Taught or Caught? Unlocking the Secrets to Leadership Qualities You Can't Learn in Books!

Leadership: What Can Be Taught and What Must Be Caught

Leadership is a lifelong journey, not a destination.

Over my 25 years in sales and leadership, I’ve come to realize that great leadership isn’t just about hitting quotas, closing deals, or managing teams—it’s about connection, trust, and the ability to inspire.

Recently, I had the privilege of discussing this with my friend and mentor, Richard Vickers , and the conversation left me reflecting deeply on what it truly means to lead.

Richard posed a question that stopped me in my tracks: What leadership qualities can be taught, and which ones simply can’t? This idea resonated deeply with me because I’ve spent years trying to balance the innate qualities I bring to the table with the skills I’ve learned along the way.

The Innate Traits of Leadership

Every leader brings something unique to the table. For me, traits like ambition, drive, and passion have always been natural. But Richard asked a powerful question: Can vision be taught, or is it something you either have or don’t?

He explained it beautifully: “Every great leader has to have vision. But can you teach someone how to have vision? I think about how some leadership qualities have to be caught, not taught. If I see someone leading with integrity, for example, and it’s not something I value inherently, can I catch that from them and work on it in my own life?”

This perspective struck a chord with me. Vision, integrity, and authenticity are often foundational to leadership, but they’re hard to teach in a classroom or a book. They’re caught—absorbed—through experiences, mentors, and relationships.

The Power of Emotional Intelligence

One of the most critical yet overlooked traits of leadership is emotional intelligence (EQ). Richard and I dove into this topic, and it became clear how pivotal EQ is in building trust and inspiring loyalty. He described it as “self-awareness and empathy” and reminded me that EQ allows us to recognize our own emotions and those of others—a skill that can elevate or cripple a leader’s effectiveness.

For years, I made the mistake of dismissing emotions—both my own and those of the people I led. When things went wrong, I’d say, “Let’s move on,” without acknowledging the feelings behind the failure. As a leader, a husband, and a father, I’ve learned that this approach doesn’t work. People process emotions differently, and if we don’t meet them where they are, we risk losing trust and connection.

Blind Spots and Lessons Learned

Richard reminded me of a critical truth: We all have blind spots. As young leaders, our ambition can sometimes outpace our awareness. “That’s why they call it blind ambition,” I quipped during our conversation. But blind spots don’t go away with experience—they just shift. The difference is that with time, we learn to recognize them and lean on others to help us navigate them.

Richard shared a piece of wisdom I’ll never forget: “Great leaders are those who are willing to learn from their failures and acknowledge when they’ve screwed up.” He shared a personal story about apologizing to his grandson for overreacting, and it was a powerful reminder that vulnerability and humility are strengths, not weaknesses. As leaders, we don’t need to be invincible. We need to be human.

Taught vs. Caught: Finding the Balance

While some leadership qualities may be innate, there are critical skills that can and must be taught. Communication and connection, for example, are skills every leader needs to develop. Richard shared a story about Warren Buffett, who once told a room of young leaders, “If I could instill two things in you, it would be to learn how to communicate and connect.”

This advice is golden. Over the years, I’ve found that asking the right questions—what motivates someone, what they want their legacy to be—can uncover everything you need to know to help them succeed. It’s not about impressing someone with how much you know. It’s about listening and understanding their “why.”

Leadership Through Connection

One of the most meaningful moments of our conversation was when Richard said, “At the end of the day, we’re human beings first, not human doings.” This simple truth speaks volumes. Too often, we get caught up in the tasks, titles, and metrics, forgetting that leadership is ultimately about people. It’s about recognizing the humanity in those we lead and striving to bring out their best.

For me, this means focusing less on what I’m doing and more on who I’m doing it for. It’s about creating trust, inspiring loyalty, and building a culture of collaboration. As I reflect on the leaders who’ve shaped me, it’s their willingness to connect, listen, and learn that stands out—not their credentials or achievements.

A Call to Action for Leaders

So, what does this mean for all of us striving to lead better? It means taking a hard look at our innate strengths and asking ourselves how we can sharpen them. It means acknowledging our blind spots and leaning on others to help us see what we cannot. It means focusing on connection and communication as the foundation of every relationship, whether with a team member, a client, or a loved one.

If you’re reading this as a young leader, take heart. Experience is the greatest teacher, and every failure is an opportunity to learn. If you’re a seasoned leader, don’t stop learning. Surround yourself with great leaders, and remember: the best leadership traits are often caught, not taught.

What leadership traits do you think are taught, and which ones are caught?

🔥 Key Takeaways from the Conversation:

1. Leadership Traits: Taught or Innate? Can vision, integrity, or emotional intelligence be truly taught, or are they traits we simply "catch" from being around great leaders? Richard introduces a powerful concept: “Some things in leadership must be caught, not taught.”
2. The Role of Vision in Leadership Vision is essential for every great leader—but is it teachable? My experience has sharpened my ability to anticipate challenges and "see around corners" as Mary Annette Brackin, MBA instilled in me.
3. Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and Empathy As leaders, emotional intelligence often makes the difference between success and failure. EQ—awareness of your own emotions and the emotions of others—is pivotal for building trust and inspiring loyalty.
4. Learning from Failure Young leaders often face pressure to appear invincible. Failing forward, being vulnerable, and seeking feedback from others aids our growth as leaders.
5. The Power of Connection and Communication Richard recalls a piece of timeless advice from Warren Buffett: Learn how to communicate and connect. Focusing on relationships and uncovering someone’s “why” can unlock incredible opportunities—both personally and professionally.
6. Blind Spots in Leadership We all have blind spots. Great leaders acknowledge their blind spots and rely on their team to help fill in the gaps.
7. Balancing Passion and Discipline While innate traits like drive, ambition, and passion are invaluable, fine-tuning those qualities with discipline, strategy, and experience transforms leaders from good to great.

Why This Conversation Matters:

Leadership isn’t just about hitting metrics or managing tasks—it’s about inspiring others, building trust, and making meaningful connections.

Leaders can strike a balance between innate traits and teachable skills to become well-rounded, impactful leaders.

In today’s world, young leaders often feel overwhelmed by the pressure to succeed. This video offers practical advice for navigating those challenges, whether it’s through developing emotional intelligence, building better relationships, or learning from failure.

Memorable Quotes from the Video:

💬 "Some leadership qualities have to be caught, not taught." – Richard Vickers

💬 "Focus on the connection, and everything else will take care of itself." – Carson Heady

💬 "We are human beings first, not human doings." – Richard Vickers

Practical Advice for Leaders:

🚀 For Young Leaders:

• Don’t fear failure—use it as a learning opportunity.
• Acknowledge your blind spots and seek feedback from your team.
• Focus on building trust and inspiring loyalty, rather than appearing invincible.

💡 For Seasoned Leaders:

• Revisit the fundamentals of leadership—vision, connection, and communication.
• Continue to learn and adapt, using your experience to guide others.
• Balance innate qualities like passion with teachable skills like strategy and time management.

Actionable Steps for Your Leadership Journey:

1. Reflect on Your Innate Traits: What are your natural strengths as a leader? What areas do you need to grow?
2. Identify Blind Spots: Ask for feedback from your team or peers to uncover areas where you may need improvement.
3. Focus on Connection: In your next interaction, ask someone about their “why”—what motivates them or what legacy they want to leave.
4. Balance Emotion with Strategy: Cultivate your emotional intelligence while staying focused on your long-term vision.
5. Be a Continuous Learner: Never stop learning from books, mentors, and experiences.

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