Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.
-Gil Stern

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
-Bill Vaughn

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.
-George F. Will

Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train.
-Anonymous

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
-James Branch Cabell

I am not a pessimist; to perceive evil where it exists is, in my opinion, a form of optimism.
-Roberto Rossellini

If you pray for rain, don't be surprised if you're struck by lightning.
-Damien Cannon

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half- empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.
-Janeane Garofalo

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
-Philander Johnson

"Life is like a movie; if you've sat through more than half of it and it's sucked every second so far, it probably isn't gonna get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. No one should blame you for walking out early."
—Doug Stanhope

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.

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