When the small thing should be sweated (if that's even a word)

Don't sweat the small things. In management training you hear that a lot. I mean, often. Or is it a fair amount? 

That's the point. Whether I wrote "a lot," or "often" or "a fair amount" or a million other things doesn't matter. It's a small thing, and, I shouldn't sweat it. Right?

Well, kind of. You see, life is about the relationships you build. Think about your major milestones, or at least the ones people celebrate: graduation (at every level), marriage (sometimes divorces, too), birthdays, retirements, and more. At each milestone, we gather together and celebrate, or mourn, the beginning or end of a relationship. So our life is about our relationships.

Our business and our own professional lives are all about our relationships as well. Again, think about the milestones: Starting a new job, winning a contract, completing a contract, acquisitions, capital investments, structured finance, expansion, retirement, and more. At each milestone, we gather together and celebrate, or mourn, the beginning or end of a relationship. And as I finish my MBA and complete my 20 year military career, I was astonished at how much of the business world revolves around relationships. Think about it, Manufacturer A is the cheapest firm, but he really ticked off Purchaser Z, so Purchaser Z refuses to do business with Manufacturer A. So, our business and our professional lives are all about our relationships.

I bring all of this up because I keep hearing about not sweating the small things. But, I am reminded of what my marriage counselor told my wife and I during pre-marital counseling: Do not ignore the small things. Imagine you're about to celebrate your 50 year marriage to your husband/wife. The way he/she would talk while brushing their teeth was cute 50 years ago. Today it aggravates you to the point that you cringe at just the thought of it. Over time, those idiosyncrasies that we found cute once upon a time become annoying, then they become outright anger-provoking, rage-nuggets. (Yes, I made up the term rage-nugget, it just popped in my head)

In our personal life, we have to find ways of addressing those small things early so that they don't become rage-nuggets. But the same is true in our professional lives. If your coworker leaves coffee to burn in the pot, and the smell annoys you, say something (politely!). Talking early saves relationships!

I had a subordinate complain to me about a coworker.  He smelled, and in the desert-heat environment we were in, it was just unbearable. I talked to the guy and it turned out that he had no sense of smell. In the new environment, he did not know his deodorant was not strong enough and he needed the feedback from us to prompt him to change deodorants. We never had a problem with him again. Should my subordinate talked to him first?  Absolutely, and so my next conversation was with the complainer about handling things at their level (and explaining that some embarrassments could have been reduced, etc). 

In both cases, small things were impacting the relationships, which were starting to impact the mission. The smell was impacting one person from doing their job, and the unwillingness of the complainer to speak out created embarrassment and damaged the relationship of the two coworkers. Left unchecked, either situation would eventually turn into resentment, disgust and even anger.

I've said all of this so that you take a look at you professional and business relationships. Don't be the one who lets a minor annoyance turn into a resentment that now hampers your mission. Looking up above, in the example of the Purchaser using a different Manufacturer, those resentments hurt the company overall, just like a resentment in a marriage hurts that relationship in the long run. But, it's never too late to work on repairing those relationships, personal and professional!