Three Ways To Do The One Counterintuitive Thing Top Leaders Say Is The Key To Success

When was the last time you failed?

If you're like most people, you'd rather not say, and instead, bury those shortcomings along with the feelings of shame, regret and embarrassment that often accompany them.

That's a big mistake, say top leaders, who suggest that embracing your failures is the key to success. And while this advice may seem counterintuitive, the trick is to shift your perspective. Here are three ways to reconsider the role of failure in your success:

1. Reframe failure as a necessity.

"Failure is not the opposite of success; it's part of success."

- Arianna Huffington

"Most people are more frightened of failure than of mediocrity. It should be the reverse. Failure is a broken leg — painful, but easily fixed. Mediocrity is a creeping disease — invisible and insidious — that disables so completely that there’s often no recovery."

- Dan Pink

Arianna Huffington knows that failure and success aren't mutually exclusive; they're connected. Entrepreneurs and business leaders use failure as fuel, maintaining grit and perseverance to keep going. And Dan Pink stresses that failure is nothing to be afraid of, as its pain is short lived. The mediocrity that fear breeds is far more troublesome and poses a more significant threat than failure ever could.

By reframing failure as an ingredient of success—rather than a negative alternative—you'll adjust your mindset to a more positive one where see failure as a necessity.

2. Take risks to grow.

“Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.”

- Oprah Winfrey

"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly."

- Robert F. Kennedy

Oprah Winfrey and Robert F. Kennedy agree: There is no growth in your comfort zone. To achieve personal and professional development, you must take risks—even if that means you might fail. When you muster up the courage and make a choice to take action, those risks become a chance to grow. By adopting a growth mindset, you view every interaction, every project, and yes, every failure as an opportunity to get better.

3. Make mistakes to learn.

"It's important to be willing to make mistakes. The worst thing that could happen is you become memorable."

- Sara Blakely

"Do not be embarrassed by your failures; learn from them, and start again."

- Richard Branson

Sara Blakely famously grew up with a father who asked her and her brother at dinner, "How did you fail today?" And Richard Branson failed in business numerous times, yet managed to prevail. These entrepreneurs understood that their ability to adapt to failures was vital and that a failure was only a mistake if you failed to learn.

Author and Stanford professor Tina Selig suggests that an excellent way to learn from mistakes is to create what she calls a "failure resume." In her book, What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20, she advises keeping a running list of all your biggest screw ups, including personal, professional and academic missteps. Selig stresses that this exercise isn't about what you did wrong; it's about what you learned. And as Selig reminds us, failure is just data; you need to mine it for the lessons.

Perhaps the best way to sum up the ideal response to failure is this, offered by Adam Grant:

"It's having the discipline to analyze your mistakes and the willpower to fix them. Success is going from failure to failure without failing to learn. Learning is refusing to fail the same way twice."

This article was first published on Forbes.com. Find it here.

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Amy Blaschka is a social media ghostwriter who helps leaders communicate and connect better. Contact her if you'd like her help.

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