How brands could capitalise on the ever-growing news coverage of GCSE results

With our jails overflowing with rioters, Big Brother should step in to help. Channel 5 could let some offenders serve their sentence locked up in the house with Jedward

While Rupert Murdoch is in Parliament this week, he should take the unique opportunity to plant a few covert listening devices, which are sure to yield many exclusives for years to come

With the News of the World out of action, the police have no one to sell stories to. Why not cut out the middleman and start their own tabloid?

In this age of digital wizardry, there could be a "political bias" function on remote controls that adjusts the news to your views

Brands should maximise their exposure at Wimbledon by asking players to incorporate them into their grunting

Facebook provides a huge pool of nosy people with too much time on their hands: it is the perfect setting for the virtual jury

The Archbishop of Canterbury clearly struck a nerve. Songs of Praise should jump on his bandwagon by featuring anti-government hymns

More parents are spending time on YouTube viewing inappropriate content. YouTube should devise a filter to keep them out

Britain must retaliate against the outrageous dismissal of Cheryl Cole from the US X Factor

Non-sponsor brands face draconian restrictions at the Olympics so why not pay athletes to change their names by deed poll?

Now that Cheryl Cole is off the US, the X Factor need to replace her with another telegenic judge

If celebrities can prevent us from reading about them, we should be able to apply for injunctions preventing them from divulging

An alternative TV schedule in case Kate Middleton says no at the alter

Why not legalise payments to the police for scoops?

With footballers now getting into trouble for swearing, there is a need for a new breed of publicists to join them on the pitch

The event has been such a boon to the media it's a shame we can't have one every year

Lockheed Martin are organising and enforcing the census, and indeed who better than experts in violence?

We need a television that switches itself on automatically when it deems that a world-changing event is occurring

Anyone should be able to pay £20 to prevent their office party behaviour from being mentioned online