Servant Leadership at Work with Sheila Lirio Marcelo, Co-Founder & CEO of Ohai.ai, and Founder of Care.com

With more than 20 years of leadership experience at major internet consumer businesses, Sheila Lirio Marcelo has received multiple awards and accolades and is often called upon to share her business experience and wisdom, whether it’s at speaking engagements or in recent leadership articles.

Sheila founded Care.com in 2006, took the company public in 2014, and served as its Chairman and CEO until 2020, when it was sold. This year, she launched Ohai.ai, a new AI assistant designed to help families tackle the mental load of managing a household.

In this Q&A, Sheila shares her perspective on Servant Leadership, her career journey and how she aims to impact and inspire others.

What does Servant Leadership mean to you?

To me, servant leadership is about putting others first and leading by example. It’s about empowering those around you to reach their full potential, creating an environment where everyone feels valued and heard and can be authentically bold. If my team wants to work in their pajamas or needs to sign off early to pick up their kids, it’s ok!

People might see me and think that I don’t understand, but I do. I was there not too long ago trying to juggle my new career as a young mother straight out of college. I talked about this at a Care to Gather dinner I hosted at my home with 65 incredible moms in New York. I don’t want to run a company the way men I observed ran a company. I decided I was going to change the culture and change the dynamics once I had an opportunity to found my own company.

We’re not going to judge women AND men when life stresses come up. We’re going to go define things differently in the companies that we run. That’s servant leadership to me.

How has it changed over time as you progressed in your career, and then became such a visible role model as a co-founder and CEO, and one of the first female founders to take a company public?

As I progressed in my career, my understanding and practice of servant leadership evolved significantly. Early on, as a young VP at 29, I struggled with empathy, often wondering why my team wasn’t working as hard as I was.

One day, after losing it in a meeting where I discovered my team had missed a deadline, the CFO and CTO at Upromise, both close mentors, took me out to lunch, sat me down, and told me that though I was high-performing, I was getting in my own way and I needed to chill out. Their message to me has become a mantra I repeat to this day - “be intense in outcomes, but be chill with people.” This shift helped me see the intrinsic value in others, recognizing that everyone, from my kids to my team, is the sum of their unique experiences and strengths.

Realizing I had been imposing unrealistic demands on others, I worked to create an environment where everyone could be their authentic selves. This enabled my co-founders to become CEOs and helped my team to assist millions of families and caregivers worldwide.

As one of the first female founders to take a company public, I became an advocate for the professionalization of caregiving and female entrepreneurship, highlighting the importance of valuing and supporting others as a leader.

You shared a video of your speech in which you discussed how you have, whether it's because of race or gender, been underestimated. How do you channel those biased – and I’m sure, frustrating – assumptions into something that is positive and meaningful?

I can't overlook the frustration and hurt in my career that came from being underestimated because of my race and gender. But the key lies in reprogramming the mindset. Instead of dwelling on how others value me, I concentrate on how I can add value to others. This means investing in self-awareness and developing a leadership style that impacts and inspires lives rather than simply impressing others.

I continue to channel my energy and experience into pursuing a mission I love and building a company on my own terms –compassion and empathy. With this mindset, any challenge can be an opportunity for growth.

In a conversation with McKinsey & Company, you discussed your struggles in your 20s managing a new career and being a new mother, and the importance of self-care. Toward the end, there was a line that struck me: “If you focus on serving others, and follow that North Star, it always serves you well.” Can you share more about what that means?

Having a clear purpose—a True North Star—provides a consistent point of reference. It helps navigate through uncertainties and keeps you grounded. For me, this purpose was rooted in the well-being of my family and the desire to create a positive impact in my professional field. This focus has allowed me to prioritize effectively, ensuring that my efforts were both meaningful and sustainable.

Supporting others in finding their True North has been a principle that I hold dearly. I encourage my mentees to find a purpose that will provide them with both motivation and fulfillment.

How does Servant Leadership manifest itself outside of your professional life and work

Outside of work, Servant Leadership is evident in how I engage with my family, friends, and community. It’s about being present, supportive, and compassionate in personal relationships. In my community, it involves volunteering, mentoring, and actively contributing to causes that matter to me. For instance, as a founding board member of The Asian American Foundation , I work towards advancing equity and inclusion for the Asian American community.

By applying the principles of Servant Leadership in all aspects of life, I strive to create a positive impact and foster a sense of connection and support among those around me. It’s a holistic approach that transcends the professional sphere and enriches every part of my life.