Tuesday Takeaway: Newman, New You, New Plan

Failure. It's something that I've been doing a lot of thinking about lately.

It triggers a lot of different moods, behaviours and emotions.

Failure and FUD

My dad first introduced me to the concept of FUD which fits rather appropriately here.

I'm afraid to fail, afraid when I fail, afraid of the consequences of my failure.

When I fail, I doubt myself. I further doubt my chances of recovering.

Lastly: failure makes me and everything around me feel deeply uncertain.

All this FUD isn't very good for me, for you, for anyone. It can produce an almost paralyzing effect upon our sense of wellbeing, impact our confidence, and lead to all kinds of unwelcome effects.

This is especially true if you're someone dealing with things like depression, anxiety, and other traumas. We're all affected by failure in different ways and therefore cope with it according to our own unique perspectives, environments and other circumstances. I've noticed in my own experiences that there's also a kind of weird shame factor that goes along with the processing of failure, as in ---

Why am I getting so upset about this? I should just get over it!

Or

I failed so hard. I'm a terrible person.

Whereas guilt is the conscience within us prompting us to feel a correct sense of remorse, shame when it comes to failure does two things: it creates a sense of hopelessness --- irretrievable correction and it transposes our failure onto us in such a way that it dehumanizes us.

Not good.

Once We Understand, We Can Plan

Understanding failure and learning how to deal with it has therefore become a priority goal for yours truly. Fortunately I'm not alone --- and neither are you, awesome readers! We have Dan Newman with us for this epic quest.

One of the best investments we can make in life is finding and learning from those around us about how they've dealt with the things we're having a difficult time with. Often we'll feel vulnerable at this point, disengaged from our normal flow, but this enables us to be completely authentic with that person - a mentor, a friend, and say: "Hey, I'd appreciate some feedback on this.".

Failure Happens, and So Does Success

Not every story is a tragedy, and yours is likely still being written as you read these words. Engagement, that which keeps us going as the fuel in our engine, is substantially powered by our own sense of self-love and determination. We got this!