20 things guys do that are actually major turn-ons

Everyone is attracted to different qualities in a potential partner...

...but I think we can all agree that there are some general ones that most of us love and. The qualities vary, but what stays the same is that they all make us swoon a little.

Here are 20 of some of the biggest turn-ons in a guy.

When he supports you

It doesn't matter what you do, and you can be totally crazy for whatever venture you're after. He's going to support you through it all, so long as you're not hurting anybody.

When he shares and shows his love language(s)

Maybe it's cooking for you, maybe it's actual communication or physical touch. Whatever it is, he's open about his love languages with you and shows them with his actions with the hopes you'll do the same.

When he befriends your friends and family

They don't have to like each other, but it's always a bit of a bonus when your man gets along with your friends or family. The family can be chosen or blood, but if he's even making attempts, keep him.

When he checks up on you

It's always nice to get a little "how's your day going?" message. Granted, there are times when this can be overdone, but if you're actually developing or in a relationship, this is totally sweet.

When he's funny

And I don't mean ha-ha funny, I mean really, truly funny. If you can make me laugh, you're already halfway to my heart. I don't know anyone on Earth who doesn't like funny people. It's like people saying they don't like music.

When he knows how to handle his alcohol or doesn't drink

Sloppy men aren't cute. I don't know anyone (aside from sexual predators) who sees a guy who can barely talk or stand and thinks, "Wow, that guy is extraordinary." Men who can keep themselves together, know their limits, or don't drink at all, stand high above the rest.

When he's a goofball

I don't mean Dane Cook style, over the top goofball. I mean silly, doesn't take life too seriously goofball. Life is too short not to joke around and laugh things off (within reason, of course).

When he's got an intersectional mind

I literally melt out of my chair if a guy understands intersectionality. I immediately want to take them home, get them right in the bedroom, and talk ideologies and politics with them all night long.

When he's genuinely empathetic

Men who care about animals and other people are the hottest. Empathy can be immensely painful and heavy, and men who oppose the toxic masculinity that tells them emotions are weak, are rare and beautiful gems that must be protected. There are few traits, either romantically or platonically, that are as important as empathy.

When he's Mr. Independent

I turn-tail if a guy is too controlled by his friends and family. I'm all for people loving and valuing their friends and family, but sometimes it's a little too much. I don't want to mess around with someone who might not like me tomorrow because his bitter friend or close-minded parents decided I'm no good. People who take charge and do their own thing are monumentally more attractive. Plus, independent thinkers allow you to more easily create healthy spaces away from one another as well.

When he's passionate, driven, and motivated

"I love men who have no plans with their life and are completely okay with where they're at right now," said no one ever. I'm not saying men have to be obsessed with work, but a little interest might be nice. Partners are supposed to push each other to be better and it's hard to do that with someone who has no fire for themselves.

When he's open-minded

Open-minded guys are the best because the possibilities are endless. Whether that be eating new food, watching new TV shows, traveling to new places, or even trying new things in the bedroom. Conversely, with men who are close-minded, you may not get them to try anything new.

When he's NOT femmephobic

Little is more attractive than a man who couldn't care less about masculinity or how his gender is perceived by others. The opposite—i.e. men who fear doing anything that society labels as feminine—are so sensitive and fragile that they quickly lose any charm that they had in the first place. No one should care what people think about their gender, nor should men be perpetuating femmephobia when it has done and continues to do incalculable damage to the world. At the end of the day, men who are themselves without fear are more attractive.

When he teases

Teasing is one of the hottest things a guy can do. I'm not talking about sexual teasing, at least not specifically. I'm talking about when a guy reads you or makes fun of you in a coy and playful way that's just asking for a sassy remark in return. There's just something about a guy that knows how to tease that really revs my engine.

When he knows how to communicate

Everyone knows communication is the key to any good relationship, but not everybody knows how to communicate. Whether it’s actually sharing stories instead of giving one word answers or really bringing up every time he has an issue, there’s nothing sexier than a guy who knows how to communicate.

When he shows you he's thinking of you

Sometimes it’s nice to be thought of. Sometimes we also don’t realize what he’s paying attention to, so when he gives you a book you mentioned you wanted or cooks a meal you’d noted was your favorite, it just reminds you how special you are to him.

When he takes care of you when you're sick

No one likes to be alone when they’re not feeling good, and sometimes people leave you high and dry because they don’t want to get sick themselves. While that’s understandable, especially after COVID, it’s still cute when he makes you soup or walks your dog for you, just to help you out.

When he does something spontaneous

Relationships can get boring, and sometimes it’s fun to spice things up and try something different. Maybe he’ll plan a weekend getaway behind your back or pick you up from work to take you to your favorite dinner place. It’s always fun to find someone who likes to go with the flow, at least some of the time.

When he wants to see the world

There’s so much to learn from traveling and experiencing other cultures is a great way to grow as a person, and any man who wants to go out and do that as much as possible is a man who turns me on. It serves intellect, adventure, and life experience all at the same time, and it will always give you something to talk about.

When he knows how to compromise

Sometimes arguments are silly and unavoidable. If he (and you!) know how to compromise, it’s just sexy.

BONUS: When he has an accent or speaks a different language

This is just a bonus, but, I mean… who isn’t turned on by this?