Understanding the depth of our humanity.

The series “The Bear” has been a breakout hit in our household (and in the world of television). Beyond being a great story about entrepreneurship and cooking (two things I happen to identify closely with), the series reflects so much of what we at idealis believe to be true and needed in the world. 

The characters are portrayed in the most human way - from the close up videography showcasing faces and emotions, to the sounds and lights that set the context of where the scenes are being filmed, to the pithy and awkwardly intimate conversations happening between people at work. The directors masterfully build connections to every character - and between every character - in a way that makes you feel like you’re a fly on the restaurant wall, learning about their lives and experiences. 

The plot is simple but the storylines are profoundly complex. This isn’t just about a talented chef opening a restaurant in Chicago, it is about a human being enduring an inner battle about his worth, his purpose and his value in the world. It’s about human resilience and the capacity that we all have to withstand the many unexpected events that we face. It’s about human connection and the reliance on one another to achieve our aspirations - individually and collectively. And, my personal favorite - it’s about unlocking our human potential, by believing in ourselves, and believing in one another. It’s about leadership. It’s about us. 

My favorite character is Marcus, a young Black man who found his way into the kitchen after working several odd jobs and discovered a love, passion and talent for baking. The depth of his character is revealed when he is shown sitting with his ailing mother, who is breathing through a respirator. In one scene, in a dark room, he gently rubs her hands with lotion while telling her about his day, showcasing the tenderness that he has within - the same tenderness he uses to place a small flower as a garnish on a delicately prepared dessert. The chefs see his talent and potential and send him to Copenhagen to study under a renowned pastry chef, who takes him in as an apprentice with patience and understanding. And kindness. 

In the early hours of the morning, the chefs each describe how they came to their craft - two men with different skin tones, accents and life stories. One, with a troubled upbringing that led to a dishwashing role and exposure to the life of a restaurateur from which he never looked back- the other with an athletic scholarship and college career, who upon graduation lacked direction, needed a job and was left responsible for caretaking of his ill mother. Both having the grit and tenacity to work hard to become the best they can be. Both seeking inspiration and having the good fortune to work alongside someone who believed in them, and gave them a chance. 

The episode caused me to wonder how much depth and texture we fully embrace and understand about ourselves and each other at work, as well as how many opportunities we are missing to connect on this level. 

When we see success, we often point to the obvious - the pedigree, the experience, the skills that one has. But the human side of our success is far more nuanced. It is about our origin stories, what we have faced in life, what we have learned through the successes and failures, the fears that we have, the joy that we seek, the people we’ve met along the way.

Having studied and observed human behavior in the classroom and boardroom, we know that understanding who a person is, and predicting what a person will do goes far beyond their resume and career experiences. In client conversations, we often talk about how and where Boards and Management Teams go wrong in their process to appoint people into positions of power. The same conversation has happened between our team and clients who are looking to hire a new CEO, build a bench of talent, develop their leaders who are in a role, or improve the culture or team dynamics in an organization. 

Clients who work with us express frustration in making decisions based on what is obvious. They are tired of asking questions that yield answers that are expected and accepted. They are looking for a partner who can go one level deeper. They know that the edge they need to run their businesses effectively and sustainably is a human edge. Our clients have learned, through trial and error, that what lies beneath is what differentiates us, and they want the skills and techniques to dig a little deeper to learn more about the people they hire and work with. They also have learned, often the hard way, that things can go wrong when we don’t fully understand one another. 

We have to be willing to pay attention, with intention, to each other and to ourselves to truly understand the depth of our humanity. 

One of the best scenes from Season 2 of The Bear is when Chef Marcus comes across a biker who is stuck under a fence, calling for help. Marcus demonstrates hesitation - not to help the man, but on how to help the man. He uses his physical strength to lift a large metal fence off of the man to free him. The two men clearly speak different languages, and no one is communicating in words. Only a streetlight illuminates the whole incident - even the common facial cues we rely on to make sense of the world were absent. 

At the end of the scene, the man gets up, bloodied face, and wraps his arms gently around Marcus. As he starts to walk away, the man pats Marcus on the head, gets back on his bike, and rides away. What that scene says about humanity requires no words. It’s what lies beneath. 

When we look at candidates that we are hiring, or colleagues that we are collaborating with,  or people that we are leading, we can over fixate on the obvious and resist taking a pause to understand that very human side of all of us. 

It’s scary. What lies beneath may not even be known to us. How well do most of us know our own fears, dreams, aspirations and limitations? Turns out - not very well. In our podcast episode with John Dick , titled “The Nuance of Human Decisions”, John shares how his team at Civic Science draws on intuition and empathy to bring balance to data interpretation and how this can help predict people’s reactions to something better than people can for themselves.

If we don’t know ourselves, how can we possibly know each other? What battles are we fighting? What are the life priorities we are balancing? What is holding us back? What is keeping us going? What are we afraid of? What gives us hope? What brings us joy? 

Whether we know it or not - the answers lie within us, and they’re worth uncovering.

Some might say - but at work, none of this should matter because people just need to do their jobs. They can talk to their therapist about all of this later, or call their HR person if they need some kind of leave of absence or employee assistance. 

Still others might say - at work is exactly where we need to talk about all of this, because it is what lies beneath and can help or prevent us from doing our jobs.

But most leaders will say - whether we like it or not, as leaders we are dealing with these types of questions all the time. We just aren’t taught or prepared on how. We aren’t trained to lead with humanity, or given the crash course on creating the conditions for more human-centered leadership around us. 

Most leaders don’t debate whether they should seek to understand themselves and the humans they work with. Rather, they struggle with how to better understand themselves and the humans that they work with.

As one chef on the show shared when reflecting on his own journey to becoming an expert and realizing he is not the best, and will never be the best, but needs to keep trying: “I think at a certain stage, it becomes less about skill and more about being open. To the world, to yourself, to other people.” 

Most leadership trainings prepare leaders with the skills to lead, but the differentiator is about being open to seeing, learning and understanding ourselves, and being curious about the world and people around us. 

We know it’s hard to have these in-depth conversations about our own humanity at work. Beyond helping companies create cultures that are human-centered, we have been helping leaders be more in tune with themselves and the people around them. It is not just a skill - it’s a mindset. And it can be learned and honed with practice and resources. 

In an effort to provide leaders with a resource to stay attuned to the world and people around us, we’ve launched a new product with CivicScience called the “Pulse of the U.S. Workforce.” On a monthly basis we are going to share what we are seeing and hearing about the needs, feelings, fears and desires of the U.S. workforce, surveying thousands of people representing the diversity of industries, sectors and people that comprise the U.S. workforce. We’ll be asking workers about their trust in companies, their relationships at work, and how they feel about work personally, keeping a pulse on the real human experience of the U.S. workforce and sharing what we learn with you. And on a quarterly basis, we’ll dig into a specific topic that matters in and outside of work, giving leaders the information they may need to deepen their understanding of the human experience with this data in their hands. 

It is a way for us to feed what we see as a core tenet of human-centered leadership: curiosity. The report is designed for leaders who have the desire and capacity to learn, explore and deepen their understanding of what is going through the hearts and minds of humans at work. It will give leaders information they can interpret and act on, helping them to be agile in their leadership while navigating through the context that we are all leading in today. It is designed to be news you can use.

Here is what we know: the most successful and satisfied leaders lead with a level of curiosity that sits on the extreme end of a normal curve. They seek to understand themselves, which helps them to remain centered and balanced when faced with uncertainty. And they apply it to understanding the people and context around them, which helps them to connect, empathize and strategize. They are unafraid to explore the depths of our shared humanity. It’s the very thing that unlocks human - and business - potential. 

We invite you to learn more about our Pulse of the U.S. Workforce reports and join our community of human-centered leaders seeking to make work and the workplace better. We hope this inspires you to be open minded and courageous to go one level deeper in your understanding of the people who work with and around you. You never know what you’ll learn.