Yellowrattle Coaching Ltd

There is risk and reward in true conversation. When we talk openly and freely with someone, we may not get the response we hoped for..........or we might get a better one. Human conversations are not predictable, not programmable, and definitely do not guarantee what we want to hear. The reward is rich - what is human connection can also be described more deeply - intimacy. But to win it, you have to take the real risk of rejection, even if it is just a joke falling flat. The reward of connection is in the listening as much as the telling, it is in the reciprocal relationship. Listen to the ‘how’ of what you are being told as well as the what and you will hear so much more. What is the role of the person in the story? What are they telling you is important? Facts, feelings, something else? Where is their agency in the story? Did it happen to them or did they drive it? What are they trying to tell you? They are reliable? They care? They are lonely? Thank you Ben for a great conversation!

This snippet of my conversation with Ben highlights one of the biggest gifts that service in the military gives Self-efficacy This is the extent that you believe you can accomplish your tasks and achieve your goals. In life, we all start from a different point in our ability to do this: a combination of your demographic, sex, socio-economic factors, education, primary relationships…and trauma. But it is a starting point - the military training is deliberately miserable! Through training together, we share experiences so that we can re-tell how things happen - we survive, we get better. As a psychodynamically trained coach, my ability to work with your stories, and the purpose they are serving you today, can be explored without having to dig a trench! This meaning-making journey can transform how you go forward in life. 🔗 Link to the whole conversation in the comments below 👇🏻

The power of conversation 🙌🏻 Ben Read - thank you for a great discussion. This conversation really exemplified what drives my work now - at the centre of it is that we are relational 🫶🏻 Please have a listen 🎧 😃

"Thinking, Fast and Slow" by Daniel Kahneman or "The Chimp Paradox" by Dr. Steve Peters are great books which talk about our conscious and unconscious way of thinking. They explain how we often see the short-term gain win over long-term, how our emotional state is central to our decision making and how habits can change this. So when there are books that explain the way we operate so well, how can talking with another human help? It comes down to the patterns we have are built out of, and in response to, the relationships you have with others - we are a relational species. Challenging these patterns can be done most powerfully….. in relationship. For example, we may, over time lose our capacity for interoception (our ability to listen to our bodies and interpret what we are feeling). It requires us to pause, tune into our internal bodily signals, and truly understand our feelings. Ignoring these feelings can lead to disconnection and rumination. It begins as babies - we learn to experience emotion through motion… (e)motion. Our earliest words are to interpret and express what we need, which we learn from our primary carers. As adults, we learn behaviours from, and through, others that distance ourselves from these communications and to ignore or stifle those feelings. By reconnecting, and being open to learning again what our body is telling us, we can understand what we actually need, not what we think we should need.

It’s time for the next edition of my fortnightly newsletter - out 4pm Friday 27 Sep. If you are stuck on a train wishing you had something to read (experience talking here 😆) perhaps you would like a nice reflective read? 📊 what’s the difference between being data driven and data informed? I write to my experience. 🍂 Reflections as the temperature changes - metaphorical and literal reflections with the inspiration from Natalie Haynes (the lady who stands up for the classics!) 🐶 Milton’s reflections on why the small things matter 🎾 🎾 https://lnkd.in/dFqUCqyJ

There is risk and reward in true conversation. When we talk openly and freely with someone, we may not get the response we hoped for, or we might get a better one. Human conversations are not predictable, not programmable, and definitely do not guarantee what we want to hear. The reward is rich - what is human connection can also be described more deeply - intimacy. But to win it, you have to take the real risk of rejection, even if it is just a joke falling flat. The reward of connection is in the listening as much as the telling, it is in the reciprocal relationship. Listen to the ‘how’ of what you are being told as well as the what and you will hear so much more. What is the role of the person in the story? What are they telling you is important? Facts, feelings, something else? Where is their agency in the story? Did it happen to them or did they drive it? What are they trying to tell you? They are reliable? They care? They are lonely? ------ These patterns were built out of, and in response to, the relationships you have with others, so challenging them can be done most powerfully with someone by your side. That partnership is the heart of my coaching practice. Like to find out more about my coaching? Get in touch directly through messaging me here, or going to my website for more information and other ways to contact me 👉 https://lnkd.in/eHag6SUd #LeadershipCoach #PersonalCoach #ExecutiveCoach #NewJob #Newopportunities #EmbraceTheChange #CoachingTips #veteran #coach #executivecoach

What's the difference between organisational position and status? Does it matter? In leadership roles, we can be very sensitive to small changes in relative status. They might remind us about times where we felt similarly, even though the context is different. When we don’t notice these feelings, we can be unaware that we are projecting them onto our team, but they will feel them. For example, you may come across as inflexible or unsure and transmit those signals through body language. Our position can be given to us by an organisational structure, but that is different to our status relative to others we know. You need to be able to occupy both your place in the hierarchy and be able to understand the other signals you are giving out. Those signals determine how people feel in relation to you and it matters. For people to act with empowerment, there will be times where you will need to let them lead. We respond to words in our bodies. We feel them. This somatic response is because our first development phase in life is to move - it is our most primitive and fundamental experience. This somatic basis is where emotions, bodily concepts and speech evolve from. Think of the word emotion….(e)motion. We have evolved to understand and respond to the emotional states of those around us, it is crucial to our survival. We interpret our emotions through the context in which we experience them, and remember them. Does your leadership practise cultivate noticing how you feel? In my coaching partnerships, I will invite you to expand the connection with both - notice what you thought and what you felt, both somatically and emotionally. If you would like to be the first to find out about my availability, sign-up through my website for fortnightly updates on my availability, innovation, self-reflection and work-life topics. Next edition: 27 Sep at 4pm. https://lnkd.in/eHag6SUd #CoachingTips #LeadershipCoaching #PersonalCoaching #InPersonCoaching #CheltenhamCoach #StroudCoach #FaceToFaceCoaching

Looking for a browse on the bus ride home, or the train journey to visit friends over the weekend or perhaps over breakfast tomorrow morning? ☕️ My fortnightly newsletter is out today at 4pm (still time to sign up!) I'll be covering: 📝 Types of knowledge in innovation and why knowing what type of knowledge you have is important 🎉 Notes on celebration and a poem that's inspired me this week 🐾 Some wise words from Milton on 'beating the black dog' - reflections on our experience of running our longest distance yet (12km) in Wales, in aid of PAPYRUS Prevention of Young Suicide Sign-up here: https://lnkd.in/eHag6SUd

Inertia: property of a body by virtue of which it opposes any agency that attempts to put it in motion or, if it is moving, to change the magnitude or direction of its velocity. The state of inertia is a state of matter whereby something continues in its existing state, whether that is rest or uniform motion. It might be a state that is familiar to you; most of us experience inertia at some point. Whether you are struggling to get going on a change you want to make, or struggling to change direction from a habitual pattern, you might need a little help getting unstuck. Stuckness can happen when our conscious and unconscious are not in harmony. We consciously want to make a change, but aspects of our unconscious become an advocate for the status quo, but aspects of our Self are calling out to be heard. Our unconscious holds all of the patterns of behaviour that we have built up over the years and quite often, it thinks it has everything sorted and is keeping us safe. Times change though, and ideally, you get to change with them. Given that those patterns were built out of, and in response to, the relationships you have with others, challenging them can be done most powerfully with someone by your side. That partnership is the heart of my coaching practice. Sign-up through my website for fortnightly updates on innovation, self-reflection and work-life topics. https://lnkd.in/eHag6SUd #PersonalCoach #LeadershipCoach #StroudCoach #CheltenhamCoach #FeelingStuck #TeamLeadership

In psychodynamic coaching, we listen for ‘what is not being said' - why? The ‘stuckness’ that emerges within oneself, comes from a tension of opposites for example, a desire to change, but a reluctance to act. Is it just a case of mind over matter? What happens if we look at mind over matter? One half of the quadrant is missing. This matters because our tensions are complimentary - not opposing in the sense that one should win over the other. We are designed this way. Consider the full quadrant and how it helps maintain our different, but complimentary, functions of the nervous and endocrine system. One is not looking to beat the other, but act in harmony.