TV stars can breathe a little easier: our uniquely grumpy critic has decided to call it quits

'Community college faculties go through members quicker than the Sugababes'

'Characters like Tosh were axed. Old-school coppers were replaced by strippergrams'

'Katie Price and Alex Reid exploring an empty house may be an apt metaphor for our times'

'When it comes to hot air ballooning on TV, Stephen Tompkinson has got it locked down'

'Jessica Simpson acts like Bruce Parry's terrified, doltish, moron of a cousin'

'Rather than recoiling in horror, the Amish kids are largely perplexed by the London lads'

'When it develops an obsession with a story the news turns into an idiot with an erection'

'If only there was some sort of club I could join to celebrate my whiteness, while masturbating over paintings of Hitler'

This week, Charlie's been watching the opening exchanges of the final series of Channel 4's Big Brother

'What puts me off the World Cup isn't the game but the hollow simulation of patriotism'

'Lost's final episode made less sense than a milk hammock. Jack was no longer Jack'

'Medium Joe Power even manages to direct Derren to the lavatory in a snide manner'

'Paxman is in full election Hulk!Smash!Smash! mode. "Don't talk over each other!" he yells at guests'

This week Charlie's been watching the end of season three of Mad Men, and pondering how many body parts he'd be willing to lose to get a peek at season four

This week, Charlie's been pondering his own mortality, watching Bravo's 1,000 Ways To Die