How do you address coaching dependency and resistance?

1 What is coaching dependency and resistance?

Coaching dependency and resistance are two opposite but related behaviors that can hinder your client's progress and autonomy. Coaching dependency occurs when your client becomes overly reliant on your guidance, feedback, or approval, and lacks confidence or motivation to act on their own. Coaching resistance occurs when your client rejects, avoids, or minimizes your input, suggestions, or challenges, and shows little interest or commitment to change. Both behaviors can stem from various factors, such as fear, insecurity, mistrust, or unrealistic expectations.

2 How to spot coaching dependency and resistance?

When coaching, it's important to pay attention to your client's verbal and non-verbal cues, as well as your own feelings and reactions. This will help you spot coaching dependency and resistance. Signs of coaching dependency include asking for frequent or excessive contact or support, seeking validation or approval for every decision or action, expressing doubt or anxiety about their capabilities or goals, relying on you to set the agenda or direction of the coaching, and showing reluctance to end the coaching relationship or reduce the frequency of sessions. On the other hand, signs of coaching resistance include dismissing or ignoring your feedback or questions, making excuses or blaming others for their challenges or setbacks, showing defensiveness or hostility when challenged or confronted, avoiding or canceling sessions or assignments, and showing no improvement or change in their behavior or performance.

3 How to address coaching dependency and resistance?

To address coaching dependency and resistance, you need to use a combination of empathy, curiosity, and assertiveness. Strategies to try include empathizing with your client's feelings and concerns, and acknowledging their strengths and achievements. Ask open-ended and powerful questions that help your client explore their underlying beliefs, assumptions, or emotions that may be driving their behavior. Challenge your client to take responsibility and ownership of their actions and outcomes, as well as identify and pursue their own solutions. Assert your role and boundaries as a coach, clarify your expectations and goals for the coaching relationship, and provide honest and constructive feedback that balances support and challenge. Review and celebrate your client's progress and results, helping them plan for their future development and sustainability.

4 How to maintain coaching ethics and boundaries?

Maintaining coaching ethics and boundaries is essential for ensuring the trust, respect, and professionalism of your coaching relationship. As an executive coach, you are responsible for adhering to the ethical standards and codes of conduct of your profession, organization, or association. This includes respecting your client's autonomy, confidentiality, and diversity; establishing clear and mutual agreements; avoiding any conflicts of interest; referring clients to other resources or professionals if needed; seeking regular supervision or peer feedback; and engaging in continuous learning and development. These principles are key for maintaining a successful coaching relationship.

5 How to benefit from coaching dependency and resistance?

Coaching dependency and resistance are not necessarily negative or harmful, but rather opportunities for learning and growth for both you and your client. By addressing these behaviors, you can strengthen your rapport and trust with your client, enhance your communication and feedback skills, deepen your understanding of your client's needs and motivations, facilitate your client's self-awareness and empowerment, foster their independence and accountability, and ultimately improve their satisfaction and results.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?