CEO of Racism.
Winner of the annual "Most Slurs In 45 Seconds" competition 7 years in a row.
Grand Wizard of every KKK cell in the eastern hemisphere.
Inventor of the pattented Neuro-Linked Narrow Purpose Quantum Assembly Device (NLNPQAD for short) that materializes a lit pipe bomb in your dog's stomach 14.3 seconds after you share your pronouns in a conversation with me.
The hitman behind every major political assassination in the last 83 years, including but not limited to John Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr, John McAfee, Jeffrey Epstein, Kobe Bryant, and Harambe.
Unabomber's ghost writer.
My medical record currently features 17 mental illensses that haven't been invented yet.
I pronounce the "cch" in "Pinocchio" the same way you pronounce the "ch" in "chair".
Well if you are what you eat - then I am 13 prostitutes that went missing in the state of Ohio during September of 2018.
I live in a low income housing environment that goes by the government name of Section 8. Me and a group of my allies control certain areas of this section in order to run our illegitimate business. We possess unregistered firearms, stolen vehicles, mind-altering inhibitors and only use cash for financial purchases. If anyone would like to settle unfinished altercations, I will be more than happy to release my address. I would like to warn you, I am a very dangerous person and I regularly disobey the law.
Excuse me? Homophobic? I'm not scared of them, they're scared of me.
I am that which has ever been, always is, and forever will be.
Well if I'm not supposed to sexually harass women, then why did God make me faster and stronger than them?
I remember what happened tomorrow.
If you took any of that seriously - you're a fool.
If you did not take all of that completely seriously - that's exactly how I recruited 53 people into my international domestic terrorist organisation. On that note, congratulations, Agent 54, the instructions for your first assignment are already on their way, you'll know it when you get them.