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The Guardian - Back to homeThe Guardian

This is how we do it

Couples share the naked truth about their sex lives

27 July 2024

  • Two lower arms touching each other

    This is how we do it: ‘I bought a book on tantra – erections are not necessary’

    Caleb’s never felt attractive but after two years with Jen – and buying a book that rejected the normal sex agenda – his self-confidence is growing

20 July 2024

  • Ruth and Lawrence

    This is how we do it: ‘After our child was born we didn’t have satisfying sex for seven years’

    Childbirth made sex painful for Ruth, and Lawrence felt rejected. An operation has made intimacy easier but the relationship still bears the psychological scars

13 July 2024

  • Serge and Lucy

    This is how we do it: ‘We would have sex in the morning before I drove her to hospital’

    Serge and Lucy found that planning moments of intimacy helped her through her cancer treatment

6 July 2024

  • A cartoon of a giant sheep, with two little naked people held between its teeth.

    This is how we do it: ‘The sheep on our farm hinder our sex life more than the kids’

    Friction in the fields is wreaking havoc in the bedroom for farmers and parents Rosie and BrianHow do you do it? Share the story of your sex life, anonymously

5 July 2024

  • Illustration of a naked man and woman kissing behind a giant flower

    ‘There is a sex crisis here. Couples stop having sex after kids’: This is how we do it in Japan

    Aoi and Jiro have regular intercourse – so how did they buck what seems to be a national trend?

4 July 2024

  • Illustration of a couple kissing while inside a giant carton of popcorn

    ‘We fool around in semi-public places. You could be arrested or publicly shamed’: This is how we do it in Uganda

    Catherine and Daudi first met at school but fell for each other three years ago

3 July 2024

  • Illustration of a naked man and woman dancing together. The man as a rose in his mouth

    ‘We’ve been together 33 years. I want sex once a week. He wishes it was three times a day’: This is how we do it in Chile

    Natalia and Juan Luís have been together for 33 years but are now noticing big differences in their sex drives

2 July 2024

  • Illustration of two naked men in an embrace while listening out for anyone coming to the front door

    ‘Our first sexual encounter was a mess. We were so anxious, neither of us could get an erection’: This is how we do it in Nigeria

    In Nigeria, where homosexuality is illegal, Chibuzo and Ekele reveal the risks of some very dangerous liaisons

1 July 2024

  • Illustration of a naked man and woman behind a DNA spiral

    ‘It is routine to check whether you are related to a romantic partner before you get serious’: This is how we do it in Iceland

    When Sigrún checked out her family tree online, it wasn’t to find out if she and Einar were related – it was how closely related

30 June 2024

  • Illustration of a naked man and woman who are kissing while blindfolded

    ‘Most of the flirting is virtual – you sit at a computer and talk to girls online’: This is how we do it in China

    Tao grew up in a conservative family and era – so how did meeting Chen, who was younger and more experimental, change him?

29 June 2024

  • Illustration of a naked woman being carried by a naked man from her wheelchair

    ‘Sex work is decriminalised – and my time with Samuel is subsidised by the government’: This is how we do it in Australia

  • Illustration of three naked men all together in a line, wrapped in one towel

    ‘Sex in an LA spa was strangely wholesome, like an extension of the wellness experience’: This is how we do it in America

  • Illustration of four people's feet poking out of the bottom of a duvet

    ‘The idea that every Parisian is in a menage a trois is a silly stereotype’: This is how we do it in France

  • Illustration of naked people with the flags of their countries

    I spent months interviewing people about their sex lives. This is what I learned

22 June 2024

  • Illustration of Mila and Oliver being catapulted

    This is how we do it: ‘The threesomes are on hold while we try for a baby’

    Mila and Oliver’s bedroom activity was centred on exploring their fantasies, but trying to conceive means sex is now more about fertility than kink

15 June 2024

  • Meredith on Harry's shoulders, both having fun

    This is how we do it: ‘We were both anxious when we met, but our sex life is a lot of fun now’

    Harry wasn’t sure he’d love again after his wife died, and Meredith’s ex was ‘Victorian’ in bed, so finding each other has been a joy

8 June 2024

  • Isla and Benjamin

    This is how we do it: ‘Our open marriage has strengthened the sexual connection between us’

    Since they started sleeping with other people, Isla and Benjamin say their own relationship has become more passionate and engaged

1 June 2024

  • A cartoon of a lady holding a tiny sofa in her hand, with a man sleeping on it.

    This is how we do it: ‘After my affair, he won’t come back to the bedroom’

    Jess’s fling six years ago has led to her and husband, Rob, sleeping in separate rooms – and they are struggling to reconnect

25 May 2024

  • missionary position, from the feet

    This is how we do it: ‘I want missionary every night – but I’m trying to be more adventurous’

    Alice says she’s boring sexually, so she and Elliot are trying to spice things up

18 May 2024

  • Jasper and Ellen

    This is how we do it: ‘We’ll put on our sex playlist and change the lights to purple. It ignites a fire inside us’

    After sexless marriages, Jasper and Ellen discovered what they’d been missing out on
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