Self Limiting Beliefs: Just Because You Think It, It Doesn’t Mean You Have To Believe It

The scriptures say it, science proves it, the ancient philosophers and modern day thought leaders teach it… our thoughts and beliefs help to shape our action and behaviour. But despite this, many of us still let our self limiting thoughts and beliefs hold us back.

Many of us have self limiting beliefs that hold us back that we are not even aware of, because we’ve accepted them as a reality about ourselves. We believe them because for as long as we can remember, we have always held those beliefs, sometimes not even remembering where the belief came from. 

This can affect extroverts, introverts, men, women, black, white, it does not discriminate. Even the most confident of us can be struck by a self limiting belief at times.

It can ruin careers, businesses, relationships, all because we choose to believe it. But just because you think it, it doesn’t mean you have to believe it, if it isn’t true.

We often act according to how we feel

We are very much led by our emotions and many of us act according to how we are feeling. This is often as a result of the thoughts and beliefs that we hold about ourselves and our situations. If you feel anxious about something that you need to do, or you are fearful or lacking confidence about it, chances are you won’t do it, or, you go ahead and do it, but because you feel so anxious about it, you don’t do it to the best of your ability. These limiting thoughts and beliefs having been formed as a result of our lived experience.

It could have been an early childhood experience where you were made to feel like you weren’t good enough. It could have been overprotective parents. It could have been an experience in adulthood that made you feel inadequate and not good enough, such as a public humiliation at work that knocked your self belief. It may have been that you were different to everyone else and rather than embracing that difference, have grown to believe that this difference means that you can't... or that you aren't as good as... 

Whatever the reason, it has shaped your beliefs and is holding you back from being all that you are capable of being. The good thing is, you can choose to do something about it.

To address it, you need to be aware of it

So, how do you address self limiting beliefs if you don't even know that you hold them? Look where you are at in your life, career, or business, or what it is that you want to achieve and ask yourself whether things are as you want them to be. If the answer is no, examine your thoughts and beliefs about what it is that you need to do in order to make it happen. Or, what the reason is for you not doing what you need to do in order for it to come about.

If your thoughts and beliefs are ones that cause you to feel anxious, fearful, lacking confidence, that you are not good enough, that you can't, that you will mess up, that you will fail, that you will succeed and not be able to cope, that no one will be interested, that you can’t speak up, or that things will go wrong, chances are, you have self limiting beliefs.

Just because you hold those thoughts and beliefs, it doesn't mean that they are true, and you can challenge them and change them, even if it is a belief that you have held for years. For one client, an experience in her early career had shaped her beliefs about herself and affected her confidence in certain types of situations. As a young, introverted woman, working in a male dominated, extroverted environment, she was often made to feel that she had nothing meaningful to contribute and that her views were not good enough

Whilst she went on to achieve a successful leadership career, she was still holding herself back from all that she was capable of, because of those self limiting beliefs. Self doubt would often rear its ugly head and she suffered with imposter syndrome.

You can challenge and dispute the thoughts and beliefs you have about yourself

By my challenging her thoughts and beliefs and helping her to put things into perspective, she was able to recognise that the experience from her early career had shaped how she saw herself and what she believed about herself. 

In the grand scheme of things, when looked at in comparison to all her achievements from a career spanning 20 years, that early unpleasant experience paled into significance. Plus, she was able to see that it in no way defined who she is and what she is capable of.  Furthermore, she realised that the way that she had been treated at that time was unacceptable.  

With this new way of thinking came a new level of confidence and the belief that she could achieve the next level up in her leadership career. That belief was pivotal in her achieving it.

Recognise when you are getting in your own way

Learn to recognise when your thoughts and beliefs are getting in the way of you achieving what it is that you want to achieve. Regularly spend time self reflecting and challenging yourself as to why you aren’t doing the things that you know will be of positive benefit to you.

By doing so, it will help you to put things into perspective, and to view your situation in a more helpful and rational way. This in turn will help you to see how much you are holding yourself back and with that awareness, make it easier to identify what you can do about it. And if you can’t do it on your own, get the support of someone who can help you.

What self limiting beliefs are holding you back in your career and what can you do to overcome them? Even if your self limiting beliefs have been entrenched for as long as you can remember, they can be changed, so try it. Remember, just because you think it, it doesn't mean you have to believe it. 

Have you overcome self limiting beliefs and as a result, taken your career to another level? I would love to hear about your experience so please share in the comments below.

ABOUT ME:

I am The Coach for High Achieving Introverted Women, an Executive, Career, Business Coach, Writer, Speaker, UK top 50 Business Adviser and the founder of Abounding Solutions . With over 25 years coaching and leadership experience, I help women (with a particular emphasis on introverted women) to be authentic, bold, confident leaders and excel in their careers and businesses.

I also help organisations develop the talent pipeline of female employees so that more women make it to senior management roles.

I write here on LinkedIn, on my website and on Huffington Post on subjects to help women achieve optimal potential in their careers and businesses.

Are you a high achieving introverted senior woman? If so, join my new LinkedIn community for high achieving introverted senior women, who are members of senior management teams or executive teams. It is a place to discuss issues relating to your career and how to thrive in environments that don't view introversion as a strength. Come and join the conversation here.

All high achieving women who want to be authentic, bold, confident leaders and excel in their careers and businesses are welcome to join my other, more general community of High Achieving Women here