Why It's Impossible to Separate Personal Life from Work—and How I Strive to Cope

As much as we strive to separate our personal and professional lives, achieving a complete separation is nearly impossible. Life is complex, and our emotions, experiences, and external events inevitably spill over into our work, no matter how hard we try to compartmentalise.

The Reality of Overlapping Worlds

We live in a society that often pushes us to maintain a rigid separation between our personal and professional lives. The idea is that individual issues should be left at the door when you enter the workplace, and work stress should stay at the office when you leave. However, this notion overlooks the fact that we are holistic beings. Our minds and bodies don't automatically switch off personal concerns just because we're at work. Similarly, work-related stress doesn't magically disappear when we return home.

For example, suppose you're dealing with a personal crisis, such as a family illness or relationship issues. In that case, it's only natural that these concerns will affect your mental and emotional state. This can, in turn, impact your focus, productivity, and interactions at work. Conversely, work stress can affect your personal life, leading to burnout, strained relationships, and diminished well-being.

The Importance of Acknowledging This Reality

Acknowledging that it's impossible to keep personal life entirely separate from work is the first step towards managing this overlap effectively. Denying the impact of personal issues on work can lead to increased stress, feelings of guilt, and even burnout. It's essential to accept that sometimes, life will get in the way of work, and that's OK.

Strategies for Maintaining Mental Health

While it's impossible to create a perfect barrier between work and personal life, there are strategies you can adopt to manage the impact of personal issues on your professional life. Here's how you can maintain your mental health while staying open and balanced:

Prioritise Self-Care

   - Regular self-care is crucial for managing stress and maintaining mental health. This includes physical activities like exercise, sufficient sleep, a balanced diet, and emotional self-care, such as meditation, journaling, or simply relaxing and unwinding.

Set Boundaries

   - While complete separation isn't possible (unless you are in a programme such as Severance on Apple TV,) setting clear boundaries between work and personal life can help minimise the overlap. For example, I set specific times for checking work emails and staying with them or creating a dedicated workspace at home to separate work from personal space. I have half an hour every day in the diary, which, if I need to, I use for continued work, and if I do not, I can work on my own LinkedIn website, etc.; doing things for you does not necessarily mean removing yourself from society, it can mean creating things that enable your growth in work or out of work.

Communicate Openly

   - If personal issues are affecting your work, it's essential to communicate with your manager or colleagues. You don't have to divulge all the details, but being open about what you're going through can lead to understanding and support from your team. They can offer flexibility or assistance to help you manage work and personal challenges.

Practice Mindfulness

   - Mindfulness techniques can help you stay present and focused, reducing the impact of external stressors on your work. Practices like deep breathing, meditation, or short breaks throughout the day can help you manage emotions and maintain clarity.

Seek Support

   - Don't hesitate to seek professional help if you struggle to cope. A therapist or counsellor can provide you with strategies to manage stress and maintain a healthy balance between work and personal life. Many workplaces also offer Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) that provide confidential counselling and support services. This is one of the scariest things I have done; speaking to someone and opening myself to vulnerability takes huge courage and a long time; it's not the answer for everyone. However, it is worth trying, and if it's not for you or at the right time, that is OK!

Be Kind to Yourself

   - It's essential to be gentle with yourself during challenging times. Recognise that you're doing your best and that having off days is OK. Self-compassion can go a long way in maintaining your mental health and resilience. I have been terrible at this; being kind to myself has not been the go-to move. However, sometimes simply turning off your phone for a few hours is kindness enough; interpret kindness how you see it works for you (What's that phrase? "You Do You" is one of the many phrases I can't stand by the way 😊.)

Conclusion: Embrace the Overlap

Trying to keep your personal life completely separate from work is not only unrealistic but can also be harmful to your mental health. Instead, I would like to encourage you to embrace that life is interconnected and focus on practical strategies to manage this overlap. By prioritising self-care, setting boundaries, communicating openly, and seeking support, you can maintain your work performance while caring for your mental well-being. Remember, it's OK to be human, and it's OK to ask for help when you need it.