Not just one but two ‘outre’ notions hit Borsetshire courtesy of vet nurse Paul and his boyfriend, Dull Etienne. Plus, Alice pleads not guilty to dangerous driving

Three near-drownings and a dodgy sewage virus in Ambridge this month, and all the horses are dying off, too. So Much Plot

Oh dear – Ms Carter, née Aldridge, had been flourishing and off the drink. But after a sexual slip, she succumbed to the siren call of a bottle

Lovers Alistair and Denise are busily smooching in every corner of the veterinary surgery, but it looks unlikely to end well. And will George Grundy stop being grumpy about TikTok?

Violent gangs! Attacks by American XL bullies! Posh boy Harry caught by cops having a drunken slash! This rural radio show is humdrum no more

Even death hasn’t stopped him from ruining Helen’s life. Meanwhile, Peggy Woolley’s cat is causing mayhem

The Christmas canine crisis looks set to usher in a most exciting new relationship – plus the hottest man in Ambridge becomes so unhinged he buys a pony

Ambridge’s villain in chief finally meets his maker, draining a fair bit of colour from the village. But there’s a bright side: Adil found some bargain kitchen gear

Helen Archer’s ex continues his mind games, having returned from his death bed – just when we thought we were safe

It happened over toasted marshmallows in the moonlight – and it was rather lovely. If only radio kisses weren’t quite so loud

Evil Rob Titchener is looking down at the gates of hell, much like Mozart’s antihero, and many at Bridge Farm can barely conceal their delight

There were threats, pleas for sympathy and a dramatic collapse from Evil Rob – but it barely got the other patrons’ teacups tinkling

It’s only a small step from ‘beating the bounds’ to full-on Wicker Man – and Clarrie and Susan certainly have the skills required

The villagers are glamming up for Eurovision – but will the return of Rob Titchener cast a pall on festivities?

This month, Beckettian shop buddies Justin and Jim are due a reckoning and Brian speeds beyond his wife’s death quicker than you can say ‘Jenny darling’

As Ambridge reeled from her death, it’s no wonder the catering went awry. Thank goodness one of the village’s star bakers had been busy ahead of time

Isn’t it strange that we can become so fond of invisible characters made of vibrations in the air? As Ambridge loses one of its patron saints, I mourn deeply – and I cannot be alone

Will Borsetshire’s ace sleuths Rex and Kirsty be able to crack the mystery of the illicit hanky panky in the woods?

It’s not even Christmas and the troubled Archer family are imploding. Jill has hurled her flapjacks and departed in protest at Ben’s condomless foolishness

Agonising double entendres such as ‘You look like a man with a large adjustable wrench’ make you yearn for turnip content, frankly