"Why Did I Call A Job Asking If They're Hiring And They Said No We're Firing LMFAOOOOOOO" — And 23 Other Hilarious Tweets From The Weekend
I'm dying. 😂
For some reason, the best tweets always seem to happen on weekends. Here are some funny ones that recently came across my timeline.
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2.
Oh I love her music! pic.twitter.com/TRQ4xlaVEG
— leafy lane 🏒🐭 (@leafylane16) June 22, 2024
3.
Exactly what a haunted house would say pic.twitter.com/MdG7SHb89A
— Jason, ex Inferis (@benedictsred) June 21, 2024
4.
Not to expose myself for being dumb—but the vet told me my dog had a spot that might be a melanoma and the first words out of my mouth were “oh that does run in our family.” Like, I really forgot for a sec that I did not give birth to her.
— Caitlin Canahai (@caitlincanahey) June 21, 2024
5.
when you have to send your friend a formal work email pic.twitter.com/z9S3DFldhB
— lucy ford 🍊 (@lucyj_ford) June 21, 2024
6.
Eating 100 grams of protein a day but I don’t lift so it’s going straight to my brain. Just remembered how to do long division
— serena shahidi (@glamdemon2004) June 20, 2024
7.
“would y’all slap me for—“ pic.twitter.com/bUZQsxDvZQ
— ❒ (@RlCKYRAGE) June 21, 2024
8.
Rapunzel if she had twitter https://t.co/QaBwTTuhwr
— rheya ᯓ 🍉 (@amitheonlyone_n) June 21, 2024
9.
british people are like "i was in Uni" and they mean preschool or some bullshit idk im tired of their asses
— Anne Chovy (@AnneChovy2) June 21, 2024
10.
Atleast someone loves me and fights for me. I love u my white blood cells
— tahreemsuhail (@tahreeem_) June 21, 2024
11.
two dumb btches telling each other "exactlyyyyy" pic.twitter.com/lGzfajIkri
— ube (@bbyube) June 21, 2024
12.
Snap and Crackle after visiting the hospital https://t.co/LOjMyZGfN3
— James Topham (@JamesTophamWord) June 21, 2024
13.
Why did I call a job asking if they're hiring and they said no we're firing LMFAOOOOOOO
— naomi (@nomidrj) June 21, 2024
14.
you want me to turn 27? the number of dresses that killed katherine heigl??
— maddie rundlett (@madsruns) June 21, 2024
15.
me acting like the liquor not strong pic.twitter.com/2xv43aY3Mf
— Jhonny ⚹٭ (@JhonnyWhite69) June 20, 2024
16.
i was definitely born in the right era. i love being able to tell men to shut the fck up without being lobotomized.
— ube (@bbyube) June 21, 2024
17.
how it feels to live with your parents in your twenties pic.twitter.com/Zcon387tXw
— 🌟 (@peachcrises) June 20, 2024
18.
Is somebody gonna match my sleep 😩 https://t.co/myCvcKT9ro
— Dolly D 🌻 (@thevivianbanks) June 21, 2024
19.
20.
My nephew just told this man in Chipotle “My auntie’s body is NOT for your eyes!”
— BBL Stephyy 🍑 (@stef_oh_nee) June 21, 2024
I was feeling so protected & loved til I turned around to see the finest man I ever seen in my life.
Gotta show my nephew a flow chart
21.
me: hi, how can i help you?
— mariana (@pastapilled) June 20, 2024
customers:pic.twitter.com/CrOPaciWYK
22.
Why is this filmed like an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians https://t.co/CfZ0WCFDMM
— Sophie Thompson (@sophxthompson) June 21, 2024
23.
this is how it feels to be 16 and your best friend just got their license and you are going to Taco Bell pic.twitter.com/CxHxUEk8dG
— 7/11 Truther (@DaveMcNamee3000) June 20, 2024
24.
The 16 year old kid bagging my groceries asked me how my day was going and I said “can’t complain” and he responded “probably wouldn’t do any good if you did” and honestly that kid is a straight shooter with upper management potential written all over him.
— Ryan, Perdido en TX (@RyanLostinTX) June 20, 2024