece of a bigger story.  I thought of the unique group of military women that I was a part of and wondered about the stories they would tell their children & others about their time in the military. 

That is what spawned the idea of the book “Military Fly Moms.” It is a coffee table style-book of stories and photos of women who are moms and military aviators…..I interviewed over 200 women and ended up with 70 women highlighted in the book. The book shares each woman’s story, why she wanted to fly in the military, how she met her spouse, her joys of being a mom, how she balances family and career and each shares the legacy she wants to pass down to her own children and future generations. Every woman I interviewed stressed repeatedly that balancing a family and a military career was not easy. Many came to the conclusion that things don’t always have to be perfect—in fact, frequently they can’t be, especially when juggling demanding jobs and family priorities. Many of the women stayed in for a career but there were just as many who did not….and some now, like many of you, are business owners, stay at home moms, doctors, entrepreneurs, authors and corporate professionals.

Although not all of our stories are captured in a book, I think it is important to share our stories of service and sacrifice, the challenges and the successes. I encouraged the women in my book to be honest and authentic about their experiences and not overly Pollyanna. Although the book is very inspiring and uplifting with lots of great stories, the struggles are also there and that offers a really genuine, authentic and relevant perspective.  

Telling our stories is important because they inspire others, especially our young people that if you can do it, they can too. Telling our stories also helps others who may not have first hand knowledge of what its like to be in the military and how hard it is sometimes to transition back into the civilian sector. It is also important to share your story with those that may not be aware of the sacrifices and service that protects the freedoms we all enjoy. Telling our stories also encourages other veterans to share their own stories and it also puts real faces and stories behind the phrase “women in the military.”

I spoke at an Employee Resource Group Meeting several years ago; it was before my book was published. I specifically spoke about the book and shared stories and photographs of several of the women in book and at the end during the question & answer period, an older gentlemen stood up and he commented that he had never spoken about his time in the military.  He had been stationed in Vietnam years ago and he started to tear up and say that now maybe he was ready.  I still remember that moment as if it was yesterday. It was very special and it reinforced my vision & purpose about the book, to share not only my story but other women’s stories, because each story, like each of your stories, has a similar thread that weaves itself throughout and it creates a beautiful tapestry that provides a lasting legacy to our own kids and to future generations. 

So, in closing and in celebration of Military Appreciation Month, I want to remind you, my fellow sisters-in-arms, that as military women and military women veterans, we have a very unique advantage that equips us in a powerful way when we leave the military and start our next journey. I also want to remind you to pass down your legacy to those who follow behind you, and most importantly I want to remind you to share your story…others want to hear it!