Mrs Cameron's diary Pages from the diary of Samantha Cameron, as seen by Catherine Bennett
Mrs Cameron’s Diary: Tbh leaving Downing Street is quite #sadface As seen by Catherine Bennett From WebCameron and Govey on the bongos to the big society and non-stop bantz with the Clarksonator, we never stopped doing literally genius things
Mrs Cameron’s Diary: Dave’s memoirs are all chagrin. But all I want is shagreen Mrs Cameron's Diary Hilto, treachery, Govey, communist – yes, it’s genius darling, but I think what brand Cameron really needs is this £2,500 tote bag
Mrs Cameron’s diary: So Mummy’s all like, what IS Dave going to do now? As seen by Catherine Bennett I’m like, could he not do some PR for you? Because *ashamed face* tbh I’m not sure Dave’s brand is totally *right* for mine, synergywise?
Mrs Cameron’s diary: OMG Lord JCB’s gone all Brexit. Can Dave fix it? As seen by Catherine Bennett Nancy’s like, Mother, the Bamfords are voting leave. I’m like, after all those HOURS in the putrid spa
Mrs Cameron’s diary: Dave’s like, we need another hairy wart for remain As seen by Catherine Bennett If you can source another proletarian face of the campaign, fine. If not, Al is coming over with Saddo – that’s my nickname for Sadiq
Mrs Cameron’s diary: Dave’s like ta-da! But is my new Micra really non-Brexit? As seen by Catherine Bennett Non-U won’t do for Govey, Garridge, Johnson, the traitor Hilton and the rest of the lounge and toilet gang. Non-Brexit and Brexit is just so much more NOW
Mrs Cameron’s diary: the battle of Brexit comes down to Kelly Hoppen v Govey As seen by Catherine Bennett Mrs Govey won’t be smiling after the post-referendum #revengereshuffle. With Bill Nighy on board remain looks totes unbeatable
Mrs Cameron’s Diary: Project Fear’s next targets will be cellulite, ghosts and fomo As seen by Catherine Bennett After Dave’s Nigeria gaffe, Nancy wants to get Project Fear totes back on track
Mrs Cameron’s Diary: Poor Zac still totes deserves huge respect As seen by Catherine Bennett Dave’s like, I’ve let Zac down, I’ve let London down. Worst of all, I’ve let the whole school down
Mrs Cameron’s Diary: This means war, Judas Govey As seen by Catherine Bennett Dave’s discovered WhatsApp, although he needs Nancy’s help to actually use it
Mrs Cameron’s Diary: Boho pyjamas for Obamas: #totesapprope As seen by Catherine Bennett Govey’s Brexit glasses are almost *a thing* fashwise so Rosie’s given me top Coachella tips
Mrs Cameron’s Diary: is #Panama tax stuff or are our witty sayings notebooks at risk? As seen by Catherine Bennett Dave’s like chill babes, but the Bank of England job is not for Mummy, despite the hamsters
Mrs Cameron’s diary: Mummy’s like, so was it you, the Panama thing? As told to Catherine Bennett A big dead cat had to land on a table to stop Petronella. Nancy says Panama is even worse
Mrs Cameron’s Diary: God – He’s cool with Corbyn in a shellsuit As seen by Catherine Bennett Lanzarote was ruined by those steelworkers in Wales, but not before Dave had some divine inspo
Mrs Cameron’s Diary: humble Pringles? So last year As seen by Catherine Bennett We’ve just landed in Lanzarote and Dave has had his best thought literally EVER
Omigod NYC is totes a break from Brexit As seen by Catherine Bennett Dave’s a bit sadface coz the New York tastemakers don’t seem to care about him and his whole Euroey migrationy thing
Mrs Cameron’s Diary: I’m, like, David Hare – does he model M&S undies? As seen by Catherine Bennett Dave’s *throws copy of Guardian across room* this one is literally toasterama – he says I am a snob and puts it all in PLAYS at our subsidised National Theatre
Mrs Cameron’s diary: Bring on the Nazi zombies #projectfear :)) As seen by Catherine Bennett Totes looking forward to this but Nancy keeps vetoing all my great ideas
Mrs Cameron’s Diary: Sarah’s like, hey bff - can we have Govey’s bongos back? As seen by Catherine Bennett Being chucked by the Johnsons, whatevs. Having to kiss Mr Lebedev’s naked foot, I do not care. But the Goveys?
Mrs Cameron’s Diary: OMG it’s Boris! Must run and flatter him As seen by Catherine Bennett Ever the upstager, it’s SUTBW (Sucking Up to Boris Week) and Nancy’s dangling a complimentary world cruise
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