Rhodes to Change Coaching

I'm so proud and grateful to be one of the team of coaches supporting the West Yorkshire Business Boost programme aimed at SME's in West Yorkshire. it is a privilege to work alongside The Leadership Centre, Exemplas, Leeds Beckett University and the whole host of businesses we are supporting to grow the local economy. Check out the video below to see the difference this fantastic programme is making. #coaching

'Know Thyself' A long time ago when I was a student, I distinctly remember being strongly encouraged to reconsider my course selections, particularly where my beloved drama was involved... "Drama (it was emphatically delivered), is a Mickey Mouse Course." The message was conveyed with love and with my best intentions at heart. I stayed with my course selections... Drama as it has turned out has been the education that has served me the most thoroughly throughout my career and as a parent...and I continue to tap into its resources every single day. Drama helped me to develop a variety of skills and abilities, including: 🎭Communication 🎭Confidence 🎭Creativity 🎭Empathy 🎭Critical thinking 🎭Emotional intelligence 🎭Concentration 🎭Memory 🎭Playfulness 🎭Connection Many people will share their perspectives and opinions with you with your wellbeing in mind. They will encourage you to act according to their design, they will compare you and maybe find you wanting... None of that matters...that's their story and not yours. What do you choose?

'Listen Up - Let's Summarize' So you've demonstrated active listening throughout your session(s). Now it's time to wrap up the coaching conversation. Here's a few more skills to demonstrate how well you've listened and importantly, enable the coachee to consider the options discussed during their conversation to move things forward towards achieving their goals. Paraphrasing is a powerful way to ensure that you and the coachee are on the same page. It conveys to the person speaking that you have been intently listening throughout the conversation. It's useful to check in to reflect back what you've heard accurately, using some of the key words they've used to make sure you got it right. It also gives the speaker an opportunity to modify or augment the meaning of their words which can be very impactful to them when they hear them back. Summarizing helps to wrap up conversation in a boiled down way. Restating the main points of the conversation and identifying any options that the person wants to consider or indeed choices they may make. By summarizing well, you articulate their chosen next steps and goals, clearly identifying actions and ownership (including any that you have committed to during the conversation). It helps the speaker to have heard a consolidated essence of their conversation from a compassionate yet impartial third party. This part of the conversation also helps to frame the rules of engagement on what happens next and remind the speaker about any ethics or agreements such as ongoing contracting or confidentiality if such agreements exist between you. In the spirit of summarizing let's consolidate what we've covered in this series of Active Listening posts throughout the month of October 👂 'Pay attention' - The quality in which you pay attention, observe, notice, and listen. 👂'No Judgement' - Holding space for the person to process their challenge, rather than give them a solution. You do not have an agenda and do not offer your feedback – verbal or non-verbal. 👂'Self Awareness' - setting aside any preconceived ideas when you notice them. Become aware of your own internal commentary as coach and tuning in to what the other person is saying. 👂'listen for emotions & feelings' - this is as much to pay attention to these signs of emotions and feelings as to get the speaker to register them too. 👂'Clarify to demystify' - Using techniques to ask the speaker to say rephrase, answer questions, add useful descriptions, context and examples to enable two way clarity. 👂'Empathy' - Support not sympathy. We do not help by compounding feelings or turning the coachee into a victim. 👂 'Self-Compassion' - Checking in with yourself that you are in a good place to do this conversation justice. 👂 'Summarize' - wrap it up with no loose ambiguous ends. So that's a wrap. Happy Active listening fellow coaches and leaders. #listenup #activelistening #summarizing #coaching

Relatable...😂🤣 Anyone else feeling the same today?

'Listen up - Self Compassion' So here we are again, and here too is my penultimate post about Active listening in this mini series. This post is entirely about you when you have the role as a listener. Not the person speaking. Not your job, your responsibilities or what's expected of you... just you. In order to do active listening justice, or optimally, it's worth recognising that you need to be in a good place yourself (see the recent post about self-awareness). If you're not feeling in a good place and recognise it, then self compassion is needed first. When you are in a good place you can effectively observe, listen and hold the space for others, and not carry the concerns or emotional burdens that other people share when they join you in the space. You might well be walking alongside them, providing a supportive space and signposting all available options and help that is available but if you start to become emotionally invested to your detriment, there is a personal threshold being crossed. A boundary that you must marshall. I'm not perfect (no one is), so I speak from experience (not judgement). Many times the complexity of what I hear or the sheer volume of things to be listened to can feel overwhelming or upsetting. Recognising when you need help or self compassion is a strength If ever you've noticed this too, please get clear on what mechanisms you have for your personal support. Who listens to you? Who supports you. Do you know how to access wellbeing support when you might need it? How do the concerns you might in turn escalate or support individuals to escalate themselves get listened to appropriately? These things are often easier to define in workplaces and harder in our personal lives, but every bit as important. Do you have a sense of trust or do you feel a sense of vulnerability when communicating and escalating the themes you have heard to appropriate places, for instance, if you are a care giver to a loved one, do you have a good relationship with your GP? The culture in which you provide your support matters significantly and has opportunity to affect your wellbeing if you don't feel supported. What you are asked to do as a good listener is complex and invariably messy (otherwise your listening skills would probably not have been sought out and the person talking would have dealt with their issues themselves). So please, do whatever self compassion means to you first and always. #listenup #coaching #activelistening #selfcompassion

'National Mentoring Day' As a professionally qualified Coach and Mentor, I'm proud to celebrate National Mentoring Day today. These days, I actively choose to spend the hugest proportion of my time in the coaching space. I see the power in nurturing others capacity for thinking for themselves. A space where people arrive at their own choices, in service of their own goals. I completely trust that they are capable of achieving these things with or without my help as their coach, but that my help simply speeds the process up significantly. I also recognise that I really only got to become a Coach and Mentor when I did because I was inspired by my Mentors. People who put their time and trust into me, developed and challenged me. People who guided me and gave me sage advice and good counsel. People who nudged me in a direction because they believed I was capable (and they were right). I will therefore continue to make sure to leave room for mentoring, and while I personally aim to limit giving advice these days, there will always be examples that demonstrate there is a place for it. As a mentor, I will continue to stand for others, advocating for them when they are not in the room, making useful introductions to my contacts and sharing potential opportunities that they alone don't easily have access to. For these reasons and many more, while ever I always choose coaching, there will always be a place in my life for the mentor within me and I see that these roles are not mutually exclusive. #Mentoring #Coaching

Powerful and essential stuff this self care...

Empathy is not sympathy. I'm constant delighted by how many of the qualities of being a Freedom to Speak Up Guardian are shared with being a Coach.

Wave of Light...

'Beyond the Mountains...More Mountains' So, I'll admit, when I first read this Haitian Proverb in the newest of Oliver Burkeman's books - 'Meditations for Mortals' I had to read it several times....I think a little in disbelief...(which now I guess I find quite funny in hindsight). Because on first read, I felt a terrible sense of disappointment...quickly followed by quite a lot of indignation... "What really? So what you're signposting to me Oliver, is that after I've dealt with this problem, what I've got to look forward to, is just more problems?" And yes, that's about the size of it... but as Oliver also promised, once you've wrapped your head around this and embraced your inner stoic, it's weirdly and delightfully freeing... OK, so I know that sounds weird, but what he also points out is that if you look behind you, there were nothing but mountains there too, and you traversed them all to get to this point in time.. so it stands to reason that you are no less capable of dealing with what's in front of you too. Also, not every mountain is the same height or complexity, and as you cut your teeth (figuratively not literally) on the previous mountains, you pick up skills and techniques and maybe even some climbing buddies or Sherpas along the way that better equip you to deal with what's ahead... Once you start to trust your abilities you realise there's not much point in worrying about what's coming ahead (yes, you can strategize and plan your best route to the best of your abilities, that's different to worrying) because whatever it is you can and will handle it. You can also pause if the going gets tough, perhaps acclimatize for a bit at base camp before setting off again... and again and again. Truly a fabulous book... I'll pop a link in the comments. Now, go get your next mountain under your belt... because I know you can do it and so do you.