It's not a finished game. It's not. But I beat Minos Prime, the boss you get to fight after getting a Perfect on every level in the first act. So I'm giving it a few words here as a way to shake off the vibes.

ULTRAKILL is adrenaline. It's a first-person character-action game that I think I like more than Devil May Cry. It's God Hand tier. Let me explain.

A bead of sweat rolls down the brow of an ape. A gorilla, in truth. For it is in the process of ripping down a tree with its bare hands. It is doing this because it has a rudimentary understanding of tools. This is a process it has performed only once before, but one that it feels to be intimately familiar. Gorilla, you see, comes from a tribe of magnificent beasts, which have formed a social bubble based on their ability to destroy.

Gorilla is their chief. For he is strong.

Strong is Gorilla, so strong that as he finishes ripping and tearing apart the stump he is already preparing to use the leather-shaming skin of his gnarled palms to sharpen the trunk. Splinters will not pierce his hide. For a day he works devotedly, his mouth making no sound. Those of his tribe speak. He does not. For he is honing himself.

This is a task that appears impossible at first place. How could he tear down the tree? How could he weaponise it? In his youth, he thought it to be a joke. Yet he saw his kith and kin doing much the same tasks - impossible ones. So he worked. He became a doer of the impossible. And before long, he used the sum of his efforts to slay skyscrapers. To topple towers. To kill, and to end.

This is what ULTRAKILL is. It is being born as an ape, a mere baby, and raising one's self up with understanding and devotion until you are Gorilla. You must learn to crawl - to shoot the gun, to slide, to jump. Then you must elevate - to shoot the coin, to shoot many guns, to dash. Then you must become as ULTRA - to shoot the coin perfectly, to shoot many guns in succession, to parry.

You see a task - defeat Swordmachine. Defeat V2. You struggle. You learn. You adapt. You are defeated, time and time again - but each time you sculpt your central nervous system just a little bit more. You defeat them, and move on. You defeat the task after that, and the task after that - each level cleared is a jewel, attached to your central nervous system. By the time you get to Gabriel, your spinal column is encrusted with gemstones. You fight, you lose, you fight again, you are defeated. You fight again. You claw out a victory.

Then you see it. 'Perfection'. You thought it a joke at first - how could one do this without flaws? How could one be as Gods? Then you realise it, right there. You are not a God. You are a machine. Violence is your function, and you have become efficient. Success is mechanical. It is automatic. You. Are. Perfect.

Then you take on those tasks again. Swordmachine is but a smear on the ground - they were no threat. They are a joke before you. An imperfect device, fallen before the ULTRA machine.

V2 is your successor - they must inherit your legacy, and thus you must give them one to inherit. Once a foe that caused dread and fear, now a child in need of being educated. You shatter them on the rocks of Clair de Lune and toss them into the Mishima Volcano. They will be back, and they will be stronger. As will you.

The Corpse King's a ♥♥♥♥, ♥♥♥♥ him, don't worry about it. So's the Mass, really. ♥♥♥♥ 'em.

Then, Gabriel. Gabriel was the pinnacle. A beast. How could you fight Gabriel and win? He is your Vergil, your wall. You were cast down by him many times. But now you are ULTRA. And you will KILL. And in minutes, Gabriel is torn asunder and left a husk, while you stand gleaming in the blood of the divine. He will be back, too - and he will fall once more.

You conquered all of this - and learned to do so with automatic ease and style. Now there is but Minos Prime - a man of pure will, who saw fit to admonish the heavens for their cruelty. The heavens made him a cell - a cell that is stronger than Gabriel. And you release Minos, and fight him. And you learn a new state of humility - for he is ULTRAWILL. But if you can claim victory from him - if you can grip the reins of conquest and ride your KILL chariot forth - then surely, you can go beyond. Surely, you can master him, too.

You enter a state of flow, as written and described by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, where you cease to be who you are - and you become Gorilla, unfathomable and glorious, mighty and pure. Become Gorilla, my friends. Become ULTRA. Become KILL.

Mirage-Chan is all I want in this life and the next.