Nobody told me that being a dad could feel this bad.

I remember the first time I felt rejected by my son. He was just a baby, breastfeeding and completely attached to his mom. I wanted to hold him (the draw was so strong) and he didn’t want to have anything to do with me. 

And that would have been just fine, 90% of the time. Except, dads find a lot of comfort in our physical bond with our children. And on a day when everything else had gone wrong, and I needed some kid snuggles, the mutual focus between he and his mom left me out in the cold.

And I pouted, and sulked. All the while knowing that while I happened to be forty years old, I was indulging in adolescence. I was ten again. And I was mad about it. Clenched fists and stomping my feet mad!

Now he’s older, and when he rejects me it's verbal, intentional, and forceful. And I love it. What changed between then and now? What did I learn? 

The most important thing I’ve learned in the combustible union of parenting and marriage is that nothing, ever, is unheard of. Every combination of interaction and reaction between fathers and children and mothers and the rest of the world has been done, experienced, discussed, and by and large documented.

That means there is a lot of information out there to research that, if you pay close attention, all leads to one conclusion about ourselves and our situation and about the job we’re doing as fathers: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG. 

Unless we make it wrong. Unless whatever we’re doing doesn’t net positive results anymore. Unless we’re completely unhappy with the outcome over and over again.

 Is it time to let go of the things that aren’t working, and try something new? Are you exhausted, pissed off or ready to quit? 

Sometimes dads just need to vent, man. (Bro. Bruh. Dude. Brother)

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