Erica Skinner, CFRE’s Post

This month marks a year since I lost two babies - one very early on, and one almost halfway through a pregnancy (I was due at the end of this month). It was absolutely brutal in more ways than I could ever describe. Feels a bit ironic, given #BabyLossAwarenessWeek falls this month. I don't usually like to use this platform for personal posts, but I do like to rant on here occasionally about parenting issues, especially as they relate to work life and the workforce. It's evident globally that governments are failing to show up for parents trying to raise tiny humans, and it's cruel, really. But the parenting issue that really falls by the wayside is this kind of loss - for both moms and dads. What's interesting is that many people, like myself, try to keep busy with work to get through something like this and do anything to "feel normal." It’s not always a great strategy, but we all have different ways of coping and you've got to do what works for you. I was lucky because while I was working to sort out the immediate overwhelming feelings, I had a few trusted people in my work world show up for me and support me along the way. You know who you are. ❤️ That said, this topic can be uncharted waters if someone hasn’t supported a person in this situation before. You don’t want to say the wrong thing or trigger them, so here are some tips on how to be a strong support during this emotional and often tricky time: - Let them guide the conversation and talk about it when they’re ready. - Don’t ask when they might try again - there’s a good chance they won’t. - Just listen and check in with a call. Texts are fine, but calls are better. - Give them hugs (if they’re a hugger) at random times. Tough waves of emotion can often pop up out of nowhere, and hugs always help. - Send funny and ridiculous memes. Laughter really is the best medicine - the more absurd, the better. - Remind them that they’re doing a great job, showing up how they can - and that it’s enough. You can find more info here: https://lnkd.in/eJKjbHyf I'm not sure if anyone ever truly gets over this type of loss, but life is infinitely better when you have support from the people around you, so I hope this helps. Keep talking about it, keep showing up. x #parenting #loss #community #mother

The impact of attachment on social and emotional development. Highly recommend this quick read that yet again highlights evidence about the fundamental importance of the early years and the crucial role of health visiting.

Unpopular opinion: I think this idea is very dangerous. Sure, when you become a mum, you learn to love your kids like never before. They teach you this super strong love that beats everything else. You naturally start putting your kids first, even during pregnancy, and you might keep doing that until the end of your life. Saying that motherhood has to come with unselfishness is dangerous, because for many mums it has an implication that you always have to prioritise your children first, you can't be the centre of your universe any more. And that is a thought breaking too many mothers, as they feel that they need to give up who they are. They need to be there always, available, in case they are needed. It makes them think it's wrong to build a career. They might feel guilty if they spend an afternoon every week on something they're passionate about or take a day off with friends or their partner. Motherhood is a huge balancing act to be there for our children who we love to the moon, and not lose ourselves in the meantime. What is the key to finding the balance? How do you do it? #workingmums #Womenleaders #Womenintech #worklifebalance #workingmoms #professionalwomen

Having a child is one of the most significant milestones in life. It’s no wonder we feel overwhelmed after giving birth. Everything in our world has shifted, but that doesn’t mean we’re lost. 🤱🏼 The transition from pregnancy to motherhood may feel like a blur but it’s just about finding your new normal and learning to thrive during motherhood. Here are three things you can do to help ease the transition from pregnancy to motherhood. ✨ 🧡 Find your tribe. It is worth the time to find a group of women where you can connect with and share experiences about motherhood. 🧡 Ask for help. Take time for yourself to establish a self-care routine that will help you connect with your pre-baby self. 🧡 Be patient. Give yourself the time and grace you deserve to adjust to your new normal. Got any more tips on how to adjust to motherhood? Let us know in the comments. We’d love to hear from you.

Family support during pregnancy is more than just physical assistance; it's about emotional nourishment. A reassuring word from a mother who has walked this path before, a comforting hug from a partner who shares the journey, or a thoughtful gesture from a sibling who cares – these small acts of love can make an enormous difference. They weave a safety net that catches a mother when she feels overwhelmed and lifts her when she needs strength. Studies have shown that pregnant women with strong family support are more likely to experience positive outcomes. They tend to have fewer complications, lower levels of stress, and a greater sense of well-being. The presence of a loving family can ease fears and foster a sense of security, allowing the expectant mother to focus on the beautiful process of bringing new life into the world. So, let us cherish and embrace the vital role of family support during pregnancy. It's a gift that resonates far beyond the nine months, creating ripples of love that last a lifetime.

Unpopular opinion: I think this idea is very dangerous. Sure, when you become a mum, you learn to love your kids like never before. They teach you this super strong love that beats everything else. You naturally start putting your kids first, even during pregnancy, and you might keep doing that until the end of your life. Saying that motherhood has to come with unselfishness is dangerous, because for many mums it has an implication that you always have to prioritise your children first, you can't be the centre of your universe any more. And that is a thought breaking too many mothers, as they feel that they need to give up who they are. They need to be there always, available, in case they are needed. It makes them think it's wrong to build a career. They might feel guilty if they spend an afternoon every week on something they're passionate about or take a day off with friends or their partner. Motherhood is a huge balancing act to be there for our children who we love to the moon, and not lose ourselves in the meantime. What is the key to finding the balance? How do you do it? #workingmums #Womenleaders #Womenintech #worklifebalance #workingmoms #professionalwomen

Let me share a personal story that taught me the power of asking for support. When I was pregnant with our first child, my husband and I were balancing work and family seamlessly. However, the second pregnancy brought unexpected twists. Our daughter arrived a month before COVID changed everything, leaving us isolated without external help. It was just the four of us, and with our eldest barely 1.5 years old, my husband's presence was divided. I felt the weight of being unsupported, yearning for help. I wish someone would have told about the art of asking question. Here it is : -Ask for support when you need it -Be clear and specific when explaining the issue and potential steps already made to solve it. -Stay polite and respectful, ask with your heart the person who is about to help. Don't let your hormones get the best of you. -Ask only one question at the time. -Mind the timing, for example If your partner is coming back home tired from work and you jump at him with your to do list for him. How do you think he will react ? #SupportIsStrength #MotherhoodJourney #expectingmum #momlife

Many parents who struggle during pregnancy, birth and the early days of parenting feel alone, and often think that how they feel is unusual or wrong. But many parents find this time hard. Peer supporters are parents with 'lived experience'. They've been there too so know just how challenging this time in your life can be. They will listen, empathise and understand. Read stories from parents about how peer support can help: https://buff.ly/404IeOn

This is so real. Finally coming up from the haze that is being a new parent and I have a mountain of unanswered requests and emails that I’m slowly starting to get back to. What pregnancy and postpartum has taught me is that capitalism is gonna capitalize and folks don’t care if you are pregnant or just had a baby. They will still ask you for a million different things without considering how when a child comes into your life and you become a full-time caretaker, your capacity and productivity change completely. I have to constantly give myself grace because I’m not as productive as I was before. Before pregnancy, people would always ask me how I got so much done in a day. Now, it’s harder to find time to do anything I was doing before, while my partner and I care for a new baby. For those of you who are new parents reading this, please be kind to yourself and give yourself grace. Shift your expectations and don’t try to do everything you were doing pre-baby—you’ll just burn yourself out. And for everyone else reading this, you never know what people are going through so be kind and give grace. If your email goes unanswered, don’t automatically assume folks have ill intentions or are being malicious. #Postpartum #Parenthood #Productivity

🌼 October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month 🌼 This month, we take a moment to honor and remember the little lives lost too soon. If you or someone you know is navigating the complexities of grief from pregnancy or infant loss, know that you are not alone. ✨ Grief can be overwhelming, and it’s essential to give yourself the space to feel and process your emotions. It’s okay to seek support, whether through friends, family, or professional counseling. Let’s come together to share stories, offer support, and raise awareness. Your feelings matter, and healing is possible. If you need someone to talk to, our doors are open. 💚 #PregnancyAndInfantLossAwareness #MentalHealthMatters #SupportAndHealing