THE TOP 5 REGRETS WHEN DYING

First off, most people don't think about the future enough and only reach a fraction of their true potential. Most people live in the past. Few people actually reverse engineer their life for success. You get exactly what you focus on. Where attention goes, energy flows.

Your mind is a weapon when you know how to use it correctly. Yet, many people go through life blind, hoping for the best outcomes without a clear picture of what the future holds. Before they know it, life happens, and they're too old to do what they wanted to do.

Most people wait until it's too late and end up with regrets of all the things they wish they would have done. 

I don't want that to be you.

So, I want to share something from a book, The Top Five Regrets of The Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing.

This book was written by Bronnie Ware. Bronnie spent several years working with patients with terminal illnesses. Through her work, she began to notice a pattern of regret. She wrote her book to help others avoid these regrets, which is why I want to share them with you.

HERE ARE THE TOP 5 REGRETS WHEN DYING:

REGRET #1: NOT HAVING THE COURAGE TO BE TRUE YOURSELF

One of the biggest regrets is living for other peoples' expectations. Even if other people impacted your beliefs about what life should be like, remember that it is still your life. It's vital to always focus on your dreams, not the dreams others have for you.

To avoid this regret and create a life that you love, focus on being tune into YOU. Be unapologetic about pursuing the things that speak to your soul. Express yourself fully and completely. Remember, you only get one shot to live the life you want.

Don't worry about judgment or expectations of others. Your dreams are on your heart for a reason. They are meant to be lived. It takes courage to live your dreams, yet you will find fullness on the other side. 

Nobody can decide what is best for you. Many will try, and they will all fail. It doesn't mean those misguided attempts don't affect us. It comes back to keeping your circle tight and choosing each member within it with careful consideration. 

A big objection that many people throw up in favor of not chasing all their dreams is that other things got in the way. These are usually things such as a career, starting a family, or even an injury. Sometimes we just don't believe in ourselves enough to pursue our dreams, or we allow other 'responsibilities' to get in the way.

Here's what I want you to understand. Following your dreams is not selfish. It may mean that you have more responsibilities than the average person if you have a family. It may mean you get to work harder if you have challenges that others don't. Nobody said life was supposed to be easy. It's not easy. Nothing worth doing will ever be easy. 

Living the life of your dreams is absolutely worth it.

REGRET #2: WORKING TOO HARD

Many of Bronnie's patients were breadwinners for their household and spent much of their lives working. They expressed regret for the amount of time they had spent working.

If you were to take a 30,000-foot view of your life right now, would you be experiencing the same thing? When we spend too much time on work and not enough time with family and loved ones, we are setting ourselves up for regret.

Understand that working fewer hours is not at odds with you achieving your goals. Yes, sometimes, a little hustle is required, yet your work does not need to run your life for you to be successful. 

To avoid this regret, you must work smart, not hard. 

Focus on a career that is part of your vision. It's vital to know what you are trying to achieve and why you are trying to achieve it. Your life's work will feel so much more meaningful when it is in alignment with your vision. Do not spend your life working at a job that you hate or makes you miserable, just to pay the bills. There are infinite ways to earn income in this world, and you are smart enough to find on that is in alignment with you.

The image of entrepreneurs or corporate bosses working long hours, day in and day out, is glamorized by movies and entertainment. It is not a real and sustainable pathway to success. Instead, it is a quick trip to burnout. 

Sometimes longer hours may be required. If you have a dream of making a considerable impact, your work very well might include some late nights. It is essential to choose this time with purpose and intention rather than allow them to dominate your time on this planet.

Also, please remember that your brain needs downtime to optimally support your goals. Relaxation, fun, joy, and peace are essential for your energy, well-being, focus, and productivity. Spend time enjoying the people that matter most. Celebrate your wins and respect your body. 

Spending time with those that you love can actually have the effect of boosting your energy when you do return to work. It may not seem like it in the heat of the moment when you have a lot of work-related pressure, yet taking a break to enjoy your family can lead to your biggest professional breakthroughs. 

Make yourself and those you love a priority. Even a quick phone call can do wonders for your mindset. You never know where you'll find inspiration. 

REGRET #3. NOT EXPRESSING FEELINGS

In her study, Bronnie found that people suppressed their feelings to keep peace with others. Do you do the same in your life?

Most of us don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or make them feel uncomfortable. The problem is that it leads to settling for a mediocre life. When we don't fully express ourselves, we never become the people we are capable of being. It can also lead to bitterness or resentment, which we don't want. 

To avoid this regret, you need to never hide your feelings with people, especially those you love most. Prioritize openness and honesty in your relationships, and you'll be rewarded with a stronger bond in return. Yes, even if you experience conflict because of your honesty, you'll discover greater trust and connection on the other side of working through that conflict.

Suppressing your emotions cannot lead to any positive outcomes. Just like if you shake a bottle of carbonated liquid, the pressure will always reach a breaking point and boil over or explode. 

A creative outlet can also be a powerful form of self-expression. Creativity allows us to express feelings that we may struggle to put into words. Sharing our creative expressions requires a certain level of vulnerability, which is powerful in itself. 

REGRET #4. NOT STAYING IN TOUCH WITH FRIENDS 

When was the last time you called an old friend or visited a family member?

Everyone misses their friends when they are close to dying. Often, we don't recognize the full benefits of old friends until we approach the end of our lives. You don't want to wait until it is too late to track your friend down.

To avoid this regret, stay in touch with those who matter most. Fortunately, social media makes it easier to keep in touch with friends, yet remember that nothing can replace a phone call or in-person connection.

Make an intention to connect with a friend every day. It can be a simple text message of appreciation or a short phone call. You can even send a letter or a card if you know their address. It would likely surprise them and make their day. 

Our connections are what keep us going. There's an old saying that describes it perfectly:

"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."

REGRET #5. NOT BEING HAPPIER

Too many people are not allowing themselves to be happy.

Make no mistake, happiness is a choice.

 It's common to feel caught in the stress of life. It can feel like a never-ending cycle of going to work, paying bills, and living for the weekend. Even if you feel like you are in this cycle, you can choose happiness now.

You don't have to stay stuck in old routines for the sake of comfort and familiarity. Don't let the fear of change keep you from living a life you love.

To avoid this regret, please remember that happiness is a choice. It's not something you get from buying something, it's a feeling that lives within you, even if your life isn't where you want it to be (yet.)

At the end of the day, you are 100% responsible for your life and your happiness. Choose to be happy, no matter where you are in life. If you're staying healthy, operating from your vision, and living from your values, everything will work itself out.  

Sure, you will have bad days, but don't make a bad day turn into a bad week, month, or year.

Know how to get yourself out of a funk and always choose to be happy. 

Don't forget, you only get one life. You get to make the most of it by choosing happiness so you can experience life to the fullest.

Surround yourself with good people who uplift you. Choose activities that leave your body feeling energized rather than drained. Quit that job you hate, drop the client who hassles you over little details. 

If you do find yourself getting caught in negative energy, stop what you're doing, and move your body. Drop and do 10 push-ups. Get outside and go for a short run or walk. Hit some weights. Do 10 jumping jacks. 

Movement is a great way to get out of your head and into your body, so you can return to any activity feeling more centered. There will inevitably be some moments where choosing happiness seems like the last choice you want to make. But you can take some action and distract yourself in a good way for a little bit. 

FINAL THOUGHTS

Think about the future… your legacy. 

Let me ask again… "What is the legacy you want to leave once your time is up on this planet?"

Is what you are doing today in alignment with that legacy? 

Remember, the more action you take, the more impact you can make.