These 4000 hours in Dota will haunt me forever.

But it will also remind me to never make the same mistake again. The gaming world has gone to hell, there is nothing good anymore and the things that were good became irrelevant or were killed by updates.
I stuck around, played games that I did not really like, with people that cared about me as much as a celebrity cares about their simps. But what else is there to do? You either do what you can barely stand or you die of boredom.
Gaming is my only hobby; something I had put everything in ever since I started playing Unreal Tournament 99 when I was 2 years old. Now I got the hardware, the skills and the knowledge. But I lost the games and the people I used to have fun with. All my "friends" just left. Either to different games or to "get a life". Which means they either go out to drink every night or sit on Tiktok 24/7. Or both.
Nobody cares about anything these days. All my attempts to bring back the joy of pub stomping
TF2 lobbies, playing Zombies or trying some stupid BS in Dota for hours per day have failed. They don't care. And I cannot convince them to care. And of course the lack of good games doesn't help either.

Why is everyone forcing positivity onto everything? Why can you get banned from 90% of Discord servers if you trash a game too much (even if it's universally agreed that the said game is a disaster)? Why is everyone self aware that they are "addicted" to something they hate but refuse to try and move away from it? Why does everyone refuse to team up and push together through the misery and try to make our life at least a little more enjoyable?

"Idk". That's the answer I got. And frankly, that's my answer to my question too. Nobody knows, which means that I also cannot know the answer. But I refuse to join them. Valorant, League, Dota, CoD, Battlefield, all the Battle Royales and every other half-assed "competitive" multiplayer game can all go F themselves.
I have played enough single player games for them to just not cut it for me anymore.
But I will rather replay DOOM for the 25th time than try to "git gud" in a game which was made from the ground up to gatekeep your fun. A game where you can lose instantly with either a single small mistake or just lose to something you could not fight back in the first place.

RIP Paragon. You could have saved everything but Epic had other plans.


If you made it this far, well you cared enough to do so, and I already appreciate that.
Welcome to my world and feel free to join me in my desperate attempts to fix this mess.




CPU - Core i9 10900K
CPU cooler - Arctic Liquid Freezer ii 420mm
GPU - RTX 3080 MSI SUPRIM X
RAM - 32GB G.Skill Trident Z Royal
Motherboard - MSI Z590 GODLIKE
PSU - beQuiet! Dark Power 13 1000W
Case - HAF 700 Evo
Monitor - Alienware AW3423DW

Mouse - GWolves HSK Pro 4K
Mousepad - Skypad Frenzy Sora
Keyboard - Wooting 60HE
Headphones - Hifiman Edition X
Mic - Audiotechnica AT2020 USB

Razer Blade 17
CPU - Core i9 11900H
GPU - RTX 3080 16GB
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Display - 3840x2160 @120hz



Focal Utopia (2022)
Focal Azurys
Hifiman Edition X
Hifiman HE-R9
Koss KSC75
Stax SR-404 Signature
Stax Lambda Nova

Moondrop Chu 2
Truthear Zero Blue

Edifier S2000mkiii
Edifier G2000
Edifier G1000

Feliks Euforia Anniversary Edition
Stax SRM-006t2
Stax SRM-Xh
Hifiman EF499
iFi Zen Dac
Fiio KA11
Creative Labs Sound Blaster Play 4
Apple Dongle