Striking the Balance! Husband and Wife Role Descriptions
Anita Wiafe
CEO/Founder of @omlafrica serving Africa & UK in the Humans at work Business •Human Resource Management | Executive Secretary eCAG
I was reflecting on the issue of work-life balance for married employees/couples. It dawned on me that there are initiatives to help employees balance in the workplace such as flextime, gym memberships, EAP etc. However, I was thinking what if you have the balance at work but not at home because there is no real formal roles and responsibilities descriptions between couples and as such one of the couple usually does more than the other. So I decided to write a role description for married employees/couples with the view that this may help with life-balance at home. If there is clearly agreed on roles and responsibilities in the home one person may not be left doing most of the duties and it may also help maintain a healthy balance in the relationship. So this sounded simple in my head and I started researching for information. To cut a long story short I decided what should be considered as soft skills and hard skills and came up with something. So I want to know what you think, should married employees/couples draw up a role description and if so what should be in it? Will formal roles and responsibilities help with life balance at home? See my suggested roles and responsibilities below and let me know what you think and what else you will add.
THE HUSBAND'S ROLE DESCRIPTION IN THE HOME
Soft skills
- Be God-fearing and go to church with the family and be prayerful
- Be a leader of the home
- Provide for the family independently
- Problem-solve home issues together with your wife
- Love your wife unconditionally.
- Be intimate with your wife, share dreams, aspirations, fears, hugs, kisses etc.
- Make love with your wife regularly
- Seeks consultation from wife on all major financing decisions.
- Follows through with commitments you have made to your wife
- Provides time for your wife to pursue her own personal interests.
- Don't try to change your wife but support her to improve areas of weakness where necessary
- Compliment your wife and tell me what you like about her
- Honour your wife in public and when with family
- Encourages your wife to grow as an individual
- Support your wife’s dreams and emotional needs
- Give wife an allowance
Hard skills
Chores (this can be delegated to home help’s, suppliers, artisans, assistants or done by yourself)
- Responsible for the mowing of the lawn and garden
- Manage the houseboy/maid/housekeeper
- Responsible for overseeing in electrical faults, switches failed bulbs, checks etc.
- Responsible for the maintenance of gas central heating/gas checks
- Responsible for the security of the house
- Responsible for overseeing that the pets are taken care off
- Responsible for overseeing plumbing, carpenter works
- Responsible for the satellite dish/cable payments
- Responsible for fumigation of the house
- Responsible for paying school fees
- Responsible for overseeing the maintenance of the car (s)
- Joint responsibility in doing the children’s homework
- Joint responsibility in organizing family outings
- Joint responsibility in making sure medical insurance is kept up to date
- Joint responsibility for family holidays
- Responsible for paying utility bills
- Any other duties that may come up in your area of responsibility
THE WIFE'S ROLE DESCRIPTION IN THE HOME
Soft skills
- Be God-fearing and go to church with the family and be prayerful
- Be a deputy leader
- Express your feelings and needs effectively.
- Make sure their food for husband’s stomach.
- Schedule making-love into your life.
- Be understanding when you discuss an issue with your husband
- Don't try to change your husband but support him to improve areas of weakness where necessary
- Meet your husband's needs without compromising your own.
- Be your husband's best friend.
- A desire for Home and Children
- Emotional Stability and Maturity
- Be supportive
- Be responsible for the household Administration
Hard skills
Chores (this can be delegated to home help’s, suppliers, artisans, assistants or done by yourself)
- Responsible for food shopping
- Responsible for cooking and making sure there is food in the house
- Responsible for making sure the house is clean and the maintenance of the interior decorations
- Responsible for making sure washing and ironing is done
- Responsible for making sure the house looks nice and presentable
- Responsible for making sure the children’s welfare is taken care off
- Joint responsibility in doing the children’s homework
- Joint responsibility in organizing family outings
- Responsible for making sure medical checks are done
- Joint responsibility in making sure medical/life insurances are kept up to date
- Joint responsibility for family holidays
- Responsible for buying children’s clothes, shoes etc.
- Joint Responsibility for ensuring the relationship between extended family are maintained
- Any other duties that may come up in your area of responsibility
A role description for married employees/couples may not solve the life-balance challenges in the home but its a good starting point.
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5yTotally agree ✔💯
General Manager Human Resources at Margins Group
5yWhat does it mean "to be the leader of the house"
General Manager Human Resources at Margins Group
5yI like it. I only think the role " Love your wife unconditionally" must be the number one as Christ put. Love is the greatest and if all other responsibilities fail, love never fails.
Chief Of Staff at IPSL Ghana Limited, Accra - Ghana
5ySome general job roles and responsibilities at home for couples to balance work life Having read your thoughts about creating job roles and responsibilities to aiding married couples in balancing home and work life, I am of the opinion that a general job role for couples would be the best and not necessarily or solely for the man or woman. This will rather bring confusion in the family. Instead, a general role for any of them in the house would rather help in reducing any rancour and stress, thereby, leading to the building of a meaningful home and work-life balance 1. The married couple should plan their work at home and collectively work the plan. For example, each should set aside 10 to 20 minutes at the beginning of each day or the night before to plan their tasks and activities for the day and evening ahead. 2. They should plan and take care of their health by:- a. Eating healthy food/meals. Collectively planning a good meal with the family once in a while will create a sense of belongingness and attachments with the children and family. b. Exercise at least 3 times a week, either at home or register with a wellness centre. We all need an outlet, maybe through jogging, hiking, fishing, basketballing, golf etc. This is mentally healthy as long as they are kept in a proper perspective. c. Sleep a minimum of 7 hours per night 3. They should refrain from excessive use of alcohol, tobacco, or any energy boosting drug to aid or gain time for time lost. 4. The couple should be able to build adequate time not only with their children but also with the family/relationship with: a. Family, trips once a while to their in-laws b. Friends, visits for invitations, birthdays, funerals, inaugurations, celebrations....etc. c. Loved ones. These are the greatest sources of inner satisfaction to any worker. 5. Establish boundaries and commit not to work outside these boundaries. For example, the couple should commit not to work late on certain days unless there is a crisis. Same as setting time at home during which any will not check or respond to work related mails or voice mails. 6. Make and find time for themselves. This is the area that most Ghanaians and for that matter, Africans don't pay much attention to. In the most developed nations, workers and fir that matter, married couples, plan and allocate a sizeable amount of their salaries to holiday excursions when they are on leave. They go out to places of interest and rest sufficiently, thus relieving the built-up stress in them The Ghanaian married couple/workers should collectively also do same by allocating some money for this purpose and plan ahead of time to collectively move out and spend some time off their home either alone or with the family. Vacation trips to Akosombo, Lome, South Africa, Malta etc helps very much to balance one's work-life relationship. 7. Hire a babysitting caretaker. A married worker should build a network of reliable and trustworthy caretaker for the children and build a healthy relationship that requires attention and work with the caretaker treating them well and with respect. The tendency of the woman treating the caretaker as a rival and the man taking due advantage of the absence of the wife to do the unthinkable, should be well discussed between the couples and firmly agreed on. Take notice that any outing should also include the caretaker to weed out any tendency of discrimination, a sense of "not part of the family" and ill-feeling towards the children Finally, collectively attend Church or any place of worship to have a spiritual revival or re-connection with their maker. Couples that plan and attend church once in a while reduces that perception of infidelity on both parties and creates good rapport and affection in each other. We are all created in God's image and that He has a purpose for our lives. Finding time to reconnect with Him creates an atmosphere of inner peace and tranquility in the couples way of thinking and builds a newer approach and God's strength, patience and wisdom to their married life. Having a separate job description for the man or woman is a recipe for desaster. A write up and opinion shared by Edem Kodjo Spinas Humado