10 Tips for Dating When You’re HIV Positive

Finding a partner when HIV positive can feel scary, but you can have a fulfilling relationship. HIV is treatable, and with treatment, you can live a long and normal life while protecting your partner. 

It’s sometimes hard to talk about HIV with new or potential partners. It’s normal to feel stressed or embarrassed, but learning more about your condition can help. Ask your doctor about how and when to disclose your status. More information will make it easier to talk about living with HIV.

HIV medication lowers the amount of HIV in your blood until it’s undetectable. This helps your immune system repair itself and stops you from getting other illnesses. If you’re taking medication as directed and are undetectable for at least six months, you won’t transmit HIV to your partners.

In some states, the law requires you to tell your partner you have HIV before sex or sharing needles. No one can force you to disclose, but it’s strongly recommended to protect you from legal punishment. It also lets others make decisions for their health. 

Knowing when to disclose your HIV status during dating can be a big worry. If you aren’t having sex, you can decide when to tell a potential partner. Talk about it when you’re both sober, and you feel safe.

Practice safe sex. Condoms prevent HIV transmission and protect you from getting other sexually transmitted infections. For peace of mind, use condoms every time, especially if you have multiple partners. 

Some types of sex have little to no risk for HIV transmission. Oral sex and touching are lower-risk options as long as there are no open sores or cuts in the mouth or on the genitals.

Encourage your HIV-negative partners to talk to their doctor about PrEP if you aren’t undetectable or have trouble staying undetectable. PrEP stands for pre-exposure prophylaxis, which means you take it before sex to lower your risk of infection. It’s a highly effective medicine. 

Whether or not you’re HIV positive, dating and finding the right person takes time. You might feel stressed about your love life and how HIV affects your relationships, but be kind to yourself. Take time to do what makes you feel good and helps you maintain your sense of self.  

Having HIV can be stressful and lead to a lot of emotional distress. You might find it helpful to talk to a counselor about ways to cope with your feelings and your condition. Finding other people who live with HIV can help you feel a sense of community. Plus, you can ask them for advice. 

If you feel embarrassed about having HIV, you’re not alone. But remember, it’s not something to feel ashamed about. Look for a partner who appreciates you for who you are. Be yourself and ask for help if you’re struggling to feel confident.