The Paradoxical Nature of Safaricom Marketing

Safaricom cold called me to tell me about Masoko. I’ll say it again. Safaricom cold called me to tell me about Masoko.

Ah, Safaricom! The eminent telco giant that has bestowed upon us the marvel that is Masoko, their e-commerce platform. And how do they choose to promote this wonder of modern shopping? By cold calling clients, of course! Yes, in a world where digital advertising can pinpoint my interests with laser-like precision to the very colour of my socks on the day, Safaricom opts for the one of the most archaic marketing tactics: interrupting my day with an unsolicited phone call.

Imagine my delight as my phone rings, not with a friendly chat from a loved one, not a business engagement follow-up, but with a robotic pitch about a service I already know exists. It's as if Safaricom's marketing department got stuck in a time warp. I can hear someone yell “cost-cutting” in the back. Come sit at the front. You need to comprehend this well. This isn't just a simple oversight; it's a full-blown regression to the dark ages of advertising.

And why you may ask? Because at the helm of this otherwise modern company sits a leadership team as ancient as the hills, their minds fossilized in an era where cold calling was the height of innovation. These decision-makers, who probably still marvel at the magic of the fax machine, have yet to grasp the concept of tactical digital advertising. “The customer care reps are just doing their job”, I hear someone else empathise. Precisely! They are just doing their job. They are specks of dust in a sandstorm. Cogs of a multi-billion-shilling machine. Their input as what consumers want would never be requested or considered.

It's poetic! The leadership at Safaricom reminds me of the Nine Rings from Tolkien's lore, those powerful artifacts that Sauron used to dominate their wearers. With every passing minute, these outdated executives tighten their grip on Safaricom, dragging it deeper into irrelevance. Each communication released by the company feels like another tightening of the noose, another step closer to total domination by the past.

In a world where companies are using big data and AI to craft ads that could read my mind, Safaricom’s insistence on cold calling is not just laughable; it’s a catastrophic mistake. It's what happens when the wrong people, those out of touch with modern realities, hold the reins. Their leadership isn't just old—it's a relic of a bygone era, an artifact that should be displayed in a museum rather than dictating the strategy of a telecommunications giant.

And what of Masoko itself? An e-commerce platform in the hands of the most dominant company this side of the continent? It could a game changer, well that’s a stretch, but it could be successful. However, that would only comes to pass if was built, articulated and supported by those seeking to address, change, and disrupt consumer behaviour.

So, Safaricom, while you're busy dialling client numbers at 8.27am on a busy weekday with the fervour of a telemarketer from the '90s, perhaps it's time for some self-reflection. Maybe consider an overhaul of your leadership, strategy or both, before the metaphorical rings of power completely subjugate your creative potential. Until then, I'll be here, dodging your calls, and wondering how a company with so much promise can so spectacularly miss the mark. Additionally, thank you for unconsciously inspiring this piece. Sauron is watching!