Today's #WorthyBook #Reflection-- Chapter 12 of Unlearning (Part 8 of 9), Lie #8- If I'm Me, I Won't Be Loved
This chapter opens with a quote from American professor, social worker, and storyteller Brene Brown: "You either walk into your own story and own your truth, or you live outside of your story, hustling for your worthiness". In other words, Jamie Kern Lima tells us that many think that if they are not their full #authentic self, they will not be loved. However, this is a myth, and the contrary holds true: being our full #authentic selves will bring us joy and #confidence.
Jamie also discusses the #psychological phenomenon of homophily, where we seek the company of others who are like us, in terms of academics, interests, backgrounds, and so forth. Although this is good to an extent, we risk becoming so close-minded and unable to consider other perspectives. It never hurts to seek out those who are different from us-- in fact, this is how we learn from each other and appreciate the little things about others that we otherwise would not have known. In my experience in school, work, and making friends, I always and still make a point to seek out those I can learn something from, and those who will challenge me to be the best full version of myself. My mom always tells me: "If you can't learn something from them, let them go". Similarly, don't go against your own values and personality to gain the acceptance of others-- this actually results in an inverse relationship between popularity and happiness. Yes, you may be popular, but are you really happy with where you are? My grandfather always told me something that Jamie also mentions in this book: "Treat everything that comes to you in life as a gift, and don't squander it". Whether it be a new-found friendship, your dream job, a new house, or even the fact that you wake up every morning, are healthy, and capable of the little actions we take for granted, such as #communication, mobility, and our senses. Shift your #mindset from "I don't have to" to "I GET TO".
One last point I will leave you with is when it comes to any type of relationship, dare to be #vulnerable. #Vulnerability strengthens relationships, and it is important to show up fully as YOU. Don't waste energy on being someone you're not. This is also true in this age of rapidly evolving #technology and life after the COVID-19 pandemic, in the sense that both have created a sense of #disconnection. Online is not the same as being in-person, and what you see on social media might not reflect the person in real life. A friend told me that the Internet is destroying humanity, and it's sad. We need to be ourselves in every facet of our life, because the path to love and #connection is to reveal the real.
#WorthyBook #JamieKernLima
Senior Manager at LBMC PC | Certified Public Accountant | Tax Preparation & Business Consulting
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