House Of The Dragon simmers down after a fiery battle

Nothing screams “big bad” quite like a sinister-looking man in an eyepatch, standing alone in a darkened room, smiling as lightning flashes around him. Oh sure, it’s a little on the nose, but the intent is clear: Aemond is the villain after the events of Rook’s Rest, a fact made plainer by the expression on Ewan Mitchell’s face as he watches the maesters tear the molten armor from his brother’s burnt skin.

The blood, the sight of Aegon’s ruined face, or the sound of bones being cracked back into place don’t trigger him. There’s no glimmer of remorse. When Aemond tore Lucerys from his dragon and sent him plunging to his death, he looked shocked. However, barbecuing his own brother (and lifelong bully) is all in a day’s work. Judging by how quickly he sets to work when he’s named Prince Regent by the King’s Council, this has all unfolded exactly as Aemond intended it, except Aegon is still alive (or just about).

Aemond’s first act besides cutting down the “fucking rat catchers” that still hang around the city is to *checks notes* lock the discontented smallfolk of King’s Landing inside so that they can’t flee the Citadel. That’ll do something to change their mood, I suppose, although not for the better, especially as they’re starving and terrified Team Green has brought the wrath of the gods upon them by parading the severed head of the “traitor dragon Meleys.” That poor baby, our goodest of girls didn’t deserve this indignity.

Yes, it’s ever so easy to insist that Aemond is the one true villain of this series. His mother wastes no time doing so, with Alicent warning Criston Cole over what her second-born son has become. Cole is still too shaken by the events at Rook’s Rest to pay her much heed, mind you. Although when his lover rails at him for refusing to name her Queen Regent, he lets slip that he did so to spare her the horrors he has already endured. That Aemond is all too willing to wreak in the name of Team Green. Again, that’s far too easy; Aemond is a monster with effortlessly good hair, it’s true, but he’s not the aforementioned Big Bad everyone thinks him to be. Rather, all men are.

Bring on the “not all men!” parade as I’m about to (sorry not sorry) trigger them. As the events of this episode have well and truly underlined, the men of HOTD keep screwing things up for the sake of what exactly? Aemond is driven to vengeance by his childhood traumas. Aegon is stupid and has a fragile ego. Cole is gunning for Rhaenyra because she (fairly) didn’t want to give up her sacred birthright and sell oranges with him after a one-night stand. Larys Strong only backs Alicent for glimpses of her naked feet. You get the picture.

And how’s Team Black faring? Daemon is having vivid dream-sex with his mother at Harrenhal, as he finally admits what we all already know: He’s going to betray Rhaenyra and claim the Iron Throne for himself (who should he conjure in a hallucination that might steer him back to his wife’s side?) Corlys, meanwhile, is angrily grieving the loss of Rhaenys but as Rhaena informs her grandsire, “Rhaenys was not only your wife and not a thing to be taken from you.” The men on Rhaenyra’s council are busy talking around her and mansplaining the concept of war to their queen, even if just like her, they have enjoyed a lifetime of peace and never fought in a single battle.

Even Jace, sweet and loyal Jace, isn’t immune. He defies his mother’s orders in “Regent” and flies off to The Twins to make nice with the Freys (triggering my Red Wedding-induced PTSD in the process). Sure, he gets a pretty good deal from them—the Crossing and bent knees aplenty—in exchange for a dragon bodyguard and Harrenhal, but I will never trust a Frey. Ever. So I’ll believe it when I see it, I suppose. Rhaenyra’s son redeems himself when he comes up with a pretty nifty solution to the Vhagar problem: Wake up Silverwing and Vermithor slumbering beneath them, and find someone, anyone with the thinnest trace of Targaryen blood running to ride them. It’s a solid plan, especially as Team Black can easily get their mitts on a few more riderless dragons before too long (Seasmoke, here’s looking at your lonely self), but can they get it into action quickly enough?

All in all, episode five is solid but somewhat anticlimactic in the wake of last week’s big battle sequence. There are few tearful lamentations over Rhaenys, merely a moment of reminiscing. Aemond faces zero consequences for his behavior (as ever), although he does find himself reprimanded by Helaena over his greedy grasping for the Iron Throne. Nobody answers for the death of Meleys and the Queen That Never Was. Instead, strategies are formed in hushed tones and women are repeatedly let down by (for want of a better word) their male colleagues.

Perhaps that’s the point, though. The world doesn’t stop turning when a soldier, or 900 soldiers, speaking for Team Green falls in battle. The sheer scale of the loss involved doesn’t prompt immediate ceasefires and peace talks. It merely prompts each side to dig their heels in ever deeper. And, as ever, the leaders who plan these battles from a distance fail to acknowledge how the reality of war impacts the people down below, a.k.a. the starving, the sick, and those shivering with fear over what’s to come.

Throw in some excellent face work from Emma D’Arcy (seriously, they can convey anguish with a single twitch of their lips) and wonderfully complex performances by Olivia Cooke and Fabien Frankel, and you have yet another stellar example of how well House Of The Dragon does character and dialogue. While we may not need a flashy dragon battle to keep us hooked, it wouldn’t hurt to ramp up the action a teeny bit now that only a handful of episodes are left before the finale.

Stray observations:

• There might be more than one way to wage a war, but I can’t help but wonder what Mysaria has sent Rhaenyra’s handmaiden off to do in King’s Landing. Spread rumors, sure, but about what? To whom? For how long? Answers, damn it!
• Alicent comparing Criston to a moth wasn’t on my bingo card this week, but I love it all the same. Almost as much as I loved her having to sit and endure the same humiliation that after she told her son his entire purpose is to stay quiet and listen to the more seasoned politicians around him. How does that crow taste, Alicent?
• All poor Lady Jeane Arryn wanted was a dragon to protect her impenetrable sky fortress from Team Green. Instead, she got Tyraxes and Stormcloud. Perhaps they might kill the enemy with cuteness…?
• He’s committed murder and incest already, but Daemon is easily at his nastiest when he gets down and dirty with Alyssa Targaryen this week. We guess, much like Hamlet, he has some serious mommy issues to work through.
• As does Aegon, albeit for different reasons. Did anyone else’s heart break a little when that poor broken king called out for his mummy? Sidenote: I hope he’s nursed back to lucidity before too long, because Aegon, even at his most unhinged, is easily one of the most watchable members of Team Green.
• Ser Alfred is the worst. The worst.
• Sunfyre going offscreen feels all kinds of wrong, especially as we had so much finality with Meleys (she exploded on impact and they somehow got hold of her head, too). We’d like to see if, like Aegon, that wee dragon is still clinging to life by a thread.
• Hugh Hammer surely keeps popping up for a reason, right? I suspect he will become more of a key player, if only to show us the reality of life for the people under Team Green, in the weeks to come.
• Aemond is almost too evil at this point. Can’t we get him a sobering hallucination or two like his Uncle Daemon?