The freedom to hold whatever religious convictions we like adds to David Mitchell's confusion about what the hell is going on

The problem with making choices is, David Mitchell says, we're responsible when our selections turn out to be rubbish

If you're forever checking whether you're living in the moment, how can you live in the moment, asks David Mitchell

They're odd, the social signals we often feel compelled to act out for the benefit of strangers

David suggests that rather than re-bury Richard's remains, we should make a feature of him. Polish him up, pop a crown on him

It's a peculiar phenomenon, this whole obsession with obtaining a celebrity's autograph. David attempts to understand it

If you use the phrase, 'I wouldn't have minded, but ...', you almost certainly do mind. And that gets on David Mitchell's wick

Your friend's recently gone bankrupt. So is it still OK to let him buy you a drink, asks David Mitchell

It's not historical inaccuracies of Downtown Abbey's second series that are exercising David. It's the crazy plotting and characterisation

Is it too late to stop the expression 'going forward' becoming mainstream? It's somehow made its way into our normal language, rather than just being something that awful management-speak people say

David Mitchell – he's the kind of guy that would stand a good chance of getting into Mensa, right? Well, that's a good reason not to join

Personal taste is an odd thing. In certain circumstances it's deemed fine to agree to disagree with someone

As a nation we are often criticised for being standoffish, but David Mitchell thinks this is a source of pride and a wonderful thing

David Mitchell rather likes Marmite, which doesn't fit into the strict love-hate dichotomy that its marketing team have somehow managed to turn into some weird proverb

Is it blindly optimistic to call the internet a challenge to the print industry, asks David Mitchell

David wonders how gangster movies ended up being considered art. Sure, The Godfather is brilliant. But it has a lot to answer for

This week David is coming to us from a murky red planet to rant about the meaning of 'great' in Great Britain

Getting people off the phone. It's a nightmare, isn't it? And phone calls aren't much fun anyway. They're like going for a coffee without the coffee

In last week's Soapbox, David claimed that the dearth of ready-to-order buttons and order-memorising waiters was what he'd most like to change about eating out. Correction: he forgot about tasting/sniffing the wine

This week David turns his attention to ordering in restaurants. But rather than ranting about it, he has a brilliant idea