Your client resists new perspectives in coaching sessions. How can you break through their resistance?

Resistance is natural in transitions, as they displace us and push us out of our comfort zones. As a coach, when I notice resistance, whether big or small, I listen intently to the client and then bring it to their attention. Together, we work to understand the underlying causes of this blockage. I partner with the client and support them in navigating the tough terrain they encounter, with patience and by holding space for them. This allows them to feel safe and take the next step in that security.

You don't "break through" client resistance because it's a sign of a lack of rapport with the client. When clients feel safe, they're open to new ideas. If they're closed off, that means they don't feel safe. The job of a coach is to create a comfortable space. This can be as simple as allowing them to lead the discussion. Putting them in control will allow them to feel more safe and be more receptive to the coach's recommendations.

I don't just encourage ownership, it's a fundamental agreement that clients opt into when they work with me. The job of a coach isn't to fix the client's problems. It's to give them the resources and guidance to find their own solutions. This starts with the acknowledgment that they have ownership and responsibility for their effort and results.

When a client resists new perspectives in coaching sessions, encourage ownership to break through their resistance. Start by asking open-ended questions that help them reflect on their goals and challenges. Let them identify areas where they feel stuck and invite them to explore potential solutions. This helps them take responsibility for their growth. Empower them by highlighting their strengths and past successes. Show them how adopting new perspectives can lead to positive outcomes they've achieved before. By making them an active participant in their journey, you help them see the value in being open to new ideas.

When a client resists new perspectives in coaching sessions, reframe challenges to break through their resistance. Start by acknowledging their concerns and validating their feelings. Then, shift the focus by presenting the challenge as an opportunity for growth and learning. Use positive language to highlight the potential benefits of adopting a new perspective. Share examples of how overcoming similar challenges has led to success for others. Encourage them to view the situation from different angles, emphasizing that reframing challenges can lead to innovative solutions. By helping them see challenges in a new light, you can inspire openness and a willingness to try new approaches.

As coaches, we offer a new perspective. It's up to the client how much of it they're willing to accept. To be effective, we need to let go of attachment to them "getting it." Each client will get there on their own time. Being supported regardless of outcomes allows clients to build confidence in themselves for the long run.

Share real-life examples of other clients who have overcome similar challenges and achieved success. Hearing these success stories can inspire your client and show them that change is possible. It can also help them see that they are not alone in their struggles and that others have been able to move past their resistance and create positive change in their lives. Another effective way to break through client resistance is to ask the right questions. Instead of telling your clients what to do or how to think, ask open-ended questions that challenge their current beliefs and perspectives. Encourage them to explore different possibilities and consider alternative viewpoints.

It's not our job as coaches to "break" the resistance. Our job is to support the client in the best possible way, so they do steps forward in their own way, not in the direction we think they should go.

Change, especially in ideology, can be very tough. Accepting a new perspective often means moving out of the comfort zone of what we already know and understand. New perspectives can create upheaval, where existing beliefs and new information conflict, leading to mental discomfort and resistance. As a coach, when I encounter resistance to a new perspective, I encourage clients to take one step at a time and move forward only when they feel ready. Venturing into unfamiliar territory can be intimidating due to the uncertainty associated with change. It's important for clients to take their time. Rather than seeing this as resistance, an empathetic and understanding partnership can help them move past it.

I would first reflect as a coach on what has led me to experience a coachee's response to a new perspective as resistance. Has the coachee invited me to share a perspective? Have I been given permission to share a new perspective? If not, I would question whether the issue is more about a lack of alignment around how the pair are partnering together in support of the coachee's goals. If the coachee has sought out new perspectives but has responded in a way that suggests they do not want to explore this, I would highlight this with them and explore the reasons. The coachee may not be ready to explore new perspectives. In this case, the work is to explore barriers to move forward to work towards agreed goals.

Help the client see resistance not as a barrier but as an opportunity for growth. Share examples and stories of how others have benefited from embracing new perspectives, making it relatable and less intimidating. Encourage the client to reflect on past successes where they overcame resistance and achieved positive outcomes. This can reinforce their ability to adapt and grow. Also, try tying new perspectives to their personal goals and aspirations. Show them how adopting a different viewpoint can directly contribute to achieving what they truly want.