Subscriptions are the future of micromobility. Marketing, Mobility, and Urban Logistics. Co-Founder, Ex-Pat, Ex-Ad Agency Hack.
Ah, startup fundraising. The sacred art of getting strangers to believe in your vision enough to write a check. Simple, right? Not if you’ve spent any time on LinkedIn. “Always have a pitch deck,” says Chad Deckerson, self-proclaimed VC whisperer. “Skip the deck, send a deal memo,” counters Karen Summary, CEO of One-Pagers R Us. “Show the founders first, investors bet on people,” advises Tony BioSlide, who definitely knows someone who raised money once. “No, save the team for last,” insists Dr. Idea First, author of *Decks That Close.* “Use the YC template, it’s the gold standard,” chimes in Emily Format, serial commenter. “No, Sequoia’s deck is the one that actually works,” argues Brad Template, who may or may not have raised a pre-seed round in 2008. Here’s the thing: opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one, and most of the time, they stink. The truth is, fundraising is messy and full of contradictions. There’s no one size fits all playbook because investors are people with quirks, biases, and preferences. What works for one might completely bomb with another. Instead of chasing the perfect formula, focus on telling your story in a way that feels authentic and resonates with who you are as a founder. Investors connect with passion, clarity, and a strong narrative that reflects the unique value of your business. The only pitch that matters is the one that gets the deal done. What’s the worst or funniest advice you’ve heard about fundraising? Let me know, I need the laugh.