Doing it for Dad
Rebecca Ley's weekly column about having power of attorney for her father, who has vascular dementia
The father I loved is all but gone
In her final column, Rebecca Ley explains why she will no longer be writing each week about her father's life with dementia
Dad is slipping out of view
My memories of Dad are getting fainter. But when I talk to Mum about my new baby – and when I was born – it brings him back for a bit. By Rebecca Ley
I'm still confused by the court of protection
We've had to deal again with the secretive court that advocates on behalf of people unable to make decisions about their welfare – it's a peculiar business
My dad appears to actively dislike me
Rebecca Ley: He is more aggressive than I've seen him since he got ill. At one point, he even makes to push me in the face
Dad does not recognise us
Rebecca Ley: He looks shocking and doesn't show a flicker of recognition. I'm impressed that, while I'm floored, my sister is unfazed
Dad's care home has been hit by the norovirus
Rebecca Ley: I haven't seen Dad for a long time, but I'm six months pregnant and don't want to get the vomiting bug
I've become used to talking about Dad's 'best interests' when he is not there
Rebecca Ley: The further Dad has sailed into his condition, the fewer questions there are over how to manage it
Now I'm happy to be like Dad
Rebecca Ley: When I was younger I tried hard to distance myself from the kind of person I felt Dad wanted me to be and emphasised our differences as soon as I could, but now it's different
I woke up one day and realised I'd never see Dad again
Rebecca Ley: If he was in his right mind, I'm fairly sure he wouldn't choose the existence he has now. But his body's will to live pulls him back from the brink
Dad on my wedding day
The runup to the wedding coincided with our doubts about his health, but though he wasn't fully himself on the day, I'm glad Dad was there. By Rebecca Ley
The guilt of not seeing Dad
I feel bad because I haven't seen Dad for months, thinking I should do more - but it's so hard when I do visit. By Rebecca Ley
Dad's gun was symbolic
Dad's weapon was tied up in his idea of masculinity and he would often talk about it to my husband. By Rebecca Ley
The grandad I never knew
It's sad that the baby I'm carrying will never know Dad, just as I never knew my grandfather. By Rebecca Ley
Dad needs a tooth removed, but kicks up a fuss
Dad needs a tooth removed, but kicks up a fuss. By Rebecca Ley
I'm pregnant, but sad too
My news means nothing to Dad and I'm at a loss without his excitement. By Rebecca Ley
The boon of 'continuing healthcare'
Rebecca Ley: Following his mini-stroke, Dad is much improved, and I am sure his excellent state-funded care has played a part
We get there early and find Dad's dementia worse
As Dad struggles to lift his head, it's clear how immobile he's become since last time
Doing it for Dad
Dad has taken a turn for the worse following a mini-stroke. By Rebecca Ley
Doing it for Dad
Taking charge of my father's life now that he has dementia. By Rebecca Ley
Doing it for Dad
Taking charge of my father's life now that he has dementia. By Rebecca Ley
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