What role does a childs environment play in developing resilience?

The family unit plays a pivotal role in nurturing and shaping resilience. A child's emotional stability is directly correlated to their resilience. It would be extremely beneficial to teach a child coping strategies to manage their emotional well-being, from a fairly young age. By laying a solid foundation for emotional management and regulation, a child will be better equipped to face challenges.

Family offers a prime opportunity for children to cultivate resilience. Providing unconditional love and serving as positive role models are crucial in nurturing a child's growth and thriving. As children flourish, it's essential to gradually introduce increasing levels of challenges, aiding in the development of resilience. Alvin Price's quote, 'Parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes to drain it dry,' aptly illustrates the pivotal role families play in fortifying a child's resilience.

Children learn much like AI, absorbing behaviors modeled by those around them. A home environment that is safe, supportive, nurturing, respects healthy boundaries, practices co-regulation, and offers unconditional love lays the foundation for a resilient, healthy mindset. This becomes their bedrock, guiding them throughout life. Conversely, exposure to dysfunctional or unhealthy behaviors can lead to a mindset filled with self-doubt and a harsh inner critic. Resilience, therefore, is primarily instilled by parents and primary caregivers. Their actions and behaviors set the stage for a child's emotional and psychological development.

Childeren, especially those below 7, are influenced directly by their family unit. Therefore, it plays a crucial role in shaping a child's resilience. A supportive and nurturing family environment can provide the emotional security and stability necessary for a child to develop resilience. Positive interactions with family members, encouragement, and consistent support help children feel safe and valued, which in turn fosters their ability to bounce back from adversity.

The influence of our family on our young minds is huge. I used to be amazed (when I first got into NLP) just how many adult issues and limiting beliefs, stem from early childhood; and the conditioning imposed by the family around us. Young children are like sponges as they try to make sense of the world, and like the sub-conscious mind, take everything on board as fact. They consciously start to question whether something is true or not, much later in their development. That’s why in early adulthood I held limiting beliefs around money (coming from a low income household, and being around parents worrying about money). I had to re-program my mind from a scarcity model to an abundant model, after which time my life changed dramatically.

Educational settings also contribute to the development of resilience in children. Schools that prioritize social and emotional learning, teach problem-solving skills, and provide opportunities for students to overcome challenges can enhance resilience. Teachers and other educational professionals can serve as role models and mentors, offering guidance and encouragement that further strengthens a child's resilience. Personally, I am always inspired by the Montesorri way of teaching.

I feel it’s not just ‘what’ you’re taught in school as a child, but ‘how’ you’re taught it. Most of us remember a special teacher at school, one that really inspired us, and that made school days a joy. Chances are, they took the time to connect with you, and talk to you in a way that ‘you’ understood. I thrived in a nurturing environment in primary school, hands on, practical, positive reinforcement. I struggled in secondary school, with the brutality, harshness, and a lot of negative reinforcement (“You will never amount to anything Curtis”). Looking back, primary school expanded my mind; and secondary school often closed it down. Environment can be SO influential on a young childs mind.

It stands to reason that, as a childs resilience is connected to those around them (the influence they have on their mind); then the broader the environment, the broader the influence. I experienced it on joining the ‘scouts’ aged 10. Out of my comfort zone, but it improved my resilience. Then again aged 12 when I joined the local theatre group - new people, new situations, new influences, and an expansion of my resilience. I remember going into ‘Senior Citizen Centres’ in December to do a Christmas play, and that sense of charity, of giving back and ‘paying it forward’, even as a child. That sense has never left me, the emotional stirring of the heart in the act of charitable help or giving. Amazing. ⭐️🙏🏼⭐️

The broader community context can influence a child's resilience as well. Communities that offer supportive networks, access to resources, and opportunities for involvement in activities that promote skill-building and social connections can bolster resilience. Additionally, community-based programs and services that address the needs of children and families facing adversity can provide valuable support.

It’s true that a friendly teacher who took the time to really connect with us, stays with us for life. And that’s a good thing. Be aware though of that bully teacher, or the playground bully, who might also bubble up in our memory. Holding onto that doesn’t help us really. There are plenty of quick, effective methods to let go of these negative interactions from our past. EFT or ‘tapping’ comes to mind - highly effective. Hold on to positive memories - the good teacher who boosted our resilience. And let go of the memory of that poor teacher who tipped the scales the other way. Forgive them, they likely had their own issues weighing them down. By embracing the positive, and reversing the negative, you’ll be in a much better place.

I think ‘screens’ have become one of the only windows into the broader world outside of a childs immediate environment. There was a time when a lot of children couldn’t read. So their framing of the world came from wise elders, verbally, through storytelling that fired the childs imagination. In my early years learning had to be from books, with a little childrens television which I loved. But the kids tele was for 90 minutes. The rest of the learning came from being outside, climbing trees, jumping streams, building dens. “Playing Out”. These days I feel it has swung too far in one direction - less ‘playing out’, less storytelling by (or listening to) our elders, and more media consumption than ever. Access, and moderation, are key.

Media offers children a window to explore worlds beyond their immediate environment, enriching their understanding and sparking curiosity. However, this exposure needs to be carefully curated to nurture their lifelong learning and foster a healthy, diverse perspective of the world. Unchecked access to media can have adverse effects on a child’s self-perception, potentially diminishing their resilience. Overexposure may lead to a reduced sense of self-worth, an inflated fear of worldly dangers, and an increased risk of adopting or being exposed to harmful behaviors. Thus, guiding and moderating a child’s media consumption is crucial in supporting their development into well-rounded, confident individuals.

The environment in which a child grows plays a crucial role in shaping resilience. Not only does it influence their development in the early years, but it also establishes the foundation for their capacity to bounce back from challenges in adulthood. Positive childhood experiences (PCE) can counteract, or even outweigh, adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). PCEs—like feeling safe and supported by family and friends, feeling safe in your community, or having supportive adults outside of your immediate family, have been shown to improve adult mental health.

It’s not solely personal experiences that shape resilience; it’s also about how these experiences are framed. Take the contrast between growth and fixed mindsets, for instance. The manner in which a child's experiences are framed can significantly influence their resilience. Praise that concentrates only on outcomes can lead to perfectionism and a fear of failure. Support and encouragement that celebrate the effort, learning, and persistence regardless of the outcome can build resilience and an intrinsic motivation to embrace challenges. Thus, nurturing healthy resilience in children involves not just the experiences they encounter but the constructive framing of these experiences, promoting a persistent and growth-oriented mindset.

Each child's unique experiences and interactions within their environment contribute to their resilience in different ways. Facing and overcoming challenges, experiencing failure and success, and learning from setbacks all contribute to the development of resilience. Encouraging children to reflect on their experiences, identify strengths, and learn from mistakes can further enhance their resilience. Keep in mind also the differences in personality of each child, which may require a slightly different approach.

People develop a sense of competence, as well as confidence in their abilities, when they actively address challenges. Because children's brains are still developing, the more encouragement and support they receive to tackle and overcome age appropriate obstacles, the stronger those neural pathways become, reinforcing resilience as they grow and mature.

Personally I think that faith in God and destiny is extremely useful for resilience. My father always said to me that whatever happens, happens for the best. This trust and faith has allowed me to manage the ups and downs of my life quite smoothly.

As discussed in 'Beyond Reactions: Nurturing an Emotionally Intelligent, Limitless Generation through Conscious Parenting' there are 4 core steps to increasing the resilience of children: 1. Do the work to break unhealthy generational cycles 2. Respect and Protect 3. Model and Guide 4. Play Each of these steps is crucial to embed in the environment a child is raised in to build up the resilience that will serve and protect them throughout their lifetime.

Overall, the environment in which a child grows and interacts plays a critical role in shaping their resilience. By fostering supportive relationships, providing opportunities for learning and growth, and promoting positive coping strategies, caregivers, educators, and communities can help children develop the resilience they need to thrive in the face of adversity. Next to that, their personality is an important factor to keep in mind, as it influences their way of learning, taking information and processing it.