Overcoming Social Awkwardness

Human beings are Social animals. Yet a majority section of the population deals with something which is called “Social Awkwardness”. What’s that? Well, that is the tendency of an individual to get back into their shells and isolate themselves when they face a crowd or even a group of 5-6 people. Sometimes these people are fairly new, like in an event or gathering, and at times they are familiar, but just too many in numbers.

I used to be a victim of this common ‘syndrome’ and needless to say it took me a lot of pain to come to terms with it and finally gather the courage to overcome it. Every now and then, I am experimenting more and more with myself, so I can in turn figure out some actionable steps for people who deal with the same.

Let’s start with some basic elements which have helped me so far and if applied correctly will definitely garner some results for you too :

1. Choose the Right Event :

Remember the time your parents took you out for that boring family function or your Partner made you hang out with their ‘friends’? All you did was stare at the time, waiting to leave and just making silly excuses to look into your social media. These are the exact events you need to miss. If you constantly attend functions which bore you from the very beginning, there will be no zeal to socialize.

Actionable Step – Look for functions which get you excited. Where you know you will come across interesting people and make that a choice which isn’t influenced by anyone apart for yourself.

2. Choose the Right Crowd :

Awkwardness starts with silence. And silence is the result of running out of topics. While making friends you need to be very choosy regarding whom to hang out with. If you are in a group of people who speak about a certain topic about which you have no interest in, it’s definite that you won’t pay attention.

Actionable Step – Look around the room and carefully observe people. Whom do you find similar to you? Their way of dressing up, the accessories they are wearing, the food they are eating…every small detail you can gather to give you a positive sign that they might be of a similar mentality as you

3. Choose the Right Opening Line :

In order for you to choose the right ice-breaker question, please be sure to observe the person or the group for a considerable time. Try to look for that common factor. Maybe you have some mutual friends, or maybe you all enjoy dancing to the same upbeat track. Be spontaneous and ready to improvise where needed.

Actionable Step – Let’s say I’ve been invited over to a friend’s party and I spot a person I would want to befriend. A good first move would be to smartly place myself around them so as to not make them conscious. Carry a smile and break the initial weirdness. Once you get a smile back, consider that a green signal. After that prepare myself to break the ice and normally ask if he/she is also a friend of the guy who invited me – “Hey, are you also a friend of Chris (Random friend’s name)?” Both Yes and No can be easily taken forward as a conversation.

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