Zoe Williams: T is not interested in his sibling growing in my tummy. Maybe I should tell him it's a puppy instead ...

Zoe Williams: I'd like an epidural but can't face a shouting match with the midwife. Perhaps I'll try hypnotherapy instead

Zoe Williams: I have started boring passersby with tedious observations about T. I genuinely make myself sick

Zoe Williams: T hates his car seat - on one recent trip he shouted 'out!' all the way to France

Zoe Williams: T is too young to be reasoned with, but old enough to pull my hair. There's no solution to this problem

Zoe Williams: I hesitate to admit this, but in the third trimester I'm incredibly stupid. I wish I could skip this bit

Naomi Wolf wrote of the obstetric profession that it had a "telling, subtle but distinctive lack of compassion", which you'd never know about if you didn't have a baby. At the time, some while off being pregnant,

Zoe Williams: T has developed a huge vocabulary of disobliging remarks. He can even say 'no' in French

Zoe Williams: I'm concerned by the dangerous subtexts of Thomas the Tank Engine. Blame my mother

Zoe Williams: Being six months' pregnant means looking after yourself - not getting knocked off your bike

Zoe Williams: It's been a week of firsts, all of them objectively bad firsts, but it's nice when they learn things

Zoe Williams: The problem with getting pregnant for the second time is that it's just like the first time. Except nobody cares

Zoe Williams: What do you do when your son has a tantrum in public? There's always some book with a crazy answer

Zoe Williams: T seems to be adopting some of the dog's habits. Am I failing in my duties as a mum, or as a dog-owner?

Zoe Williams: Second time around, I'm not buying parachutes for trousers or dwelling on remarks about the size of my bump