Bringing children into a disintegrating environment used to be a theoretical fear. Now it’s a very real one

It is the worst, most-cut-your-nose-off-to-spite-your-face holiday we human beings have been stupid enough to come up with

The Doomsday Clock says we’re no closer apocalypse than we were a year ago – but we’re no farther away, either

We’ve been eating genetically modified organisms for decades. The best we can do now is cross our fingers and hope that they turn out to be relatively harmless

I’d suggest recreating the game without helmets instead, but that’s not going to happen, so we should all just channel our primal bloodlust elsewhere

Mr Trump’s exam showed only positive results. I would even describe them as ‘astonishingly excellent’, if you’ll allow me to use technical medical terminology

A clash between Trump supporters and a Black Lives Matter protester in Alabama is a reminder of the toxicity of the ‘all lives matter’ slogan

When it rains, especially in cities, many people carrying umbrellas become walking eye poking hazards. Don’t be one of those people

It’s mid-autumn in New York. The fact that my wife and I are being woken up every night by mosquitoes in our bedroom is legitimately a sign of apocalypse

Trolls fabricate beliefs to elicit anger or upset from their targets. Everything I write is in good faith, and as true as I can make it

The University of Mississippi’s removal of the state flag from campus will hopefully help future college students think twice about what it means

It’s hard to watch my beloved sport when it’s constantly promoted by a bad song – a new one each year! – that’s played ad infinitum

Now that we know that there is water on Mars, will it soon be accepted knowledge that octopuses trace their evolutionary roots back to the planet?

I can’t wait to be able to complain about snow and ice and everyone’s stupid big giant Canada Goose parkas again

It was the presidential candidate’s suggestion that we reject United States customary units that swung me aboard the Chafee-in-’16 Express

Men that insist that they and they alone can man the barbecue are hewing to outdated caricatures. Just follow a few rules so that I don’t have to take over

Companies now use ‘voice analysis’ software to determine whether to hire us. And, once we’re employed, to predict if we’ll stay

People starve to death every year – not to get closer to God but because of lack of food. It makes when you sacrificed sweets for Lent look kind of gross

Spring has arrived, finally. Too bad the melting snow is reminding us that dog droppings are everywhere

Once they get too big, you can’t talk to anyone, some people order more than all the others and no one can ever do the math. Let’s call it a night