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Tim Lott's family column

Novelist Tim Lott's weekly column about family life

  • Tim Lott.

    After six years of exposing my private life, I’m settling for silence

    I have shared my feelings about the death of my father, the struggle to save my marriage and the daily ins and outs of my family life. Now with sadness, and not a little relief, it is time to say goodbye
  • Family eating pizza at home

    For a happy family life, think free-form jazz

    Running a successful household requires kindness, respect, intimacy, shared meals, phone-free times – and the ability to improvise
  • Wife crying while her husband is wondering why

    To be happier, women should try giving up on being good

    Women are more unhappy than men, and men are blamed for this. But perhaps men aren’t the real culprits
  • A Swedish Santa tries to capture a local reindeer in Gallivare, northern Sweden.

    Down with the stigmatisation of Rudolph. He can’t help his nose

    Mistreatment of reindeer and elves, phallocentric crackers and sexually suggestive wreaths – Christmas has to be stopped
  • A man  wearing a Christmas sweater holding a glass of lager

    Christmas is not a competition. Have fun however you want

    The 25th on your own can be the loneliest day. Just make sure you’re good to yourself
  • couple arguing

    Why do we hold on to first impressions in a relationship?

    We need to take responsibilty for our mistakes in choosing our partner rather than simply justifying it to ourselves
  • African girl crying and reaching upward

    Life is unfair and it’s a parent’s job to ensure children know it

    We should stop telling kids how wonderful they are and instead teach them to accept life’s injustices and become resilient adults
  • A Wedding Cake, bride and groom standing back to back<br>AT35EY A Wedding Cake, bride and groom standing back to back

    Why living apart together is worth a try

    Couples who live apart together appear to be on the increase. We did it for two years and it didn’t achieve its objective, but it was a worthwhile experiment
  • Student on the way to lessons on steps Harrow School Harrow on the Hill Middlesex United Kingdom<br>B003EN Student on the way to lessons on steps Harrow School Harrow on the Hill Middlesex United Kingdom

    I’m against private schools, but could a new cheap ‘no frills’ option sway me?

    A plan to open a school with annual fees of £2,700 sounds superficially appealing – it wouldn’t be a place just for the rich
  • Marx and Plato

    Why Marx and Plato don’t make my philosophers’ fantasy football team

    The classical Greek idea of learning how to live a good life by studying ideas is one we should adopt – but only if we put the right thinkers on the curriculum
  • Young boys fighting

    You are only ever as happy as your unhappiest child

    Raising kids can be difficult, worrying and upsetting for all concerned – but life is about more than the pursuit of happiness
  • Urban funtime … children playing in the Princess Diana Memorial playground in London.

    Inner cities are the best places to raise children by a country mile

    Remote Scottish islands and monocultural English villages lack the nourishing racial diversity and cultural richness that big cities offer
  • NAHT conference 2017<br>File photo dated 26/01/12 of school pupils. Secondary schools in England are facing a "perfect storm" of pressures that could have severe consequences for children, headteachers have warned. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Issue date: Saturday April 29, 2017. Budget cuts, changes to exams, problems recruiting teachers and Brexit are causing major upheaval, according to the National Association of Head Teachers (NAHT). See PA story EDUCATION Headteachers. Photo credit should read: David Jones/PA Wire

    School open days are all about business. They put my teeth on edge

    Goody bags, glossy brochures – these events are more about making a corporate sales pitch than addressing the gritty realities of education
  • School coat rack<br>GettyImages-140344117

    Why I wish my parents had spent £22,000 on naming me

    Naming children is tricky. Now a Swiss company will do it for you – for a fee. Meanwhile, I’m just grateful my parents didn’t call me Sixtus or Cyanide
  • Bear Grylls

    Parents should stop trying to make their kids so fearful of life

    We need to teach children that an element of risk in everyday life is inescapable, and how rare terrible events such as those in Las Vegas are, to establish some kind of resilience
  • School bullies in playground

    Why onlookers hold the key to standing up to bullies

    As a victim of bullying at school and at home, I think the best way to prevent it is to use the same peer pressure that brings it about
  • TOPSHOT-BRITAIN-EU-POLITICS-BREXIT<br>TOPSHOT - A pedestrian shelters from the rain beneath a Union flag themed umbrella as they walk near the Big Ben clock face and the Elizabeth Tower at the Houses of Parliament in central London on June 25, 2016, following the pro-Brexit result of the UK's EU referendum vote. The result of Britain's June 23 referendum vote to leave the European Union (EU) has pitted parents against children, cities against rural areas, north against south and university graduates against those with fewer qualifications. London, Scotland and Northern Ireland voted to remain in the EU but Wales and large swathes of England, particularly former industrial hubs in the north with many disaffected workers, backed a Brexit. / AFP PHOTO / JUSTIN TALLIS (Photo credit should read JUSTIN TALLIS/AFP/Getty Images)

    British values for kids? Scepticism and bloody-mindedness would be a good start

    I’m fine with schools suggesting ‘We hope for peace among all nations’, but ‘We trust and obey our government’ sounds like very un-British sucking up, writes Tim Lott
  • KNOWSLEY, 23 December 2016 - Boys playing on Pennard Avenue in Knowsley borough, one of the most deprived council areas in the country and now the only authority where no schools offer A-level courses. **parental permission granted. 69 Pennard Ave** Christopher Thomond for The Guardian.

    Why working-class children have little chance of success

    Their parents are concerned with providing food and shelter, and ‘class migration’ means those kids who do well feel alienated from their birth culture
  • Tourism revenue predicted to rise in Thailand<br>epa06146844 A Buddha statue stands in front of the ancient pagoda at the Wat Arun, or Temple of Dawn, in Bangkok, Thailand, 16 August 2017. Thailand predicts its revenue from tourism to increase by 3.7 percent from last year to 1.8 trillion Thai baht (around 54 million US dollars) for 2017. More than eight million tourists visited Thailand during the high season at the end of 2016, according to a report released by the Tourism Council of Thailand (TCT).  EPA/NARONG SANGNAK

    If you’re looking for advice on raising kids, don’t rely on religious leaders

    Buddha wasn’t exactly an attentive father and Jesus wasn’t big on family. Muhammad seems to have been the most impressive dad
  • Mother and child at home

    To lose love is terrible, but to never have had it is worse still

    Children who are unloved by their parents often try to please them with the aim of winning their approval – a recipe for depression later in life
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