Coastal Counseling Center of Virginia

Parents and caregivers play a crucial role in a child’s growth and development. The interest you show, your interactions with them and the guidance you provide all matters. These elements and more help influence how your child thinks, feels and interacts. 🏌️♀️ Be involved. What being involved means to you depends on your situation and the child’s age and stage. However you show up, it’s important to do so. Research shows children whose fathers are actively involved, nurturing and playful tend to have better control over their emotions and behavior and do better in school. 🏋️♀️Establish and be confident in your own style. Stereotypes in many cultures cast women as warm caregivers and men as distant providers. Maybe that works for you and your partner, if you have one, maybe it doesn’t. The reality is, you and your co-parent, if there is one, can define your roles in the way that works for you both. 🏄♀️ Work as a team. If you’re raising the child with a partner, whether you live together or not, your child will benefit from your cooperation. Be as consistent as possible regarding expectations and rules for the child. 🚶 Avoid putting your child in the middle or trying to gain favor. Instead, communicate openly, kindly and constructively. Work together privately — out of the child’s earshot — to make important decisions and resolve disagreements. #beingadad #tipsandtricks #caregiver

Boundaries are everywhere - and there are all different types 👀 What boundary do you feel is most important to you right now? 👍 #boundaries #boundarysetting #worldmentalhealthday

1. Think about where you need more boundaries. Look closely at areas of your life where you don’t feel balanced, a relationship feels off track, or your ability to communicate with someone has broken down. 2. Decide which boundaries you want to draw and stick to. Then commit to setting boundaries in those areas of your life. If it helps, write them down. 3. Set boundaries one at a time. Don’t make it too complicated. 4. Keep overheated emotions out of it. Don’t attempt to set boundaries when you’re lonely, angry, or overtired. 5. Reset boundaries that aren't working for you. Be prepared to modify them if they don’t work well for you or aren't meeting your needs. 6. Be realistic. Set unrealistic boundaries and you may be setting yourself up for failure. 7. Don’t be discouraged by setbacks. Just because you have a conversation about boundaries with someone or about some aspect of your life doesn’t mean that they are going to be implemented perfectly right away. People will forget your boundaries and they may need a reminder.

Boundaries - the limits and rules we set for ourselves with relationships. 🚶 🏌️♀️ 🏄♀️ 🏋️♀️ How do you place boundaries in your daily life? 👍 #boundaries #boundarysetting #worldmentalhealthday

Many things that happen during your workday are out of your control, but you can make small changes that can have a big impact. Follow these helpful tips: 💼 🏢 🤔 1. Set priorities. Trying to do too much makes you less productive and can stress you out. It can even lead to job burnout — a specific type of work stress. A 2017 study linked job burnout to health problems like heart disease, diabetes and insomnia.3 (Insomnia is when you have trouble sleeping.) Plus, some experts say that working on more than 1 task at the same time (multitasking) can lead to anxiety and depression. Try this: Experiment to find the best way to organize all the tasks you need to do. Try organizing apps like http://spr.ly/6043qjRr3 or Todoist. Or make a color-coded list in a notebook. Be realistic about what you can accomplish. And don’t feel bad if the items that are lower on your list get bumped to tomorrow. 🤔 2. Take control. Even with a high-stress job, you can gain some control with “job crafting.” That means finding a way to adjust your job to match your talents and the way you work best. Try this: Talk to your boss about making some small changes. Maybe you can: Ask if you can work from home a few days a week. See if you can shift your hours to fit the times of day when you have more energy. Take on new tasks that fit your skills. Pass other tasks to somebody else. Before you ask for any of the above, think about how these changes can help your employer. Studies show that feeling in control at work lowers your risk of physical health concerns, including stroke.4 And being a happy, healthy worker makes your boss’s job easier too. 🤔 3. Find healthy ways to de-stress. Almost everyone has trouble dealing with stress at work. After a tough day, it may seem easy to soothe yourself with junk food or a glass of wine. But this can bring on poor mental and physical health in the long run. Instead, Bufka suggests, find simple ways to stay healthy. Drink plenty of water and get more exercise, even if it’s just taking the stairs instead of the elevator.

How to approach a difficult conversation with your boss at work 📁 📢Featuring Britt Young from Xplor Counseling of Hawaii #boundaries #emotionalwellbeing #worldmentalhealthday

Without strong boundaries, you can suffer both physically and emotionally. If you have weak work boundaries — perhaps you take on new projects despite being busy — you can end up feeling tired, grouchy and burned out. A weak or missing boundary in one area can have a domino effect on many aspects of your life. “The downstream consequences can include a lack of time or emotional availability for the people and things you care about,” Holland-Kornegay says. 🚴 For example, if you have a friendship that takes a lot of bandwidth — perhaps this person calls you constantly — you can end up short-changing people who are important to you. You may not get enough sleep or self-care time. This can impact your concentration at work, your mood and your health overall. Another serious pitfall of poor boundaries: You increase the chances of being used, manipulated or violated by others. When you aren’t clear on what kind of treatment you’ll tolerate from others, you may be more vulnerable to accepting disrespect and abuse. (This doesn’t mean it’s your fault when you’re mistreated.) #settingboundaries #physical #mental #emotiona;

Setting boundaries might sound easy in theory: No more volunteering to take on extra assignments? Done. An end to hours-long conversations with the neighbor about her divorce? Check. But it can be difficult in reality, and it takes practice to perfect. 😛 😬 🙄 Some people struggle with it more than others. There are several reasons for this: 👉 You’re afraid you’ll hurt someone’s feelings. It’s a fact that setting a boundary could cause the person on the receiving end to have negative feelings, Doll says. And for some folks, this possibility may keep them from setting limits. It’s normal to be empathic. But if you don‘t set limits for fear of hurting them, you’re essentially prioritizing their feelings over your own wellness. 👉 Your personality may predispose you to avoid boundary-setting. Some personality types are more prone than others to having weak boundaries. For people who tend to want to please others or seek approval, boundary-setting isn’t always natural. 👉 You’re not comfortable communicating your boundaries. Setting boundaries requires communicating them clearly to the people who challenge them, which can create discomfort. “It requires a level of assertiveness, and that can be challenging for some,” Doll says. 👉 Your boundaries aren’t clear to yourself, let alone others. It’s impossible to communicate something that you haven’t fully defined for yourself. Taking time to figure out what’s important to you and how you will safeguard those priorities will help you identify the boundaries that you’ll set and communicate. #boundaries #commnication #peoplepleaser #emotionalhealth

✏️ Building Healthy Boundaries What are boundaries and what are the different types? Featuring Britt Young from Xplor Counseling of Hawaii 👋 #boundaries #emotionalwellbeing #worldmentalhealthday

Here are some tips to do just that: ✏️ Go for doable. “Make boundaries achievable and clear,” Holland-Kornegay says. Don’t set such a high bar (no work on weekends ever) that you won’t be able to keep that boundary in place. Better: Set a moderate, specific boundary: 2 weekends each month completely work-free. ✏️Stick to the big stuff. Don’t fall into the trap of setting constraints on trivial things. Instead, “make a few sensible boundaries for the big-ticket stressors in your life and introduce more once you feel like you’re ready,” says Holland-Kornegay. ✏️Focus on what makes you happy and work backward from there. Look for the high point in your day. Maybe you feel incredible when you find time to jog, read a book, hang out with the family, listen to a podcast or just relax in a bath. The question you need to ask yourself: How can I sprinkle more of these satisfying activities into my day? ✏️Consider the relationship when setting a boundary. Limits will vary depending on the situation and who’s involved, Doll says. You’ll have different boundaries with your work colleague than with your spouse, for instance. #boundaries #boundarysetting #tipsandtricks