As a first-time VP, I reached out to 3 women who'd had a version of my job.
The 1st never responded.
The 2nd said yes. Then rescheduled 5x. In a war of attrition, she was victor.
The 3rd told me the org had burned her out. Perhaps my boss could show me how to do my job. Fair.
As a 20 something year old, I muttered a line about kinfolk and kept living.
Then I founded Offor -- a talent brokering & executive search firm.
And the requests for my help became frequent, fast and loud.
Now I was the one who ignored requests. Said no often without explanation.
Baffled by requests from entitled strangers - many that sounded just like me all those years ago.
So, when I invited an ex-tech CEO to be a part of Offor's inaugural podcast #ExitInterview - the definitive place for #founders to tell their story post exit, I was surprised by the quality of her clear & kind NO.
"Thanks for reaching out, Ify. I'm so humbled you've thought of me for this opportunity but I must decline. Until I figure out how to clone myself I just don't have enough bandwidth to say yes to all of the requests I'm getting in this new phase."
She didn't ignore my request, which I would have understood.
She didn't say yes and then reschedule 5x, which is often a sign of a desire to help battling a desire to protect personal and professional priorities.
Women executives are often in an impossible bind. Black women. Doubly so.
Be competent AND caring. Youthful AND seasoned. Sharp AND soft. Give selflessly— but by all means drink your water, sleep 9 hours with health and hair on point.
These 3 executives defied society’s expectations — that they be available to everyone but themselves.
I don’t know if they were busy.
I do know they were clear. And willing to protect their dreams - and themselves.
So, to all the founders - many of whom are the first, the few and the only, protect yourself.
Get that EA AND Chief of staff.
Say yes to what you want, without draining your own cup.
And yes, send NOs as lovely as the one that this founder/EA sent to me.
After you step down/sell/exit, come see me when you're ready to tell your exit story on #ExitInterview. 👑
Learning Professional | Experienced Learning Specialist Facilitation | F2F & Virtual | Training Lead | Change Lead | Onboarding & Integration | System & Technical Trainer | Instructional Design | CRM & ERP Projects
2moWonderful.. I look forward to meeting you Julie when I drop off our community collection of handbags 👜 ❤️