Sorry, But I'm Still Laughing At The 22 Funniest Tweets By Women This Week

gonna make 7 men cry this summer y'all gonna pay for what my ex did to me

— ube (@bbyube) June 24, 2024

There’s a guy at the airport carrying one of those massive checks for 2,000 dollars and you can tell he doesn’t really wanna talk about it which is an insane situation to be in

— Laura Peek (@laurapeek_) June 23, 2024

Moments before my plane doors closed this guy rushes on and goes "I MADE IT BOYS" and like 10 dudes scattered around the plane started cheering and he high fived them all as he went to his seat. Their boys weekend in Bozeman is about to be a feature film

— anne (@lildovzz) June 20, 2024

whoever coined the phrase "righty tighty, lefty loosey" was probably the greatest communicator in the history of the english language. do you think he had to workshop it to get it there or do you think inspiration struck him like a bolt of lightning

— lauren (@Very__Regular) June 24, 2024

being productive at work is EASY with a disciplined routine: I spend the first 6 hours doing nothing at all, and the final 2 hours in absolute SICKO mode with the fear of god inside me

— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) June 24, 2024

some men have this irrational fear of being used for money they don’t have

— ube (@bbyube) June 23, 2024

when you are a retired party girl you still have some of that party girl in you. Like no I do not go out 3xs a week anymore but when I make that special appearance the feral rat awakens like an ancient beast

— Feral Rat (@_mull__) June 25, 2024

no i don’t want to jump on a call i want to jump off a building

— erin chack (@ErinChack) June 25, 2024

Watching sports in your 30s is a real sobering experience because announcers are like “look at this ancient fuck who’s the oldest senior citizen to ever win a championship” and he’s two years younger than you are

— Charlotte Wilder (@TheWilderThings) June 25, 2024

hey boss can i go home i’m feeling unserious and silly today

— erica (@ericanextdooor) June 25, 2024

I hope someone loves you so well you never have to watch a tarot reading again

— Zartana (@Zartana__) June 25, 2024

Men will be 30 and still be like “idk what i want :/“ & like you have 5 more years with hair so please figure it out

— Nimrah Maryam (@TheNimrahMaryam) June 25, 2024

You should be able to google why a couple broke up

— ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱‧₊˚ (@bendergirlfrend) June 24, 2024

babe whats wrong you havent even touched your frogcaccia pic.twitter.com/eFVpb5Ge5e

— 𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖑𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖌𝖆𝖗 🦇 (@dumpstxrfire_) June 24, 2024

Are you there, god? no worries if not

— Natalie Would (@_NatalieWould) June 26, 2024

For anyone who signed my grade 8 yearbook-

I did stay cool. Thanks for the advice

— that nerdy girl (@leeleedutchaski) June 25, 2024

My favorite thing about men is their commitment to disappointment. The consistency is amazing.

— black airforce activity (@__ajga) June 24, 2024

How dare someone steal my official parking spot that no one knew was mine except me

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) June 24, 2024

I’m so old, I remember when social media was a just fun little experiment to connect with former classmates, and now it’s a full blown dystopian nightmare.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 25, 2024

Sorry. Can’t. It’s my bday month so I have 423 businesses to patronize all so I can save $3.50 and get a free cookie

— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) June 25, 2024

She died doing what she loved, trying to find something to watch

— Bird Eckler (@Birdeckler) June 24, 2024

if you think dating women is going to be easier than dating men, let me touch your hand when I say this…

— iman, the scorpio. (@imanmuejaza) June 25, 2024

When I lose 2-4 followers on Instagram every time I post pic.twitter.com/Xxz3uprHnY

— ana (@soundofsiIver) June 25, 2024